My 14 year old daughter having sex

Really, you think that religious training is all it takes? I am a youth director for a church and it happens on retreats despite our best efforts. Teenagers are children with hormones and for some no amount of preaching, lecturing or intimidation will stop them. All we can do is try to give them the best tools we can for making the right decisions. But in the end it is up to them.

I am a brother, my sister has just told me that she has had sex, shes only 14 years old, I feel disturbed and about to have a mental break down, I mean 14 is just to young, I am 18 and never had sex or anything close, I believe in being at least 21.

i have gud advise with you you marrige

take her to the doctor, have her get a pap test, then get her on the pill. Thats what im doing with my daughter. We cant stop them from having sex but we can protect them from pregnancy. Also talk condoms.. the pill dosnt protect them from std's

this is normal just let them do it and eventully they will stop

you are naive, i just found out my 14 year old daughter snuck out when i was asleep and has sex with a 13 year old who lives down the street, and she would be the first to tell you she loves going to church! she has been raised in aa Christian home by two believing parents who have given her all the biblical views on sex before marriage and who even waited themselves! it doesn't always work. they will make their own decisions, no matter what we teach them!

look she is to young to be doing that u should always know where she is and what she is doing . if this dosent work put a restring order on him . i am a 14 year old boy and know better then to do that .

This will be a contreversial answer, let her do it. I know it's hard, but at this age  kids don't have STD's and it will be good for her to use her body so she doesn't abuse it later. I know this is really hard, and not "right", but if you get mad ad yell she'll only wanna do it more and that will lead to bigger problems later in life. Just get her and her bf in the same room and have a good conversation. You can't stop so at least provide them with condoms, and you shouldn't outrightly support it, but let her know your not mad you understand, and you're ok with it as long as they use protection. Take into mind I'm a 14 year old boy, ad trying to find out the ads and dis to having sex, and being close to your daughter's age (don;t take this the wrong way, im not a stupid teen tht thinks hes smarter and better than adults) i know more about this than any mom's or other adults, so please don't take my answer for granted because of my age.

I agree. Depending on the teenagers own way of thinking they can take church as a repiticious confinment, with rules restricting the boundries of adventures ( as scene by 12-17 yo). Other teens take solitude behind the comfort a certain fear of their god. As a teen mom myself, at 16, having lost my virginity, had my first kiss, tasted beer, and hit a joint ( a few times) at 14 n with in 6month period, the confines of church (lds) rules did not seem legitamate to me. And some still dont now at the age of almost 31. The restrictions that my parents enforced drove me to break them. I would ditch school, lie to be able to go to parties and meet up and go on dates with boys. And sometimes id get caught and id only make sure i was smarter next time. lol The dissapointment on my moms face when i told her i was pregnant was unbearable. She didnt yell, lecture me, or even seem to get mad, she asked who the dad was and told me i hv to get a job, do continuation school and get my DL. Then she walked out of the room and probably cried for hours.
Now my 14 yo daughter is showing warning signs. Going into a boys house which live in our apt complex. ( a boy which i didnt enourage nor deny her the opportunity to "go out with". With rules, basic standard rules. A few weeks go by, she had her first kiss with him (which i didnt freak out about), and then she broke it off cuz she found out some miniscule drama. With this boy living in our complex, she has now started to show signs of hanging out with him. Over herad her convo tnite " why would you kill yourelf if i didnt have sex with you." wtf!? i took her phone and told her her phone will hv restrictions so that she cnt be in contact with just anyone. "But he called me was all she kept saying". Not understanding the logical reason she provided that excuss.
I told her that he waws using manipulation in order to achieve his desires. and that he wont have to worry about killing himself if she wont hv sex with him, cuz if i find out he makes an attempt ill castrate him and stuff his membrane in his mouth and curb him. :) Not as if that would happen, however, i know she believes that i will def put him in his place and make sure that he feels the fear of my words.
Bottom line......mommy time is over, and a friend wont cover the needs of maintaining the parental role. Be her big sister. Make her understand that the punishments she does recieve are enforced to protect her, share experiances openly from our teens minus details if desired. Tell them you will kick ass if needed. Be frank and through with the possible short and long term out comes. Explain from a psychological and logical standpoint on the issues at hand. Be light with the subject and make her laugh with some funny comments or referneces. Tell her what she would be missing by being a teenage mom. Like spring break in cancun with college room mates. The sponteninity of beach trips or last minute concert tickets. The freedom of extra money to save for a nice car, trips and clothes. The confidence of no stretch marks! and being able to buy anything off the rack then search for something that hides the scars. babys are cute but not convienient. Most importantly...do it over cookies and milk. :)

Hello  I know I kinda just joined in. But I'd like to tell y'all my story!

