I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 22, I'm 7 months pregnant with a little girl. Him and i met on drugs and decided to quit together. But after we quit it's like he leaves for days at a time and doesn't call or anything. It took him a long time to get a steady job (til about 6 weeks ago) and he also has another daughter that he doesn't see and his dad pays child support for. He's not honest about where his money goes when he gets paid, it just disapears, and when i ask about it he gets REALLY mad. He left again this weekend its Tuesday afternoon and i haven't talked to him since Sunday morning. I give up so much for him, i don't talk to anybody except him. I get money and ill buy him something even though my parents tell me its just for me, he'll make me feel bad if i dont. It makes me feel bad because my parents have dont so much for me and him. He's crashed my car and done tons of other things to cost us money, not to mention a baby now. Well i feel like i have done enough for him and im kind of ready to tell him to f*** off but i dont know if i have really convinced myself of that. I'm so convinced that he's going to change, I'm scared that if i tell him its over that he wont care and he'll just go on with his life. I want him to convince me to be with him and start treating me sooo good. but i dont think he ever will. Someone please tell me advice on how i can just end it with him, i don't think i can on my own. PLEASE!!! i never planned on being a single teenage mom, i'd love for him and I to work out but it's not going to Crying or Very sad
I reckon that he is not ready to change yet because he is still immature and boys have problems with commitments. I can’t make my 30 year old who is mature enough for children, smart, has job, etc to treat me the way I want to and not to mention 22 year-old who has a lot of maturing to do.
You have probably matured a lot since you got pregnant because maternity does change women and they start thinking about the baby’s benefit. From your boyfriends’ behaviour, it seems that he still can’t draw the line and he still doesn’t understand the word responsibility. I don’ think that he will get this soon especially because he is father already. From his behaviour, I would say he may be still doing drugs. Has he been using cocaine? Sounds like cocaine user disappearing like that for days. Have you started living together?
I know it is hard, but you need to make a choice. Personally, I feel that he is only going to make your life harder and if you have the support of your family, you will be better off without him. It will be much easier for you and your child. This is only my opinion but I don’t know you or him and it is not any of my business. You should talk to your parents about what they think because if they are supportive, they could be your best allies in this situation.
I hope everything turns out best for you and your child.
You have probably matured a lot since you got pregnant because maternity does change women and they start thinking about the baby’s benefit. From your boyfriends’ behaviour, it seems that he still can’t draw the line and he still doesn’t understand the word responsibility. I don’ think that he will get this soon especially because he is father already. From his behaviour, I would say he may be still doing drugs. Has he been using cocaine? Sounds like cocaine user disappearing like that for days. Have you started living together?
I know it is hard, but you need to make a choice. Personally, I feel that he is only going to make your life harder and if you have the support of your family, you will be better off without him. It will be much easier for you and your child. This is only my opinion but I don’t know you or him and it is not any of my business. You should talk to your parents about what they think because if they are supportive, they could be your best allies in this situation.
I hope everything turns out best for you and your child.
well my parents would love to see me dump him. No I do not live with him I live with my parents, their letting me stay home until i can finish school and get my diploma. I am going to a school for teenage moms to get their diploma's and they can take their baby's there, there is a nursery next door where they are taken care of. And he wouldn't be doing cocaine it would be crystal meth.I don't think me being with him would benifit me at all. My parents would rather pay for everything and see me and my daughter grow up good than be with him. But its just impossible to accept the fact that I might not ever talk to him again. (oh and he still hasn't called ) but thanks so much for your advice!! and your right about everything it's just hard to accept him being gone.
I know that leaving him would be the hardest and you would suffer for some time, no questions asked. But believe me one thing, once this suffering is over and you get over him, you will just wonder how come you didn't do it sooner.
You are lucky to have supportive parents who are willing to help you. There is a saying "this too shall pass" and it is true. Just think of you and your child.
You are not able to see things my way (adult way :-)) because you are still young and haven't been through much but there are patterns in behaviours as well as relationships and breakups and you will get over him. Just surround yourself with good and supportive friends and family and everything will be just great. Good luck!
You are lucky to have supportive parents who are willing to help you. There is a saying "this too shall pass" and it is true. Just think of you and your child.
You are not able to see things my way (adult way :-)) because you are still young and haven't been through much but there are patterns in behaviours as well as relationships and breakups and you will get over him. Just surround yourself with good and supportive friends and family and everything will be just great. Good luck!
well sweetie, look at it like this. do you want your daughter growing up in a happy one parent home or living with a drug addict who is in and out her whole life and a mother who is miserable? i was 17 when i got pregnant and i'm now 23, i did it on my own because to me.. there was no other choice. i'd much rather see my son the way he is now then what would have been if his father and i woulda stayed together. i know your scared and you seem to have adjusted to the idea of motherhood quite well. if your family is supporting you in this, it will make it a lot easier. but you've got to look out for number 1, being your baby. you need to be honest with this guy and just tell him the truth and how you feel. tell him that once the baby is born you have no problem with him coming to see the baby, as long as he's clean. and try to keep things on a friendly level. if this man does decide to be in the baby's life, your stuck with him for the next 18 years at least. but you need to get away from this situation. the stress isn't healthy for you nor the baby. and it will hurt, bad, for a long time.. but it will pass. it's all part of the growing up process. i truly wish you and your daughter the best of luck!