My 4-year old daughter masturbates????

Does he know you saw him, or do you think he might know? He could have been pretending to be asleep when he became aware that you were there.



I'm sorry for the terrible guilt you suffered and apparently are still suffering. Please try not to pass it on to your boy. If he knows you saw him this is an excellent opportunity for you to talk with him. Have a nice mom to son talk to make him comfortable with his desires.



My cousins were visiting and we were in my room masturbating when my mother walked in on us. She just said "supper's ready" closed the door and went back down stairs. She never said anything about it which left me hanging expecting the hammer to fall any time.



I wish she had discussed it with me and a whole bunch of other sex related teen developments I was going through, but at least she didn't do anything to make me feel guilty. Society did that somehow. Even though I believed it was perfectly normal, there was always a twinge of guilt. I think that could have been completely erased if my mother had been open about things but that was back in the 50's when nobody talked about sex in any constructive way



I know they always say "father-son" talk and "mother-daughter" talk but I think I would have been more comfortable having my mother discuss it with me. I know I would feel more comfortable talking with my daughter than my son.



I hope my own experience and thoughts will help you.

I agree, I think it would be a great time to open that door and let him know he can come and talk to you about anything.

Hello there. I'm a girl, 17 years old now. and I actually remember starting masterbating at the age of 4. It's actually so wierd how these memeories are still with me. but anyway yes i remeber the stimulation feeling and stuff, although i didnt understand it but i knew it felt good.
Plus my mum also told me one day that when i was a baby i also was touching myself.
I have never told this to anyone because i didnt think people would believe me that oh a little girl masterbating from the age of 4. and the first person i told is my boyfriend that im with right now and he doesnt believe.
I thought i was the only person to have been throught this as a child until i read your post.
and since the age of 4, ive always been masterbating.
In my teenage years right now I've been masterbating quite a lot like 3-5 times a day.

Awwww! my daugter did that from 4 to 7. i'm sorry for you. do you wanna be friends?

I'm no doctor but for me that's normal. My sister started touching herself when she was 5. She didn't know what she was doing or that it was called masturbation, all she knew was it felt good. And whatever kids think feels good or is good they will do, no matter what you say to them or try to stop them. It'll just make them want to do it more.

I started when I was about four, too. This is what my Mum did:

When you catch her doing it, tell her to do it in private or you will conviscate something or some other little punishment, but not something really really strict. Give her more time alone. If you think she's mastubating in another room just let her. Eventually she will stop at her own accord when she realises that no one else does it, or at least in public, but she won't know that. She will start again sometime but when she is a little older, and at a more reasonable age to do so. Well, that's what happened with me anyway.

I am extremely relieved to hear that Im not alone in this my six year old has been doing this for atleast two years, at first I was embaressed by it and I was unsure how to handle it. I used to make her get up and go wash her hands (she only does it at bedtime) and then talk to her about something totally different and change her mindset, but now she is annoyed when i catch her, and she mimics to me that its not appropriate and she can get an infection,( she is very mature and i have been telling her this for years) so after reading this i can relax a little bit , as a young mother though it makes me uneasy. Thank all of you !!

Funny that you posted this. My son who now is 5 touched himself to the point of needing meds on his private. He now has stopped do to it hurt him. Than an I think he grew out of that. He has done other stuff witch because a huge talk with him and I an his father. I too have girls. The touch himself all the time when they are naked in the shower. But I tell them yuck girls don't do that an it seems to work...for now. I have read some information to night thats shocking an let's me know I'm not alone. Hope things urn around.

Why the panic? Masturbation is natural and enjoyable... even for kids, god forbid! Let her enjoy herself. My little girl started masturbating when she was 14 months old. She's 52 now, perfectly healthy, and still masturbating. She's working on her second PhD, so her masturbating doesn't seem to have destroyed many brain cells.

That most comments are sensitive and caring for the child's feeling is wonderful really.  I applaud you all. 

 Whether you smile and say all the right things in these situations or snap and tell her:  "please sweetheart control yourself" matters little if you or your spouse are appalled/shocked/embarrassed/resentful/annoyed by it - your body language and tone, eye contact and that following the event (s) will tell your child how you really feel. 

 

Picking their nose is reacted to with "stop that" and all survive okay.  So after some thought about this subject, I conclude the same should result from a young child's of self stimulation.  Not with disgust but with logic.  It's not safe to do that in public.  If it hurts their sexual life as an adult, it will be far better than having the child being held accountable for their public display of what society considers something that should happen behind closed doors.  At their young, vulnerable age, and in light of the subject and it's disturbing impact on a few fathers, you could explain this to them - "society has rules to follow when we are in public settings or amongst others. 

 

 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR POSTING THIS QUESTION Babyblues1222! My Daughter is 4 1/2 and we call it "Rubs" pretty much every nap time and bed with her favourite pink blanket. I noticed she started doing this with her stuffy when she was 6 months old. My husband and I catch her all the time doing it and we are so grossed out by it. We normally take her pink blanket away so she goes to sleep, but she cries and cries and cries her self to sleep. We feel so bad for her every time this happens, but we also thought that was she was doing was wrong and gross. We spoke to her doctor (who had NINE kids) and she said 5 out of her 9 kids do it too and to ignore her and it should stop (which clearly she hasnt). I caught her doing it A LOT today and I was so frustrated I had to come online and see what other moms are saying. It is very comforting to hear other little girls do this as well. I know for next time to tell her to go to her room and close her door. Thank you so much other moms for being so honest. :)

Thank you for your post - my dau is exactly the same. She is 5 and has been masturbatng since she was 3 in much the same manor, rubbing against her chair and actrually using her hands in her panties. We finally have her going to her room to do it but there are still times when she will forget but its usually when she is tired and laying onthe couch watching tv. I was fixing dinner the other night and she was sitting on my husbands leg with him bouncing her up and down like all kids do. She was very insistant that he not stop bouncing her. I had to tell her to go to her room. I am worried as she still masturbates daily although it is usually at night now around bed time. She is continually taking off her panties and refuses to sleep in them at all. I am at my wits end as well

My daughter that is now 12 used to hump things when she was younger and now that she's 12 i thought she'd grow out of it but one day i caught her in the bathroom humping her razor for her legs. Now i'm worried that she won't grow out of it Help!!!!! :(

Perhaps you should give your 12 yr old daughter some privacy. Knock before you enter the room at all times is just being polite, especially in the bathroom. Masturbating compulsively is the issue. Stopping masturbation altogehter will harm your child.

I was one of those children who never masturbated. It just never occurred to me ever until I was about 22. I did not know people actually could do that. Strange warm sensations i did not focus on at all. This, of course, was probably the result of being shamed or terrifed by my parent/parents' reaction. It did not keep me from being active sexually. Though I could not orgasm and at 54, I still have very difficult time achieving orgasm. Orgasms relax us and are good for us. They are like a "reset" button on our psyches. I have been cheated out of them because of hysterical response by my caretakers.

I do not think your daughter is overdoing it by your description.

Ohh I thought my 4 year old daughter was the only one. My daughter just got punished because I caught her masturbating and when I asked her was she was doing she started crying so I take it as she knows that what she was doing was not good but maybe I'm being too hard on her. I screamed and got pissed and she knows I'm not usually like that. Now I feel bad cuz I just find out that's normal.