Hi, please help, I need some advice...!!!
I have been with my bf for about a year now, it will be exactly 1 year next week.
We had our ups & downs and I am actually the one who puts more effort into this relationship.
I think I like him more than he likes me, but not in such a bad way.
I am not trying to say that I'm the only one doing all the work but I definitely do more, which I don't mind.
We went through so much together already, but somehow we managed to work things out and things were good.
A couple months ago, he moved into his new apt, and I started to stay over a lot in the last few weeks.
I can't imagine that that's the reason b/c he actually wants me to come over most of the times. He is not the type
to sugar coat anything, he'll tell me directly if he didn't want me to come so he wasn't trying to be nice or anything.
I'm not trying to make my bf look bad but he's like the biggest 'man child' (and he's younger than me) and he's
always tired(the whole time I knew him, he was always tired).
And starting last week, the number of times we have sex definitely decreased. It slowly decreased over time, of course,
we weren't having sex 3~4 times a day like we used to in the beginning, but it was good.
But then again, starting last week, it seemed like he didn't even want to cuddle with me. I started to get a little frustrated
and nagged at him a little bit, not too much(I swear). Just yesterday and the day before, he brushed me off when I tried to
cuddle with him while watching TV. I said 'what's wrong?' but all he said was 'nothing, just tired.'
Now... this is a bad sign, I thought. I mentioned it to him, like, isn't it a red flag when the guy doesn't want to have sex?
And he said 'NOOOO~,' rolling his eyes. And he would hold me and cuddle with me when we go to bed every night.
If he was losing interest, I'd imagine that he wouldn't even want to do that b/c I wouldn't. :P
I packed most of my stuff I had in his apt this morning, and came to work with a huge bag. I'm going home after work,
instead of going over to his place again. I thought maybe giving him some time off from me will help...???
Honestly, if this is one of those 'going down the hill' type of ending relationships, I don't want to waste time.
I actually talk to him about most things directly, I asked him before if it was anything close to that. If it is, there is
no need to drag on, I told him. Until yesterday he said it wasn't that and he said 'damn, everything was good until
last night, wtf!' Nooooo... everything was NOT good until last night... I've been patient!!! :/
I'm trying not to freak out or jump to conclusions b/c that's what I do, apparently. My bf tells me that I read into things
too much and I sometimes jump to conclusions, and he doesn't like it.
I guess I'm being a little defensive b/c I've dated all kinds of F-ed up guys, including wife beaters, yes... so I tend to try to
read things in case I need to jump ship in order to minimize the amount of pain I'm about to face.
So, my question is... (I really don't know guys, otherwise I wouldn't have dated all them F-ed up guys, right... haha)
Is he acting this way b/c he lost interest? (I don't think he's trying to hint anything, he'd rather tell me directly)
Is it something I did or say that's bothering him?
Is he cheating on me? (I trust him and I've been with him most of the times recently. He's been cheated on before and swore to
me that he'd never do that)
Like... WHAT THE HELL is it...???!!!
He doesn't talk much about his feelings, like most guys, so I have no idea what's going on, I feel like I'm in the dark here!
Sorry it's so long, thank you for taking the time to read this if you have read this, and please, help! :/
I have been with my bf for about a year now, it will be exactly 1 year next week.
We had our ups & downs and I am actually the one who puts more effort into this relationship.
I think I like him more than he likes me, but not in such a bad way.
I am not trying to say that I'm the only one doing all the work but I definitely do more, which I don't mind.
We went through so much together already, but somehow we managed to work things out and things were good.
A couple months ago, he moved into his new apt, and I started to stay over a lot in the last few weeks.
I can't imagine that that's the reason b/c he actually wants me to come over most of the times. He is not the type
to sugar coat anything, he'll tell me directly if he didn't want me to come so he wasn't trying to be nice or anything.
I'm not trying to make my bf look bad but he's like the biggest 'man child' (and he's younger than me) and he's
always tired(the whole time I knew him, he was always tired).
And starting last week, the number of times we have sex definitely decreased. It slowly decreased over time, of course,
we weren't having sex 3~4 times a day like we used to in the beginning, but it was good.
But then again, starting last week, it seemed like he didn't even want to cuddle with me. I started to get a little frustrated
and nagged at him a little bit, not too much(I swear). Just yesterday and the day before, he brushed me off when I tried to
cuddle with him while watching TV. I said 'what's wrong?' but all he said was 'nothing, just tired.'
Now... this is a bad sign, I thought. I mentioned it to him, like, isn't it a red flag when the guy doesn't want to have sex?
And he said 'NOOOO~,' rolling his eyes. And he would hold me and cuddle with me when we go to bed every night.
If he was losing interest, I'd imagine that he wouldn't even want to do that b/c I wouldn't. :P
I packed most of my stuff I had in his apt this morning, and came to work with a huge bag. I'm going home after work,
instead of going over to his place again. I thought maybe giving him some time off from me will help...???
Honestly, if this is one of those 'going down the hill' type of ending relationships, I don't want to waste time.
