My 14 year old daughter having sex

every take a deep breath.

sex is bound to happen.

if you talk to your kids and let them know the good things and the bad things that come from sex.

and let them make there own decision, 9/10 they wont want to disappoint there mom or dad.

they are teenagers, the only ones to blame is the parents, for being "afraid" to talk to there kids about sex.

serves some right.

i have 3 kids all in college, senior, sophomore, and freshman. we talked to them about sex when they hit 13.

they always talk to us openly.

and guess what?.........

they all have had sex, but my 2 daughters got on birth control.

my son, has had sex and realizes what he needs to do to be a responsible senior in college.

the point is, if you as a parent are scared to talk to your kids, shame on you.

but when they go get knocked up or knocks someone up, its your fault for not talking to them.

parents need to realize sex is a part of life, that is a gift. and it is are job as parents to teach them whats right.

Let them do what they want, it's their life and they'd soon enough find out what's going to happen at some point. That's what my math teacher always told us and it's the best thing yet I've heard. I totally disagree with Teenmom17. I agree with the quote though.

Well its obviously clear that Kamikazi is either Male, doesn't have kids or just far too young to realize, and as for the math teacher tell me what school so i know not to send my kids there.

just keep you nose out and leave her/ them alone..

stop over reacting , heart racing, tight chest... WTF.

kids dont like to thing about parents having or have had sex. !! just ignor it..

you havent thought about the bigger picture, masterbation, oral sex, love , effection...... the world of a teen isnt something parents should be privy too..

stop digging and reacting stupidly. give her HONEST ADVICE IF SHE ASK's

other wise keep you nose out

Guest,
I'm not giving out any of my information over the Internet to strangers.

Well Im sorry you disagree with my opinion. But Ive been through it and IF you let them LEARN ON THERE OWN they will suffer for the rest of there lives. Parents are supposed to be guiders for the children (GUIDANCE)is the only thing that will get a child through ruff PEER PRESSURE) times in their lives.

I feel your pain... My 14 y/o daughter has had her first longer term BF for the last 4 months (FOREVER in teenage years). Though I have a rule she can't freely date until she is 16 y/o; I do allow them to go to the movies if I drive or his parents drive both ways. Nothing alone. I am fortunate that he seems to be very sweet and caring THANK GOD. But she came to me this morning crying hysterically. Said I have to tell you something.. OMG I thought she was going to say she was pregnant. The thought of her having sex is AWFUL AWFUL but to cry so hysterically??!! Well after some prodding I finally got some yes or no answers out of her and it was that she had sex. She had lied to me about going to the movies one night when his parents drove and she went to his house instead. I guess I knew it was coming, I have been talking to her about the ins and outs of having sex, drugs, lying, stealing, and everything else that we deem completely unacceptable and unlawful. I think the guilt of lying to me about her whereabouts is what won out here. I am not floored, but none the less completely disappointed and sickened. I love her so much and I want her to be happy and to do anything she cannot handle emotionally before her time, well, too late for that now. Brandee, I plan on calling her doctor to see what type of Birth Control will work best for her and what will work with her other medications, I am considering Implanon as it is implanted 1 time and last 3 years! I am not sure what to do about the BF as I already do not allow her to be here at our house with him and not at his house either. Ya can see how that worked out for me. I will still allow her to go to the movies with him, but I will do the driving to and from, from now on. I may not be able to stop them, but I will certainly not provide a place or many opportunities for it to happen. I was 16 y/o my first time and survived my teens so I have to hope that with some direction and many more frustrating conversations and confrontations, we will survive her teens too... God help us all ....

wow. your poor daughter.

I am a 14 years old male and I don't think you should keep her from seeing him, especialy if they are really in love. Have a talk with her. My mom tells me:" I don't know when you'll do it or if you have already done it but just tell us and will help you get condoms." Not that it doesn't bother her, it's just that she doesn't want me or a girl to have problems and/or being a 14 years old dad. She knoes that she wouldn't be able to do anything about it. I never had sex but I figure she wouldn't be very happy either but I know she would help me.

Im sorry but no 14 year old knows what LOVE is. And an older guy with a younger girl doesnt know what LOVE is they just want SEX. So all of you young girls AND guys on here trying tot ell these parents that they just need to let there daughter go out there and have as much sex as she wants is dumb. I know this girl who her parents let her have sex as much as she wants she would have 4 or 5 different guys iver in one night. Well she got pregnant and the baby has 3 or 4 different types of diseases and she has to have all these guys tested to see who the father is and half of them is never going to be there for that baby. Realize what your saying before you encourage these kids to have sex with ANYONE let themn wait.

