My 4-year old daughter masturbates????

My daughter is almost four and she just started masturbating.  I feel embarrassed but I don't want her to know?  I just told her that we touch ourselves in private and if she want to do that, she needs to go to her room.  She totally gets the privacy aspect as she keeps telling me she needs privacy and goes to her room to touch herself.  I just worry I created a masturbating monster. Lol

If this child is stimulating herself, she may reach arousal state but not complete the act...meaning she is always aware of the sense of fullness which, if you are orgasmic, comes from not reaching a climax. It is my hope she is not under stress which can lead to compulsive behavior as relief from information she is unable to process. Keep a close eye on her when she goes to relatives or neighbors just to be safe. If there is stress in house from bills or other things, try to keep her protected from that information. Provide new crayons and toys that will capture her attention when she says she needs her privacy. They are cheap and if they are newly given to her, she will want to play with them immediately. A visit to a physician with an exam to make sure she does not have a UTI and all is well is probably a good idea. Not making a big deal out of this is preferable I think after you rule out any type of outside influence (sickness or overstimulation for outside source). Best wishes.

My daughter is a teenager,14 and in the 8th grade.she was confirmed last october[catholic] and per parish requirements for the girls had to wear a white,poofy floor length dress,veil,tights and white mary jane shoes.under their tights the girls had to wear a cloth diaper and rubberpants.after her party,she took the dress and veil off and the tights and the diaper and i told her to leave the rubberpants on untill bed time.she put her nightgown on over them and sat on her bed reading a book. awhile later i came into her romm to talk to her about something and caught her rubbing the crotch of the rubberpants against herself.she turned red and i asked what she was doing and she started to cry and said she was masturbating with the rubberpants.i told her to take them off and she did,but i know she liked doing it.

Can I just tell you that, I am going through even more than your problem!  My daughter started 'humpimg' when she was just 4 months old, she is now 8 yers old and still does it.  I was toild also, by my GP that she would STOP.  No, she has not, I still do not know what to do about her.  I cannot let her go on sleepovers, or to have friends to our home.  It is pretty much every day. 

 

Hi. I'm a 21 year old girl, and I'm not a parent yet. The reason I started reading this post is that I used to do the same as a kid. I don't quite remember how it started, but when I confessed about this to a close friend, she asked me if I think I might have been abused as a kid, and the thought really freaked me out, because I don't remember anything as such.

Anyway, reading this post helped me realize that it's completely normal for a girl to do it at a really young age. And it does not necessarily mean that she was sexually abused. However, parents not taking it too well can really make the whole thing seem like a shameful thing to do. My parents aren't very sexually liberated (I live in India, where everything is considered taboo, even if people do the same things behind close doors) They didn't quite know how to handle the situation back then, even though they understand now. They used to constantly yell at me when they found me doing it, my grandma would also ask me why I was taking a long time in the bathroom : It used to make me feel like I was abnormal, and a bad child. I'm old enough to know better now, but I still have a lot of hang-ups. It really does make you socially awkward. Can also ruin a child's confidence, and they will carry the burden for a long time.

It's good to know that parents today try to handle the situation in a mature way. I wish all you mothers good luck with your children. You're all amazing, trying to do what's best for them, and encouraging others to do so as well :)

This has become a society focused on sexual activity. The old men are devastated when they cannot get an erection on demand. Nothing else matters. The population is saturated with this nonsense. What should be an act this is highly personal and shared with choice few has become a talking point thanks to Oprah, who has convinced the US population to talk about everything that has ever happened to them on the world stage, wearing it like a badge of honor, and ignoring everything else around them, like the fact their country is collapsing into it's own footsteps.

Kids need to play. They should be getting so much exercise during the course of a day, they are too tired to do much else. They should be reading and learning. The children are our future but they've also been convinced that the only thing that matters is the new Birthday Barbie doll or whatever the manufacturer has developed that needs to be pushed onto the public so they can become even richer.

Hello, I'm an old 76 year's grandmom. When was a young girl (7 or so ifI do remeber well, i was showd by an "older" 9 years old sister's classmare who learned to me how to rub my clitoris. At the time, (in the 1930's) masturbationwas considered as a sin but also as a very harmful practice for health and welfare. For the same reasons, my mon had been excised in 1913 whedn she, as a young girl, waqs caught many times playing with her clitoris and despite flogging, did'nt stop. The same"old then" doctor who had also get my grandmom cut in 1881 because "self abuse" got alsomy mom excised in attempt to stop masturbation. When i began to masturbate, my grandmom planned to get me excised toobut, thanks the world war and some circumctances linked to that, i escaped the scalpel of the doctors !

At the time, so many girls have been excised and lost the clitoris because parents were thinkin that masturbation was very harmful for both physical and mental health !

just thanks the german bomb who in 1942 destroyed our house and killed father, pushingourselves to the exile roads, I escaped tyo the clitoridectomy. But despite we went refugees in south of France for escape the germans, i was flogged so many times for even have been not caught but suspected to touch myself down there.

later whan a,n adolescent, i learned that older sister, but alsomy mom and my grandmom had been clitoridectomized for try to stop abeginning masturbation's habit; just the german bomb who destroyed home and killed fater spared my clitoris ffrom doctor's scalpe

since that time and despitte married, and having intercourse qw

These last years i even did the "self-abuse" 3 or 4 times a day.

