ok so i"am 14 soon to be 15 in February. and what the kids at my school call me emo.now i have great friends and a amazing boyfriend who try and help me stop but its hard i also pop pills to help with the pain and to get high i have tried to kill myself two times but field thank god is what my boyfriend said. now i have a loving father that i see every other weekend and i'm being raised by loving people but they don't get me or understand me the women who is like my mother gets mad to eys i cant talk to her with out getting grounded so i don and maybe i'm keeping to much inside and i got mother problems my mother use to beat me till i got older ans stop seeing her we haven't talk into years when i was 13 i had a boyfriend that hit me not a lot but was pushy about sex lied and cheated and tried to rape one of my friends.i have a hard time in school and am worried i'll be like my mom a teenage drop out druggy mom and that scares me i'am so stashed out and and scared and the boy i'm dating is 17 soon to be 18 and i'am 14 almost 15 and my dad found out and i'am so worried he'll tell my garden and she will flip and tare us apart. what should i do i don't know how much more i can take.