My 4-year old daughter masturbates????

I am not a mother, but I am 24 and have been masturbating ever since I can remember. I had my first orgasm in my car-seat, probably around 3 and became addicted immediately. I instinctively knew what I was doing was "bad," and I tried to hide it from my parents, but it was hard because we were in a van. I would rub myself on the seat-belt that buckled in-between my legs until it felt really good. One time, my parents casually asked me what I was doing and my excuse was I wanted to see if I could touch the chair in front of me with my toes yet, "Nope, still can't." Looking back, it was probably pretty obvious what I was doing. I even asked my parents what age kids stop riding in car-seats and when they told me around 5, I figured I still had over a year before I needed to find something new to satisfy me. I was already determined to keep it going.

By the time my car-seat was taken away, I had discovered that I could rock myself on a corner (usually the bathroom counter) and get the same effect. I didn't do it because I was bored, I had plenty of activities to keep me busy--played lots of sports, did lots of outdoors stuff, lots of arts and crafts, and had a ton of friends. I just did it because it was easy and felt amazing. It's actually a really efficient method that I still use today, basically everyday. I do it fully clothed and am usually able to achieve orgasm in less than a minute.

Anyways, my parents have never even talked to me about the subject and to this day I am not sure if they knew what I was up to. Maybe they knew in the beginning, but thought I grew out of it. It was probably obvious, but not a big problem since I never did it in public (only in a car), and lived in a small apartment so no guests either. I am thankful that my parents never sat me down to talk to me about it because I like to think that they have never known.

But I do remember my mom wanting to teach me how to clean myself. I was upset because I was sure I had been washing my whole body, it didn't seem that hard. Then she specifically taught me to wash between the lips of my vagina and that was new. I was glad she showed me this because there was build up from the orgasms.

I am also glad my parents never scolded me because I would have felt really ashamed and insecure. Masturbating is natural and a wonderful part of life, and many kids discover it, but it just has to be done in the right place. I didn't even realize I had been having orgasms my whole life until much after I became sexually active. I still never had an orgasm during sex until I fell in love with my boyfriend 4 years ago. So it took a little love to get one from something that wasn't inanimate, but I have never had any sexual problems despite my excessive, but healthy masturbation habits.

I just wanted to say that there's usually never one best way to deal with something. It's important to look at the kid's personality, the different values they are supposed look up to in their families, and the overall environment that they are exposed to. A more introverted kid might be more susceptible to emotional issues after being scolded than a more extroverted kid. I personally don't think a kid should be scolded for masturbating, because it's innocent. But just don't stop reminding them what is considered inappropriate and what is the proper way to behave in public. Once they actually come to realize what they're doing is embarrassing, which probably won't be long after kindergarten, they will probably start hiding it from the world and doing it in private, and the parent can pretend nothing ever happened and nothing is happening. So teaching them to clean their private parts early on wouldn't be a bad idea. Best of luck!

This is pretty cool. What is the propper way to behave in public?
Also perhaps private parte cleaning should be thought by strangers, or various individuals? just in case they would remember and if they become bullied and introverted.

The proper way to behave would probably be harder to instill in more energetic and extroverted kids, but eventually they should learn as they get older that they can be seen by others and they have to take responsibility and consequences for their actions. They should behave in a way that is respectful to both others and themselves, i.e. no public indecency. (Respect is the #1 concept I would teach my kids--respect for parents, family, and people in general, respect for concepts, opinions, and religion, for life, animals, nature, and your own mind and body. I wished people these days lived with much more respect.)

Anyways, when I did something inappropriate or rude in public as a child, my parents would tell me what other people might think if they saw and I wouldn't want to embarrass myself. This worked on me because I was shy and wanted to impress people with how well-behaved I was. Kids are all very unique and quickly develop different ways of thinking so it may be easier to persuade a kid after you have an idea of how their mind works and what is important to them.

