I Have A Major Masturbating Issue/Problem and I'm Really Worried and Scared.

Hey guys,

i'm so worried about this, this will probably be a long post, but i have so many problems in this area i can't explain...

Just to get the basics out though, i am 15 years old and i started puberty early on (i think) when i was about 10, 11, 12 (somewhere around that age, can't exactly remember)

But i do have major problems and don't know where to start and think you should prepare yourself before reading about some of the weird stuff i'm about to ask about....

Lets start here....


Recently i have been feeling incrediabely down and depressed and fed up with my life to be honest.

The girl i loved soo much, i'm not even sure if i love anymore. I end up worrying that i am gay even though there is no way i can be since i fancy girls.

But what really confuses me is this, i can fancy a girl and realy love them and feel a huge attraction towards them. But like i have no sex drive at all and can't really say i have done. I find boobs attractive like i like the way they look and stuff. But to be honest, nothing like this has ever made me like gain an erection, even if it feels like it should, it doesn't, i may feel like it is erect but it's not. But what i don't understand is, why don't i get it? Why do i not have a huge urge to have sex with someone or do anything like that like all my friends do and the ones that have done stuff talk about it. It just doesn't appear that attractive to me, and the thought of it or looking at them or anything to do with sexual stuff like porn or anything just does not switch it up, and is this normal? What is wrong with me? Can it be fixed? But like a weird fetish (explain further down) i have use to be able to switch me on but even that can be a struggle sometimes now. What do i do?

What is wrong with meee? Where do i get help? What do i doo?

Also it's just i have no idea really, like when watching porn or something like that for example, it can feel like it is getting an erection or i feel like it is going up, but nothings happening. And it has always been like this. Like porn or thinking like that has never done anything for me at all. And it really worries me when it comes to things like the bedroom, i don't wanna really embarras myself by not being able to perform even if i want too. Like before i have had a girl play with my penis and it done nothing. :/ So what do i doo?

It just worries me the way i can enjoy watching porn but it does nothing!!! and that this other thing i have like super weird fetish can immediately turn me on, like a video of it or thinking about it sometimes.

But before i even get on to that (sorry for the long post) when i do masturbate, it's not even normal. If you familar on these forums you may have seen the problem before, like where you lie down and rub your penis up and down and around a soft surface, like the floor and sometimes i may feel the need to clinch onto a towel and squeeze it, and maybe flap my legs up. And to be perfectly honest, whenever i masturbate like this it feels amazing, and whenever i try the normal method, it feels nothing like it and does nothing for me at all!!! This is what worries me when a girl may like try and wank me off or something and nothing will happen. Or it will feel like it works, but it's not, if yanoe what i mean, like it feels like my penis is erect but it's not. Like you feel something released inside my body but nothing happens. And because these problems are weird, i can find absolute nothing on the internet!!! Which is very depressing to be honest.

Now, down to this weird fetish thing, i'm not even sure if it is a fetish to be honest, this is all i have ever masturbated off too (not that i do it normally) it is likeee, whenever i see a girl in a bikini or tight clothing that i likee (turn on), if i see them naked (turn off) but what really does it, is if they are swimming underwater or holding there breath or something, even if i don't want an erection it will just turn me on really to be honest, and even there are some like stunt videos on the internet type thing, of girls drowning or fighting or something, that really does it for me, and never really i can say has ever failed to give me an erection.

Which is what worries me, that never fails, porn always does.

Makes me dead worried, i feel soo f****d up in the head!!! and have no idea where to start or how to fix or what the problem is, so came here for maybe a bit of help?

Even if i'm totally honest, i just have no idea at all how to go about masturbating normally, like the basics, like how to do it exactly? What is foreskin, do i have it? Apparently i'm not circumcised but i don't know what foreskin is if someone could explain, i feel like such an id**t to be honest. So even these few questions would be a start, how do i do it? what is foreskin? and also, whenever i do manage to masturbate like the normal way, when my penis like gets erect, if i keep masturbating it feels like i will tear the skin, which concerns me, so i have to stop before it even feels good or like anywhere near something happening. Which makes me think i'm doing something wrong, basically how i do it, i use my hand and rub it up and down. or play with like the top part of my penis or something. But if i push my penis right back and rub it against my stomach area, i get a type feeling i would if i was doing it like on the carpet or something.

So what really bothers me, is i have never masturbated the normal way, or know really how to. This weird problem i have, is it a fetish or a problem? Also girls legs really turn me on to, like just the legs nothing else, otherwise it turns me off again? So wtf? i have had fantasies where i'm basically shagging there leg? But what concerns me the most, is the fact that porn does nothing for me at all!!!! like my penis doesn't go erect naturally like it does when compared with my say fetish type problem? The idea of licking out, or being sucked off doesn't do anything, i just feel nothing really to be honest.

So what do i doo?

Sorry for the extremely long post. I'm soo worried and scared and i feel it's putting me on a huge downer and depressed :-(

can anyone please lend some sort of advice, even if it's pratically nothing?

.....

Thanks everyone for your help.