I have been in an on and off relationship with a bp person for 6 years. When i first met him i saw something disturbing in his eyes, my intuition told me - something was wrong and during the 6 years I found out what exactly. He is very insightful, deep, talented musically, speaks several languages, but some things in his behavior raised red flags that i chose to ignore. The first red flag - he told me after the first couple of nights we spent together that the only lasting relationship in his life that he was comfortable with was one with a married lady whom he lied to he was married as well. As soon as her husband died and she became completely available, the relationship became impossible for him to sustain. He claims hes unable to live with anyone or have a girlfriend. We fell in love end he ended up moving in with me since he claimed I was the love of his life and if he didnt try with me, he wouldnt be able to do it with anyone else. We were constantly fighting because of his insecurities, his obsessive jelousy and parnoia i was cheating on him. Eventually his behavior made him so unatracctive that i started finding other men, more stable, successful and harmonious more attractive. We separated several times but always kept in touch. Every time i started dating someone, he was texting me nonstop as if he smelled i was on the way of finding happiness with someone else. the intensity of our emotions and amazing sex life, even though it involved some very perverted fantasies ( they only stayed as fantasies since i was uninterested in turning them into reality, he told me he had executed them in the past with the married lady and it never stopped bothering me ). Other red flags and indications i suspect he is bipolar : he would have no problem raising his voice and yelling in the middle of the street, he had to leave a fashion show i invited him to once and introduced to my friends without saying goodbye to anyone ( when i came home that night he was in bed totally unaware that there was anything wrong with his behavior, his sister is diagnosed schitzophrenic and has been institusionalized most of her life, there are 3 cases of schitzophrenia in his immediate family. his mother was so depresse at the age of 20 that all her hair fell out and she's been wearing a wig since very young age, he would be on the way to see me for dinner or to go out but suddenly change his mind, get off the bus and go home, he would run out of my house like a wounded animal because he "just needed to go". i was so confused of this madness and frustrations turned into me drinking and having violent fights with him. He told me that he is unable to commit to being my husband or boyfriend but wants to be together for Valentines for te rest of our lives, which is a very romantic and sweet idea and we have been together for every Valentines for 6 years. But one day of happiness and bliss, followed by about a week of very pleasant relationship - i love yous, calling to wish good night and good morning, convinced that our relationship will work, a day comes where he is unsure, its too much for him to handle and he doesnt want a girlfriend but to be just friends. Finally, just a week ago after thinking he was a horrible, evil, selfish person who has no problem hurting another, i started reading about bp and recognizing symptoms. He also has muscle spasms, talks really loud, needs coffee in the morning and falls right back asleep, quits and picks up on smoking weed and cigarettes, drinks  during the bad phases, blames me for cheeting on him ( mind you he is the one pushing me away and telling me to go find someone normal), tells me i am the crazy one because i havent found anyone normal, the only friends he has are either alchoholics or strange characters ( with the exception of his middle school friends he sees once a year). He even canceled my trip to Spain to see him, with the tickets already booked, just because he was overwhelmed. This is a first time in 20 years hes had a stable job and its too overwhelming to have a job and a relationship. I still love him, because Ive always been very strong and beleive i can help him, but only if he gets psychological help. He is either uninterested or unable to admit his problems, saying he might just be an odball and a loner. I am loosing my own sanity, crying and feeling helpless and uncertain there was ever any love involved, just the manic phase of needing affection.

The last thing he wrote to me about being unable to have a normal relationship was this as far as relationships go: " I find them, i f--k them and i leave them, cause dont fall in love and if i do and they are single i cant take the pressure. the only ones i felt comfortable with are the ones cheating on their husbands and they just want the moment". This is after 6 years of "love" and flaring and fleeting feelings

These words hurt me so much that Ive felt physically sick for the last 3 days, drank a bottle of wine for 3 days, didnt exercise for 3 days and left him very mean messages. I do not like what im becoming being in a proximity or loving this man, but i can not loose my sanity , my always positive attitude, bright smile and good energy because of a person who doesnt wish to recognize and address his problems. Does anyone else recognize the signs of bipolar from the story just told...