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HOW TO PAINLESSLY BREAKUP WITH MY BOYFRIEND

By bpsinceiwas10230237 | 8 posts, last post
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bpsinceiwas10230237

PLEASE THINK ABOUT THE SITUATION RATIONALLY AND ADVISE WHAT WOULD BE BEST FOR MY BOYFRIEND after reading the whole thing. Have tried to make it as short as possible:

- I was diagnosed with major depression and then bipolar when I ten years old. And there is little chance for me to ever live a happy, apple-pie life.

- I used to also suffer from anorexia but not anymore.

- I met my boyfriend in high school and we have been inseparable since then. He has seen it all- my madness, the mood swings, my promiscuity- and taken things in their stride. He never makes me feel like he's making any sacrifices.

- I'm 21 now and he's 24. I'm going to start pursuing a graduate degree in 2013 and to facilitate that he has planned to moved with me to Cambridge (away from his older sister, who is his only family). He has also given up his dream job and taken up a work-from-home arrangement to smoothen the transition.

- His sister is very mad at me, though she never shows it when he is around. But in case I'm alone with her at her apartment, she says mean things to me about how my boyfriend deserves somebody better than me. She tells me I'm using her brother all the time. Also, she accuses me of "twisting his head up with a pretty face and a good frikkin'." Her reactions are very understandable and I think she is right in many ways.

- He deserves someone complete and healthy. And I feel like I just can't be right person for him. He's proposed to me twice and I have refused saying "We are too young right now."

- I have tried to break up with him before but he says things like "Stop trying to get rid of me" or "You don't really get it.. you're the one doing me a favor by sticking around". 

- He is physically stronger than me and whenever I try to fight with him and leave the house, he blocks the door or tries to hold me till I give up.

- I can't imagine life without him but I think I've been really selfish to be with him for over 7 years now.

- I don't want to hurt him but I think breaking up with him is the best way for him to lead a better life and to achieve the best that he deserves.

Please tell me how to go about this as painlessly as possible. Also, I have make sure he doesn't stop me from breaking up with him like always. 

Should I involve his sister in trying to breakup with him?

I'm really confused right now. Any help is very welcome. Thanks.

madbarbie190738

i completely understand your situatuion dear but please dont break up with him.unless he truly loves you he wont be doing so much for you n never ever lose a person who truly loves you.but i can suggest you 1 thng which i did.just make him independent and strong enough that he can handle his life all by himself even if you are not there.make him feel that you are with him despite that just make him more consious about him rather than you and let him start thinking about himself first n live his independent life.then after even if you breakup with him you will be sure enough that he can take care of himself which will make both of you happy.even my situation was similar to yours but now he learnt to live his life and sadly we are not together but i am happy that he is capable of taking care of himself which is more than enough for me but never lose your loved ones dear please cause we can hardly find true love for us again once we lose it.good luck n keep smiling
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bpsinceiwas10230237

hi, thank you so much. i have tried the whole you-need-to-be-able-to-live-without-me approach and he sees right through it. its really frustrating. but i keep feeling guilty all the time these days, especially after he's taken decisions of moving with me during my grad school. and i'm unable to communicate this to him. he treats me like a child when i try to be serious about the whole situation...
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SafeIsTheBest229916

I feel pity on the guy.. well he never gave up on you!, he never said that his tired on loveing you,your very lucky to have him.. he's sacrifices in the past will be wasted.. think of it girl!,, you'll miss a happy ending fairytale.. dont ever do such things that youll regret in the future.. but if you want to break up with him,, well its ur decision, there are no painless break-ups.. 
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Nic

you are being abused.  you should never be trapped in a house or a relationship with a guy.

 

you may have stockholm syndrome (look it up)  if someone won't let you go, they you are being abused through controlling behavior.

 

contact your local domestic violence hotline and ask them to help you get away from this person.  you can call national hotline and they will talk to you about anything and help you escape. 

 

also watch this video on loving what is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYy0CWpPEYo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTl7IshPVmk

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Guest

I'd love to have a boyfriend like that, someone who can do every thing for me n does nt restrict me in any way, girl u r really lucky!!!!!
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chatreze credo

my boyfriend was 15 years old and i'm 14 years old, when his sister working in butuan he secretly played me and when his sister is in there home he didn't played me, it's very painful but the truth is he didn't loves me anymore. you know i love him very much but him he played me, i'm crying with the painful he did it to me.

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Guest

Don't listen to anyone else but yourself.  You clearly don't want to be with him, and don't make excuses up.  You don't feel like your a good fit because you are not wanting him to come with you to Cambridge.  Maybe in the future it would be better to find someone you can help, instead of always having to be the one with the problems.  You may end up healthier in the end. 

If he can't accept your break-up, he's not a real man and needs to grow up. He is also fooling himself, because he should realize that you are not commited 100% to this relationship and no self-respecting person should out themselves in that position. 

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Guest

Do you love him? If so, why would you want to breakup with him, he obviously loves you.  You should respect his decision to want to be with you.  It is his decision to make.  You should make your decision based on how you feel towards him, and let him make his decision based on how he feels towards you.

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