My daughter,who is now 14 was baptized last easter at easter vigil and wore the traditional white,poofy,top of the knees dress with a matching bonnet,lace anklets and white 'mary jane'shoes.I did the standard cloth diaper and rubber pants on her under the dress.After her party,she took her dress and bonnet off and put her night gown on and on her bed reading.A while later i went to check on her and she had her diaper off and but the rubber pants still on and was rubbing the crotch of them against her vagina and moaning some.I did ask her what she was doing and she turned red and then admitted that she liked rubbing the crotch of them against her vagina.she is now 14 and every so often i catch her wearing the rubber pants and laying on her bed and masturbating in them.I feel i would rather have her doing that than having a boy do it for her!

good information in tough problems

My 3 year old masurbates and while I'm okay with it (told her clean hands, only in her room), the problem is that she started using toys from her room.  I've found a variety of smallish toys and once even part of her pre-nap snack in her undies or sleep diaper.  I've emptied her room of  everything except plush toys and her costume box.  She still manages to sneak stuff, and I'm just not sure what else I can do.  I live in fear of her putting something *in* herself or getting an infection. 

if she most play show her when it is the right time to play and where is the right place

babyblues1222,

Thank you so much fr your post. My daughter does the same thing thing. she usually rubs her blankie against herself. Like you i thought she would grow out of it but she's 5 now and i'm really getting concerned. I have raised her primarily and has not been around anyone that could have done it to her. she started around 3 years old as well. I have tried everything from yelling and getting mad, to ignoring, to talking with her and to the doctor. I just simply cannot ignore it and tell her it's ok to do it so long as it's done in private. I just can't.  I don't know what to do and find my self in despair.

My daughter is 4 and a half. She started "rubbing" herself at about 3. It seems to come and go as far as how often she does it, but lately she's been doing it more often. Thankfully, I've been able to get across to her that it's a personal and private thing that should only be done in her bedroom, alone, and only with her hands (for her safety). It can be really awkward to deal with this as a parent, but nevertheless, it's normal. I'm no bible-thumper, so there's no *sin* involved from my perspective, and also there is nothing to worry about in the future as far as promiscuity. It very rarely has anything to do with abuse, either. Sometimes it can be a case of a yeast infection, but most of the time it's because it just plain feels good. I figured this out at a young age, too, and not a dang thing was wrong with me. I'm only frustrated because she's been doing it repeatedly during quiet time. Since I can hear it through the monitor, it kind of gets to me.

I've found many of the responses interesting, some comforting, and yet some quite disturbing. I guess all we can do is our best, and that is only based on what we know. So, please... don't base what you know on posts made by people with the same issues. Although these can help in providing comfort that you are not alone, please also use information from sites that deal specifically with pediatric issues. One theme that kept repeating itself on this thread was "Shame". While shame may occasionally serve a purpose, I don't believe it should with normal self-pleasuring.... normal being within the boundaries that you set for your child. Let's not forget that we're trying to deal with something that's making US feel awkward... not the kids. As long as they are keeping it private and personal, let's teach them what respect is.

At this point, I'm just going to take a step back, love my kid, turn the monitor down, and keep on truckin'.

I read recently read that if not cleaned properly, debris will buil up under the good of the clitoris. It is more common in children than adults. This buildup has been known to be the cause of children masturbating. I didn't read too much into it but maybe you should search more in depth and find out different ways to show her to clean down there

She might have abnormality in brain or somewhere.. maybe a tumor. if no such maybe something close to stimulate stuff. This should be found out during regular tests or such.
She might just find stuff boring.
Public masturbation like in front of others is a normal sexual relationship related behavior, so probably its all fine, just have to keep a strict size touchgroup. It is a little bit botersome.. if u just say do it private.. because this way sometimes parents will interact with Her sexuality while others wont interact much if u educate Her this way.. this can cause problem later depending on stuff. So educate about possible infections, how to wash propperly surfaces (or rather ask someone else to tell Her), or also have Her educated for somewhat prolonged orgasm (the frequency wont be so often). Measure resting blood pressure sometimes. She should eat non meat diet, but so that all the nutrition needs are satisfied. some meets are pumped with similar to testosterone molecules, wich can cause sexual arrousal. Also have something else in the enviornment wich is also interesting, some creative thing or whatever. But since others tell u even the no public masturbation, and many of the others can be manipulated by government, it would be the task of the government to create a reasonable education system, including social/sexual behavior as well as rich and cognitively nourishing enough environment.
If She mostly rides objects, then it is advised to have the muscles worked symmetrically, also variable postures (but again, other appropriate personality individuals should interact with Her masturbation activity, because if its done only by parents.. its rather strange.. in effect it wouldnt be, provided the society is engineered a certain way).

Anyway first should check health.