I can't cum during sex

As funny as it may seem, there's not really a prescription for what you should be thinking about.... only things NOT to be thinking about... that will worry you, stress you, distract you, or interfere now or later.

The idea is basically NOT to be thinking during sex... but relaxed and concentrating on sensation, and enjoying the feelings.

It's entirely possible that you're masturbating so often that you are blunting your response.... or certainly diminishing your desire to climax during your intercourse...

Try NOT masturbating for a week or so, and see if your response and performance with your girlfriend does improve.

Good luck.

If your girlfriend is your age, she's not cumming either. Women don't hit that stage usually until their mid 20's. I hate to tell youthis, but she's faking it. We all did at that age. Just don't stress yourself out. Try to relax. As soon as you do, it will happen. As far as what to think about, well pick something you fantasize about when you masturbate. Maybe the association will help. Oh, and of course use protection. You'll be glad you did.

I agree with most everything "Guest" says above.

As far as your girl "faking it".... that's quite an assumption for eshadey to make. I would trust your gf to tell you the truth. And, if you're not being satisfied, I suspect that you'd know if she was or not. If neither of you are, I don't think you'll be engaging in sex much more.... SOMEBODY's got to be enjoying this!

The key phrase is when you say "I just get worried when she is around".
THat probably is why you distract yourself. Relax, give yourself more time, and make sure you're in a friendly, non-pressured environment.
(NOT in the back seat of a borrowed car, while the parents are in the next room, or given only five minutes before the roomates come home.) :$

Good luck, and let us know how this works out for you.
And YES, use protection EVERY time! 8)

I am a girl, and I have never orgasmed during sex. I do when I finger myself, but not when my fiance touches me. Sure, it feels good, but he seems to assume all women like the same thing, and I've been slowly teaching him more about actually 'making love' than just 'having sex', if you get the difference, which is helping a lot in bringing me to climax.

For you, whether your girlfriend orgasms or not, it could be something physical (sort of like my situation above) or emotional (stressed, worried about being caught, feeling 'pressured' into it, etc.). Try taking a break (about a week or two, nothing extaordinarily long) before having sex again, and don't masturbate often. That typically makes the body more willing, and things can come easier for you then, and you may be able to relax more.

eshadey wrote:

helpmeoutplease!! wrote:

I can't cum during sex, i had sex for the first time about 2 months ago. I am a 17 year old guy. Me and my girlfriend have sex around 8-10 times..not really sure and every time i can never cum, she does but i don't. I can when i masturbate by myself but i think i just get worried when she is around. I just want to know why i can't cum. and what i should and shouldn't think about during sex.
Thanks!!

If your girlfriend is your age, she's not cumming either. Women don't hit that stage usually until their mid 20's. I hate to tell youthis, but she's faking it. We all did at that age. Just don't stress yourself out. Try to relax. As soon as you do, it will happen. As far as what to think about, well pick something you fantasize about when you masturbate. Maybe the association will help. Oh, and of course use protection. You'll be glad you did.

I'm sorry, but that's a lie. I came at age 14. (I know, I know, it was way to early to have sex).

eshadey wrote:

helpmeoutplease!! wrote:

If your girlfriend is your age, she's not cumming either. Women don't hit that stage usually until their mid 20's. I hate to tell youthis, but she's faking it.

Sorry but I am almost 17 and I can tell you I definitely come when me and my boyfriend have sex.

and dont feel to bad me and my fiance went at it for 3 and a half hours i still did not cum

like everyone else is saying i believe in your case its about relaxing. Do you practice foreplay? If not it might be a problem you both need it to get in the "zone". If you do try doing more making it longer start slow simple kissing and touching and go from there. Try finding other things that with help you relax to like maybe the place your doing it creates tension for you even try incense if you can or candles anything to set the atmosphere and get you both comfortable. I hope this helps best of luck to ya :-|

Hi, I'm 23 years of age and I have the same problem with not cumming during sex, even with my first partner that Ive ever had sex with sense I was 20 years old Ive always had this problem. I dont know if its a mental thing or if I have a problem with something but I can cum when I masturbate but with the different partners Ive had and now with my girlfriend I still have the problem.

