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Hello. I am a girl 17 years old, and I would like to hear your opinion about something. Do you think that "making love" and having sex is the same thing? Is it the same to both males and females? Do you think that there is no difference if you are having sex with the person you love or with some dude (chick) you picked up in a bar? What do you think?
i have oenly ever done it with my gf and its special because we love each other
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Of course it matters. If you had experienced it with the person you love (and it is a great possibility that you didn't), you wouldn't be asking this. When you have sex with any other person, who is just hot, but nothing more, you feel exited, and it really feels good. Now add a lot of expectations, hope, love in that. You get a strong mix of passion and lust. Believe me, it is better!
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Ladies, I'm gonna spill some secrets. Honestly, from a guy's point of view, when we have "sex" with a random bar floozie the only person we care about is ourself, such as whether or not we enjoy it and get off. When "making love" to someone you care about, however, there is concern for the partner. We want to please a partner we care about. However, we might also "f**k" someone we care about. While "making love" is often soft, tender, sweet, and passionate, "f*****g" is hot, sweaty, hard, rough, and animalistic.
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I ve been with the same man for 4 years. He does not like to kiss and when we attempt this his lips are stiff and closed. Do men have a fear of kissing? I find kissing very intimate and do not understand how I should be reacting to this.
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There is a huge difference between sleeping with someone you love and sleeping with someone you are just attracted to/lust after. Sex is very emotional, so when you are sleeping with someone you love... there is that huge emotional factor attached to it. When you're sleeping with someone you just met or don't know very well there is only the physical aspect of it. Theres not a great of a connection between the two of you.
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Okay it's like this, making love is not always a physical thing, that's where we always get caught up is in the physical. 1st of all if you're not married your not authirized, no offense, but that's just my opinion. On the other hand sex, is just plum selfish. No Feelings, no cares, no name, just a continual cycle of unsatifaction, and what I mean by this is that, you'll always want more of it and never be satisfied. You have to be in love to make love, not only care for someone but, genuine love. I can have sex all day and never give a c**p about the person that I'm being intimate with, but when you love someone one, there's a huge difference in the physical stature of love making or just knocking boots to get your rocks off. What feels good to you aint always good for you. Food for thought.
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Hey, sleeping in the same bed with someone day after day, night after night... develops a level of trust and expectation that one night stands do not.

While someone above (DoctorIsIn) claims that sex with a floozie is just about themselves, some men approach this differently. SOME men cannot make love... they can only "have sex"... and it doesn't matter much who they are with. This is what they mean when they tell their gf that sex with that other girl "didn't mean anything". (cause it was "just sex".) It doesn't have any future, it was just for the moment.

Now, in our culture, we tend to use the expression "making love" as interchangable with "having sex" or "f*****g" or "screwing" or "doing the wild thing" or a host of other expressions.

But it sounds like the young lady who started this thread DOES make a distinction between "Making Love" and having "sex"...and that's what matters. Women need to feel loved to be aroused and responsive... and they get there by "making love". Men need to be aroused, and can get to that state much faster by more direct stimulation: sight, touch, thought, smell, hearing, etc.

Has this helped? %-)
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although your post is very insightful, Kirk C, i have to say that women need to "have sex," too. we, too, like the wild side of sex. i'm not saying you're wrong by any means, i just feel the need to point out that women are just as aroused by sight, touch, smell, etc. we like sex for sex...for me, it's so hot being with the one that i love.

--just playing devil's advocate.
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This is not true AT ALL. I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 and a half years. We love each other deeper than a lot of married people do. You cannot say that being married authorizes you to make love, that is not true. Making love is about the person you are with. It is about loving that person, people can love others and connect with them whether or not they are married.



Making love is more sensual. It is about being close to someone else. It is about feeling them, understanding them. Sex is about the physical. It is about touching, grabbing, etc. They are not the same. Making love is soft and tender than sex.
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Ive done bar one night stands, and its all it is, just sex, getting off, some years ago

But Ive made love with my other half
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i understand this post was originally made in 2007 but recently i wanted some insight on what others thought about what classifies "making love" so i googled "making love vs sex" and this thread popped up.
Heres my POV:
I am a 24 year old female who has slept with 18 men so far. Regularly, not at the same time. only about 5 of those are one night stands. and out of the million times i have had sex i can honestly say i have only "made love" 3 times. 2 with the same man. and both of those men that i have experienced this connection with, i was truly in love with. Do i think thats a factor? i think a definite part of it.
Sex:
It feels good. But like others have said in this post, it is very much physical. Theres kissing, theres touching, but its strictly just for getting off. My boyfriends and i had sex 3-4 times a week and it was all just sex. You get off. It feels great. Come back for more later. have fun. but thats all it is. sex is just sex.
Making Love:
Its beyond words. It cannot be replicated, you cannot try to recreate the moment again. Its physical but its also very much emotional. Its so passionate that your breathing feels like its in sync. Everything else melts away and its just you two stuck in the moment. Every move feels right. Its how every first time should be, but isn't and thats what makes it so wonderful once its felt. Its a bond that you share like you're not just looking into his eyes, you two are truly looking into each other. every touch feels like the first time because there is so much passion involved. And not one person feels it, it is mutually felt. Its so uplifting that afterwards all you want to do is lay in each other's arms to savor the moment. Knowing that this experience you just felt won't come again for a while and possibly not with another person. It brings you closer. You both feel it in your heart that this encounter was on a definite higher level than just sex. Every kiss, every touch, every caress is meaningful, heartfelt, emotional and very passionate. if you weren't sure if you were in love before the experience, you will very much fall in love after the experience. it would be so hard not to.
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I think there is a huge difference. Making love is with someone you truly love. Having sex in my mind is just with someone, like your having sex with someone that doesn't mean the world to youu. Making love to someone is the way it should be :-)
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I know its very late to reply for this messages, for what purpose it may serve to others, i just want to give some thoughts about it. I'm very much in love with my husband, we've been married for 9months now and we are engaged with sex since 2007, and his the only person i've done it with.. Women can tell the difference between you guys having "just sex" and "making love". Because its more than the satisfaction for yourself but in making love you try to cover the emotional bond between the two of you which was compromised due to some sad realities that you are facing everyday.

Like in my situation, he is working abroad, the external factors that might affect our relationship are evident everyday.. So whenever we have sex, i always try to feel the trust rather than the thrusts. Thanx for reading..

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lol i really enjoy this topic. but making love. it deals with a bunch of emotion between you and  the one you love dearly. its more passionate and less rough and crazy. Its the feeling of really being with the person you really love and wanna cherish the moment.Now as for just sex. sex lol thats like ima grab any person i want and pull a quicky. thats sex. i prefer makin love. lol

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