As for private parts cleaning, I think being taught by parents would be best (mom to daughter or son, dad to son) and least embarrassing. A close caretaker or someone in the medical field would probably be okay if the parents are not comfortable. You just want to limit discomfort for the child, but long as they feel they are loved because their parents actually give a c**p, they'll be fine no matter what.

most definitively not.. because private parts are private .. and when shared it is usually to be shared with sexual partners NOT with parents.. following the logic of some of the rules of some societies.

what is respect and what is kid, and what is decent?

in my opinion (and in fact) an individual is part of a society thus if one wants good thing the whole society should baddressed)

Our now 16yo started grinding herself on her doll and later her pillow when she was 2, She too went through a phase of it being the 'must do all the time' thing but with management it became a bedtime only thing by the time she was at preschool (4). We 'trained' her to do it privately by telling her it was a bedroom thing and having her go there when she wanted to partake. It was a bit like toilet training in that respect. We deliberately were non judgemental and avoided sounding cross or frustrated when she didn't follow the rules. Much more a case of saying gently, "now where is the right place for doing that?" and reminding her. Yes it was hard, especially when she set to it when there were guests in the house but its my house and I set the rules not a neighbour that maybe thought punishment was needed.

As our daughter came out of diapers and the protection the pillow had been getting from them we had to give her a separate play pillow for her masturbation games as it was frankly not hygienic to have her rubbing her genitals on the same pillow she slept on no matter how often it was laundered. As she grew up this play pillow became known as her 'bolster' and it was an undiscussed subject what it was in her room for. Its still there now and its obviously getting used but she looks after changing the cover these days. Has she turned out evil and mentally ill, insular and obsessed with masturbation? No she is an outgoing, girl with good grades, many friends and lots of activities in her life and no she hasn't started dating yet for those that assume masturbation leads to promiscuity.

This is actually very normal. It seems disturbing but its a way children self soothe themselves. She will eventually grow out of it and it wont effect her later sexual life. It can be worse now because she may be more stressed. MOst children do it more often when they are stressed and or tired. I know you just want her to stop but its not for you to say. You can let her know that its something better left for privacy and enforce that. BUt for you to stop it is unheard of.

how will her sex life be ruined by this? what an helpful comment.

Hi my daughter dose this to and shes only 5 so what happend was I was in the living room and so that we have a baby monitor I hear what she says so I was watching tv and all I hear was "ohhhhhh" and "uggg" and so I wonder what is that and all I see is her with her fingers in her so I fought this was just a fase that she will grow out then bam not working at the age of 7 she was interested in boys and girls so she had her 9 yrs old friend come over and went into her room and when I went to check on them she was licking her "private" and stufff happend so now help idk what to do nothin works I feel like im loseing her

Well all I can say is I have 3 girls and the oldest who is 17 is going out on her first date on Christmas Day,the middle girl is going out and our babby is going to Grandma's hope that help as bringing them up is a big key.

Show her how to finger herself so she'll stop rubbing agents things then she'll do it less because her hands will get tired out.

I have been concerned about my 9 month old. she sits in her high chair and walker and will rub her self down there whenever she is sitting and i have been so concerned because its turning to an all day thing and was not sure if she had an infection but shes not in pain. i thought 9 months old was to early for her to start doing this and i am not sure what to do about it.My husband is really freaking out about this.HELP!! is she to young to be doing this all day and can i stop it?

Ok so I see we're your concern is coming from but this is nothing to be concerned about it is a perfectly normal thing for children of all ages to do they will eventually grow out of it but for now do not make them feel ashamed about it they are just simply exploring their body's

don't worry I've gone through that situation when I was little....when she gets into school she'd forget about it and when she does, don't remind her in the age of 6- 12 about her masturbating when she was litttle.... cause if u do she'll do it again.

My daughter is the same she does it anywhere but mostly on the coffee table, and she has done it since about the age of 2 shes 7 now! I hate it and the doctor says ignore it. I cant ignore it I always tell her to get off the table. She usually does it when we leave the room. I need help also, I have no clue how to stop it but I also heard an 11 year old does it in school, I dread that! she did it in school a bit but not much thank god!

Hey i need help als