YOU Are not alone, i am now going through it.. Stand strong and remember to say how much you really care about your daughter.. Show her how much you care, stand by her time of weakness, be strong for her.. Let her know they probably will not marry these boys, usually they will marry boys they meet in college or when they are older, like in their 2o so they do not think this is it and it is the one and only love.. Tell them do not be the boys experimental faze or their entertainment.. Have them watch movies with powerful women, roles.. So they are not the week submissive girl, the kind boys use.. What more can I say... I still praying to God for help, she is my baby and I love her, as I tear up.. And f**k you MTV, with you sexual message and soft porn portrayal, with glamorization of casual sex!!!! You know how many middle age men watch this so called teen show, just shows you how filthy sexual soft porn messages are exudeding out, not for teens. Disgusting!!!!! MTV should be called Perversion Zone!!!!!!!!

My 14 year old daughter and I have discussed sex for years. She was always adamant that she wanted to stay a virgin till she was married. I told her that was probably an unrealistic goal, that as she grew her thoughts on the matter would change, but she maintained that attitude all through her 6 month "first romance". However, she just came to me crying that over the weekend, the new boyfriend coerced her into it. She is strong and stubborn and independent and always thought of boyfriends as a waste of time as she had so much else on the go. I am devastated in that we discussed that if she changed her mind, she would talk to me first and we would make sure all common sense safe practices were in place. But no...it was a spur of the moment thing and even though she told him to stop, I guess things had progressed too far for him to turn back. She is angry at herself and I am disappointed in myself. Did I trust her too much? Did I give her too much freedom? I thought she had such a level head on her shoulders and we had such open lines of communication. Of course, I have scheduled a doctor's appointment for her right away, but until then we worry. And she is SO down on herself. I was home at the time it happened, but thought they were playing a computer game. She says it wasn't rape, but she also said she said NO. So how did it happen? How do I help her not beat herself up over this when I am tempted to beat her up about it myself...but I know she needs understanding and a practical approach but I am SO disappointed in her. We've always talked openly about how dangerous unprotected sex is....but she didn't feel able to stop the situation even though I was in the very next room and would have run to her aid. Can I make this all better?

This is to mom found about incident of daughter being a room away.. Sorry to hear you feel like you could have helped her, and the unfortunate way it happen.. She had the guts to tell you and confine in you, this is big!!!! All is not lost, and my daughter told me some girls were having sex in junior high, this would have devastated me more, and could have been much worse. I know you are in pain and understand as mother how it must feel... Ask your daughter if she wants to talk to a counselor, to help her with the feelings of guilt.. This is not something from another world, but she should had it done on her own terms.. Well, it was at least a boy she liked and not some weird random stranger.. I know it is disappointing but it could have been so much worse... I hate to make this seem like no big deal, but she will feed off your guilt or regrets and sadness.. Being a shamed could be devastating for her self esteem. MY daughter told me she is a virgin but has a boyfriend, not sure what level of intimacy has occurred, but I try to continuously tell her not a good idea, to grow up to fast.. I just tell her not to have sex, and that she does not need to prove anything to any boy.. I also told her when she is older a condom is so important.. I really believe these girls have it tough, they growing up so fast, with the world at their fingertips, you know the internet and social media.. Just so overwhelming the consent feeding of smut. I too have a hard time dealing with the possibilities of all pressures of this growing up world, with no censure and boundaries. Do not be so hard on yourself mom, and with this good rapport with your daughter of her confiding in you, you can guide her on her future boyfriends, and life in general.

RE: I was in the next room! Thanx SO much for this response! I have been just beating my head against the wall over this thing. I know it is SO important to develop her self esteem...she has always been so poised and in control of every situation. This is a "make it or break it" kind of life event and I want to do only what's best for her. I did suggest she ask her doctor to recommend a counsellor if she thought it might help to talk it through with an objective outsider. It hurts SO much to think of all the physical ramifications of this....she understood the risks of unprotected sex, we talked about it often as our lines of communication are so good. And yes, thank the powers that be that she was able to come to me with this; I don't want to jeopardize the great communication by saying something stupid or over reacting. I even tried to comfort her by telling her my story, which isn't a whole lot better then what she just went through. I wonder if I should let her see him again...it bothers me that this "nice" boy did not take NO for an answer. We've known him awhile and he seemed like a great kid, holding down a part time job while going to school and really interested in my daughter's thoughts and boundaries.....or so I thought! She is so angry at herself for letting it happen. She's asked me not to tell her dad...he is one heck of a protective dad and he would string this boy up by the throat and make a huge scene of it, which would be devastating for her. But it is hard to keep something like this from him and who the heck can I talk to and try to share this anxiety? So I thank you so very much for responding so kindly and with such well thought out words. I can only hope that your daughter heeds your advise not to grow up to fast. I thought mine had!

dont keep it a secret from your husband, and don't blame yourself. choose the time to tell him because keeping the secret will eat away at you. yes it is disappointing how things happen with our teens and believe me the last six months i have experienced everything, sex being just the beginning. when i look back now, the hurt & upset is gone. yes it still happened but ultimately it is her life. she is making her own choices and i want to stay by her side, even if it is hard. just keep telling your daughter that you love her, even though you may not agree with her choices, but you will always be there for her. our teens are growing up very fast and they are sexually active too early. most of my daughters friends would have had sex, and they are only 14. very alarming at first but now just history. be calm and stay strong as much as you can. you can get through this together x