How did your dad recover?
When i entered gradeschool i new something is wrong with my father. He has this hallucinations. He talks all by himself, he laughs all by himself, when he hears somebody talking he thinks hes the topic so he replied with rude statements, of course people was wondering why is he like that even our relatives. I remembered he got totally insane he gets a large knife and threatens my uncle, my uncle runs while my father is chasing him with a knife. my mother was slammed in the metal door by my father. all of that because he was crazy. He's always right and when he gets mad he curses and shout. He wants to be in the house. Im an only child and living like this is hell for me. And because we have no money to bring him to a mental facility my mother just takes it all. He thinks he is normal. My close relative even stayed away from us. My childhood im isolated to my cousins in my fathers side coz my father has this condition. Im so jelous of my classmate coz their fathers are normal, I can't bring classmate at home coz my father doesn't want to hear voices. When i brought my friends at home my fathers heard us chatting and then the craziness happens he thinks we are talking about him. He Gets angry and curses my friends i'm so ashamed. One night he said someone is trying to kill him he wakes me up and my mother and when i checked no one is trying to kill him hes just paranoid. When someone chats loud outside the road and he heard it he will reply like a crazy man. i want to put a banner on our gate saying dont talk loud a crazy man is living here. We doesn't talk about it coz he thinks he's normal. He will get angry if you dish out on him or corrected him. Even correcting him makes him angry and curses you even physically. Now i think i'm paranoid to for almost 20 years im 29 now i know our community knows im the son of a crazy man. Now i have a family also living in the same house with my dad i didnt tell my partner that my dad was crazy coz im afraid. But my dad did all the job as usual my dad says rude things to my partner and she can't take it. He basically ruins everything that i have. I feel numbed i can't cry anymore. I told my mother to do something but i realize she has a crazy man as a partner for 29years a monument is not enough for her sacrifices and patience. I writing it down with a heavy heart when will my life be a life. He's my father and i loved him but i'm hopeless as a person all the trauma that i had my life is ruined. I've been isolated by my relatives coz my father is troublesome and i can't lift up my families reputation he keeps making trouble with his siblings. I've accepted the fact that i'm going down with him i'm his only son maybe this is my fate. maybe in due time i will be like him crazy sometimes i want to kill myself than living this crazy life.
I'm about 99.9% sure my father is a schizophrenic, but he's never been diagnosed. He hears things, smells things that aren't there, he thinks people are after him and that everyone in our city is in on it. He makes connections between random things that revolve around him and attacks my mom verbally whenever she refuses to acknowledge his evidence. His evidence makes no sense, it's jumbled thoughts and ideas. He also has the other symptoms like slow response time, lack of energy, and expressionless voice. My grandfather was bipolar and committed suicide before I was born and I've recently been diagnosed with autism. Now I'm terrified of what kind of disorder I'll give my children because autism, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder share the same brain signature.
I feel as if I'm falling apart.
I totally understand what you mean my initial google search was can my schizophrenic father ever love me after reading a lot of people’s storys this is what best describes my dad arrogant and thought everybody else was so stupid it’s so hard to explain