My 73yo dad was dx about a month ago w/a very aggressive bladder cancer. We have since learned that it has eaten through to the back of the bladder wall, into the urethra, and into the surrounding muscle as well as the base of the penis - and possibly the intestinal wall. There isn't any real hope that he will be with us by the end of the year.
I live 12 hours away and haven't seen my dad for 6 years, though we talk on the phone fairly often. I need to go see him before he becomes too ill. The problem is that he is a chain smoker, and I am horribly allergic to smoke - one lungful will put me in bed for 3 weeks. He is so addicted that he can't even sit in a non-smoking section of a restaurant without getting up 4 or 5 times.
If I take him out somewhere so we can visit, I will feel selfish for taking him from his comfort zone - especially if he is not feeling well at that time. And I don't really want my last conversation with him to be in a restaurant or other public place. But if I don't do so, I will end up extremely ill myself.
I feel like I'm in a lose/lose situation! Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle this?
I live 12 hours away and haven't seen my dad for 6 years, though we talk on the phone fairly often. I need to go see him before he becomes too ill. The problem is that he is a chain smoker, and I am horribly allergic to smoke - one lungful will put me in bed for 3 weeks. He is so addicted that he can't even sit in a non-smoking section of a restaurant without getting up 4 or 5 times.
If I take him out somewhere so we can visit, I will feel selfish for taking him from his comfort zone - especially if he is not feeling well at that time. And I don't really want my last conversation with him to be in a restaurant or other public place. But if I don't do so, I will end up extremely ill myself.
I feel like I'm in a lose/lose situation! Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle this?