To start off. I am 13. Going to be 14 on Feb 25 2013

I know where you are coming from! I have had sex at a young age. But see, my best friend always has been, always will be, we were hanging out. And his name is Mark!   Now see this is where it's complicated all my friends (Mark Jack Blake Alexander Sarah Emma Jenna) slept over at my house one night. My mom was ok with it since she knew all the other moms and we've done this before. 
Anyway, so all of us were playin a game when everyone except for me and Mark (who is 14) decided to go to bed. Mark and I stayed up and played a couple more games!

Finally we decided that it was time to lay down! Well everyone already was asleep. And Mark didn't have anywhere to go (he was suppose to stay in the extra bed that was in my brother Jack's room (but already someone was sleeping there). So Mark came in my room

I never thought anymore of it until he started kissing me! Now keep in mind Mark and I weren't dating at the time. And it was a day after my 13th birthday! Mark started cuddling up (we kissed and cuddeled before. Because we were best friends) 
But then we started getting intimate. I gave my virginity away to him.  We were at it for about 3 hours straight. (not a big deal because he's fingered me 3 times before)  I was so comfortable with him. And I actually fell in love. But we decided to keep it a secret. 

The next morning Mark and I are the first ones up (shocker). And my parents were in the kitchen! We walk in and they ask us to sit down.  Mark grabbs my hand and I can feel that they knew. 
They asked us if something went on, me and Mark confessed! My mom (who is a lawyer) and my dad (who's a police officer) were THRILLED! 
They thought I was finally not the little baby anymore. I was growing up. They were proud that I am that mature. 

See look don't be mad at your daughter! She must love the guy very much to be with him in such a special way!  

Mark and I have had sex 6 more times. And I am still only 13. We love each other. We've been in an amazing relationship. I love him with all my heart

So please. Don't be angry at ur daughter! Treat her as If you would want ur parents to treat u if you were the one loosing your virginity at such a young age!
-Carrie

dear brandee 101 im a female 16 year old and im sorry to hear this but you have to move on i lost my virginity about a year ago and tottaly reegreted it my advice is to stay chilll and learn to accept it i would not isolate her from him but if you do she will only want to do it more so stay clm and carry on

Im a 14 year old girl as well. I see this sort of situation occur around my friendship group all of the time. There is nothing you can do now as it has already happened, but if i was to ever have sex at this age, i would certainly not want my mum getting angry at me. this can make her feel like she has no support and she may become depressed. just explain to her that she should be using protection and make sure that she understands the decision she is making, hope i helped x

Hi, i am 14 years old and im not a virgen.. I want to tell my mom, but i think she wont let me hang out with my boyfriend anymore... Both my parents met him, they met his parents, brothers, they went to his house, etc. Every weekend i go to his house to sleep over, and, ive been going to his house every weenken like 5, 6 times. I am VERY aware of everything. My boyfriend always uses a condom, and takes good care of me. 2 days ago i wanted to throw up, so he went and bought me a pregnency test. What i think would help you, your daughet and your realtionship is to talk to her!! Just tell her your their for her, any questions problemes, tell her youll help her and NEVER laugh at her. Tell her if she needs anything (condoms, birth cotrol pills, etc) youll give it to her. DONT make her stop doing things she normaly does (like go out with his bf, go to his house). It will make her feel that you are trusting her. I am dying to tell my mom, and i want her to tell me everything i told you, but im sacered she wont let me go ti his house. I hope everythings ok. PS: ur not a bad mom, ur a good mom for wanting to take care of her. Tell her that, and im sure, you both can talk freely.

i recently found out that my 14 year old daughter has had sex...she denies it but i know she has..i dont know what to do or how to handle this particular situation.. ?

i dont know how to talk to her about it ?