I guess you are so young to cum, women who can cum are mature. (27-30-40)

I am 34 years old and have been sexually active since I was 13. I am very good looking, confident, and am not nervous during sex. During my late teens, early twenties I could honestly walk into a club and bring home just about anyone I wanted to. I have no idea how many women I have slept with, but I know it's well over 100 women. I have been in sexual relationships with women I loved deeply and have even had sex with cheap h****rs. I have screwed fat girls and models. In all of my sexual experiences, I can only remember cumming 2 times. Once was a random bathroom hookup during spring break, once was with a girlfriend I was with for almost 2 years. I am a man who loves sex and I have to fake orgasms. I am only now seeking professional help with my sexual issues. I have been a sex addict since the first time I found a dirty magazine when I was a kid. I knew right away that sex is what I wanted. Listen to me brother. You are 17 years old. You have your whole life ahead of you. Go talk to a doctor about this now. Do not wait until you are 34 like I did. It could be an issue that you dealt with as a kid. Not necessarily a sexual issue. Your shrink will explain this in more detail.With all due respect, the people on this thread obviously do not have this issue. The advice they are giving you is not accurate. It looks like you are heading in the right direction by already reaching out for help with this matter.

I am studying psychology and the reason I stumbled across this thread is because I am researching information for cross and co addictions. Many people who have the condition for some reason or another turn into sex and and meth addicts. DONT DO DRUGS!  

I am 32 years and have the same problem. I've never been able to get an orgasm from intercourse, and I don't have any problems while masturbating. I've tryed all kinds of things recommended to me by doctors and friends, like sextherapy, laying of masturbation, using fleshlights instead of using my hand for masturbation, roleplaying and so forth.. None of those things has helped me. Was even considering a prostate massager, but I'm not a fan of getting things up that way. Might even have to try it to test and see if it would work... I do have another things I've heard might work, and that's hypnotherapy. I'm considering trying it out very soon, and i can repost in here if it helped.

this is BS. I'm a 21 year old guy that has had sex with multiple women (never been in a relationship) and I have the same problem (finding it extremely difficult to cum during sex), every single girl I've ever laid (youngest being 15 (me being 17 at the time) and the oldest being 28); I've left with shaking legs and lips, and I've never had sex without being (enthusiastically) complemented for "knowing what I'm doing", I've lost count on the times I've heard "that was the first time I've ever had an orgasm inside, I've only ever been able to cum with my clit", I've actually had to sleep on my couch after a girl squirted my bed wet. my point is that just because you faked it until you were 40 does not mean all girls are so unlucky that they don't find guys that are good in bed. and shut the f**k up about giving guys sex tips to help THEM have better sex, by all means give them tips on how to satisfy women better but you have absolutely no idea what it's like to be a guy that can't cum or can't get hard or have other sexual problems that men experience. if there's one thing that annoys me, it's when people think they're experts on subjects they have no experience on; in your case you can't physically experience it (unless you're a transsexual) so you don't have any creditable way to back up your BS theories/claims. now to reply to the original post: I have a few advises -to begin with (note: this is just if you always have sex with the same girl): very unlike what eshadey said, don't use condoms; get her on birth control. condoms stretch on your penis so you always have an uncomfortable tied sensation around it and you don't don't feel any wet (even if there's lube) so you might just as well be jerking off. -avoid masturbation (just avoid touching your penis if you're not peeing or cleaning the junk), -try not to think of your girl as "your girl" while having sex, just think of her as a sex doll, you can talk dirty to and reacts to your touch. -don't be worried about waiting for her to cum, if you feel you're about to cum, do it because otherwise you'll repress the orgasm down and it'll take you hours to find it again (and that is just if you're lucky enough to actually find it again), if I understand your problem correctly, she'll end up having orgasms more often than you anyway. -don't have sex while drunk (or under the influences of any kinds of drugs) unless you like having sex without cumming -last but definitely not least; get your girl to do something exciting, like dressing up as a slutty nurse or handcuffing you to your bed or whatever you find attractive. make her understand that just casual sex with you lying on top of her going in and out doesn't do anything for you.

i have the same problem... im 19 goin on 20 and i can get hard and what not its just i feel like when i have sex ( i have multiple times) i cant cum. but i can when i masterbait... im worried that i cant or ever will be able to climax with anyone... help u..u