That was a cool post! I couldn't resist a reply.
I'm still on a natural high from personal pride that I'm beating these things. Beating my past record for being clean and totally confident this time. I thought it would take a rehab program to get me off of them. I was that bad. Reading all I can about PAWS to get my strategy in order.
Hope you are still feeling ok. Never give up on yourself.
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Still going strong here! I'm going to beat it this time.
Now, for the reason I started on the beasties. I do have a serious injury and need some sort of pain management. NSAIDs are not an option. Did them for over 20 yrs and got the intestinal bleeding. Even one aspirin or aleve makes me sick now.
Can I get an honest opinion on pot? I have nothing against it, but tried it waaaay back in the 70s and it just made me sleepy - Old geezer here :)
I'm wondering if just a puff or two in the evening would be enough. I don't want to spend the $400 for the medical card to find out it doesn't help at all so need an honest opinion.
I'm preparing some options as I don't want the pain issue to tempt me to go back to the pills.
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Thank you for the honest opinion USblues. It's worth a shot. I do need something and my options are limited. Like anything, moderation is key. I'll let you know if it's the answer for me. It sounds like it doesn't interfere with your life like the pills do.
Well, personal victory - one week sober with no withdrawals! I'm confident this is really the last time.
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Yes, at least we can grown the pot. Can't get much cheaper than that! And I like the fact it is natural and I can use only as little as it takes. Your opinion on it sounds like a good alternative for my pain management. Now, just to figure out where to get some
Get churchy on me any time. It was strange, but I talked to my sis last night about my battle and quitting. She is somewhat agnostic, but told me out of the blue it can only be the hand of God touched me because she knows what a tough case I am. The first thing I thought of when she said that is the prayers you have said for me must be working. I have been and will do the same for you.
Love success stories. Those have helped so much. After 30 days, 6 months, one year I will keep checking back here to encourage everyone. PAWS is unknown territory for me. I'm hoping that having Imodium on hand and using that will work. I assume that PAWS makes you feel like you are starting over, but it does go away, right? I've heard it's worse than original w/d's. Do you think Imodium will work? The unknown world of PAWS scares me the most, knowing it can hit out of the blue, so keeping imodium in my purse is a must. I'm going to study all on it I can. Know thine enemy.
You give in once in a while, but I know you are going to have your final fight with it and win. I can feel it is soon for you. No, I don't get tired of hearing you are starting over. At least you don't give up. Thank God you have a supportive wife and two beautiful children. Think of the ex as a weed in your garden. Exes eventually get a life and she will get bored harassing you.
Prayers and positive vibes sent your way.
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If you can, go right to the drug store on payday and get at least a few loperamide to keep on hand and maybe take a few to get the upper hand on temptation. Maybe buy a small Christmas gift early for your son. Take loperamide whether you feel withdrawals or not and see if that can keep you from giving in. Not telling you what to do, just suggestions that may help if you feel ready. Sorry to hear your work has been so physical lately. Hope that has changed since your last post. I know exactly how hard it is to resist when the pain pills are there in front of you and available. When you really in the right place mentally, it is doable. I know the other times I gave in I really wasn't ready so I don't think less of you when it's off and on. No one in this world understands unless they've been on that ride. I don't take much Imodium now, thank goodness as I'm clueless to what large doses do to the body. This time, my husband got my script filled a few days ago and I haven't hit him up for any. I actually forgot he has them. Told him to stash them in case of emergency injury or something. It's a relief the way you described PAWS. I think I can handle PAWS by taking Imodium and psyche myself out of needing them. I don't care if I use a crutch. Anything but going back is ok with me. Don't want to lose any ground I've covered as this is the longest I've ever gone without. Not even counting days anymore so that's a good sign :). Thanks for your help. You have given me just the right amount of nudging to keep me going. I'm here every day checking if you need encouragement and of course, daily prayers which have made all the difference.
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Today started out good, but it is the first day I've had some w/d's. Maybe because I cut back on Imodium the last two days. Didn't give in to it even though I felt it all day. It's been over a week. That's too much time to throw out the window. Now I know where the phrase "one day at a time" comes from. I tell myself just get through today, and it'll go away by tomorrow. I just now took a bunch of Imodium and starting to feel better. Maybe I lost the build up of Imodium in my system. Anything to get through it. Have to share with you and everyone that there are rough patches, but we can do this. Might have to keep the dosage up for at least a couple of weeks before I taper off Imodium. Will post tomorrow how it goes. Not. Giving. In.
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Doing just fine today - back on a good role. If you are using a crutch like the Imodium, extra vitamins, anything, don't make rapid changes. Lesson learned. Still need Imodium, just a little less. I will taper slowly. Confidence is back. Things are looking good again :)
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Still making it. Over 2 wks now. I don't want to discourage anyone, but I had withdrawal episodes my second week and none the first. Stocked up on more Imodium and everything is back to no w/d's. Like I said below, I tried to wean off Imodium too soon. Still checking out options for pain management.
Today my doctor's office called for a follow up appointment. I turned them down. Small victory !!! Yay!! Outside of buying lots of Imodium, I may actually have some money to celebrate the holiday.
No withdrawals at all now. I have been taking large doses of the pain med for years without any breaks, so it's taking my system a while to detox. Just take more Imodium. I hate to, but for now, whatever it takes, I'm going to do to beat this. I'm winning this time!
Check in when you can usblues.
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Happy Thanksgiving!
Just like you, I've always said if they were over the counter, I would never quit. Just got sick and tired of spending the money to see the dr and jumping through the hoops to get them. And sometimes the paper written script gets here late or the pharmacy doesn't have enough and I have to drive around to four different pharmacies. Now, I don't have health insurance and spending $200 for them. That was my incentive. I've always been afraid they won't be available for us someday with regulations cracking down and I am a stubborn codger, wanting to choose when to quit, not have someone else tell me when to quit. It terrified the hell out of me that one day I'd call in a refill and they would turn me down. I also got tired of showing withdrawal symptoms at work when I'd run out and people thought I was sickly...or those who knew without saying :)
That's sad with your job. It's always been my dilemma. I know exactly how that is to work a painful job because one I had before would bring me to tears until I could afford to go to the dr and get these. That's how I started the habit and went through the debate every month if I stay on them or not. Now I have a desk job, but can't exercise properly without the pills. I need to find a substitute. Have hopes for the other option we talked about.
I'm like you too with smoking. I admit I enjoy it and don't plan to quit. I got around the expense issue with bagged tobacco and a nice $40 Top tube filling machine that paid for itself the first week. $1.00 per pack. Good thing I'm not an alcoholic when my only reason for quitting a bad habit is $$$$. Well, money does have a trickle down effect into all the other parts of your life. If pills were only $30 and always available I would get some now and then. To me, the pills rank way lower than alcohol - not impairing or life altering. It's strictly the cost of them and not enough available. At least we can smoke all we want and nobody tells us we can't get any for a week!!
My mom, husband, and sister know. That's it. They helped the first week, then got tired of hearing about it or thought I should be over it by then. So, you are the only one on my side through this long process. The horrible storms in your area have been on the news even here. Hope you all get stuffed tomorrow and stay warm. For thanksgiving, you are on my list of friends to be thankful for. I am making pumpkin pies - make the house smell so good!
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Oh, forgot to ask how the playoff hockey game went? I know it's kind of trite, but as long as he played his best...
Hockey isn't big here in the rain forest climate. I did live in the Midwest and got into it a bit with the St Louis Blues.
He sounds like a great kid. Think of all the useless activities other kids do and he is into something that takes dedication and is all around healthy for him both physically and mentally.
Have a great holiday!
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