I actually talk to him about most things directly, I asked him before if it was anything close to that. If it is, there is
no need to drag on, I told him. Until yesterday he said it wasn't that and he said 'damn, everything was good until
last night, wtf!' Nooooo... everything was NOT good until last night... I've been patient!!! :/
I'm trying not to freak out or jump to conclusions b/c that's what I do, apparently. My bf tells me that I read into things
too much and I sometimes jump to conclusions, and he doesn't like it.
I guess I'm being a little defensive b/c I've dated all kinds of F-ed up guys, including wife beaters, yes... so I tend to try to
read things in case I need to jump ship in order to minimize the amount of pain I'm about to face.
So, my question is... (I really don't know guys, otherwise I wouldn't have dated all them F-ed up guys, right... haha)
Is he acting this way b/c he lost interest? (I don't think he's trying to hint anything, he'd rather tell me directly)
Is it something I did or say that's bothering him?
Is he cheating on me? (I trust him and I've been with him most of the times recently. He's been cheated on before and swore to
me that he'd never do that)
Like... WHAT THE HELL is it...???!!!
He doesn't talk much about his feelings, like most guys, so I have no idea what's going on, I feel like I'm in the dark here!
Sorry it's so long, thank you for taking the time to read this if you have read this, and please, help! :/
Hi Mary, I'm sorry that you're having issues. My advice - ignore him for a while, give him some space, hang out with your friends and don't be availabl every time he calls. If he's really interested in you, he'll work hard for you. If he's not, then at least you'll be living your own life and not waiting for him to make a move. Be strong, you're worth it!!
Thank you...!!! I feel better after reading your reply. :) I'm just hanging in there...
hey mary, exactly what she said, give him some space. you prolly over stayed ur welcome yanno? but the only other thing i can think of is he's either cheating why he wont have sex with you or he is loosing interest. so yes. give him some space and dont run to him the moment he wants to see you. give him a chance to miss you. its what i did with my man. i gave him some space, stayed busy and he came running along after saying how much he missed me and such. i do hope this works for you.
Ive been going through alot of changes with my partner. We use to close in the beginning until some major events took place, every since then our relationship has further went down hill..I find myself nagging everyday my main topic cheating his phone being turned off or on virbate and the staying out late or coming home the next day. He say he's tired of me nagging that he is ready to leave me because he claims he isnt cheating.Yet i dont believe him....We're growing further and further apart to the point he talks to me in a negative way...Making comments like if he was cheating he would tell me, And if he was he would tell me and what im going to do nothing but except it or leave him alone. Then he tells me that he loves me to death God knows he do and that he dont want to do that..Yet it's like thats what i want. I feel as though iam loosing my mind im just being paranoid, do i give him space to live his life. All i know know is that i hurting inside and iam getting very angry...What's your thoughts????. oh he even suggested i seek counseling to deal with the problem.
I would tell you the same thing that I told Mary (above), live your own life and give him space to live his. If he really loves you, he will work hard to show you as long as you are not suffocating him :) I used to get very emotional and super needy and, looking back, I really wish I had more respect for myself. You don't want to beg or grovel to ANYONE, let them come to you!
Thank you for the advice, I really need to put more focus into myself and my life.
Hi Mary my boyfriend does the same thing I be trying to hang in their to and be his ride or die and yes he is a mom boy like your boyfriend to but if u have kids then f**k him and just worry about them and keep using your toy he the one thats missing out and try not to think about it and try to do something nice for yourself and if u really love him like i like my dude your will stick in their and whole your head up and then maybe he will come around to his since because 9 time out of 10 it is cheating,porn,female these day thrown they self at man now days so you cant always blame the man its not always they fought but its not health to stress about it all you will do is end up crazy and make yourself sick...keep your head up Mary your not the only woman out here with these problem and i dont know if my advice will help you!
Mary, first there is always the same mistake that womans do . Why do Women and also you expect that guys want sex all the time ,and that they will never say no to sex ?! Trust me on that.
My girlfriend gets also upset and frustrated when i say NO I am to tired.
Hold on woman...do u wanna rape me ?!
You should respect him.and understand when he say no to sex.
But you mentioned that he is every day tired,and dont even have the desire for sex ,that's a warning sign! a serious one.
I have to ask u ,it's a personal question but it will say everything what is happening to your bf.,the question is...does he have difficulties to get hard,or it takes more time ? If the answers are YES then it's everything clear ! Your boyfriend is taking opiates.downers..like painkillers,or heroin and methadone pills,vicodin pills and so on...
My girlfriend gets also upset and frustrated when i say NO I am to tired.
Hold on woman...do u wanna rape me ?!
You should respect him.and understand when he say no to sex.
But you mentioned that he is every day tired,and dont even have the desire for sex ,that's a warning sign! a serious one.
I have to ask u ,it's a personal question but it will say everything what is happening to your bf.,the question is...does he have difficulties to get hard,or it takes more time ? If the answers are YES then it's everything clear ! Your boyfriend is taking opiates.downers..like painkillers,or heroin and methadone pills,vicodin pills and so on...
avoid him and look for a strong,defensive n caring man,,,am sure there is someone out there who deserves you