My boyfriend would rather masterbate than have sex with me!

Tell him his options, if he can stop doing that or if he can't or won't, then you leave him. (if your living with him, tell him if you don't stop I'm staying at a friends or families house and you will tell them why you are there.) You must follow through with what you decided. Becuase he needs to know that he is making the choice (i.e. if you stop going to a class then you just behaved your way out of th class. Where we would rather say you got kicked out of class "people like to place the blame somewhere else (victim mindset)") but you have to ga

Ive him the options. Bc it takes two people for a relationship to work, and he needs to know that there are two sets of values/needs in this relationship.



Also the get thing about dating is that if they do something that makes you feel devalued or something that just bugs you to the point that you couldn't live with this, then you can break up. So if he doesn't stop leave him. Don't stay because he is nice bc what he is doing is not nice. It says a lot about his personalitiy on the inside.

So all this talk about all men do it and the time/energy excuses really aggravate me, I'm tired too sometimes but still would love to climax. When he masturbates he gets satisfied, I get NOTHING!! So no more excuses for it!! Are men that selfish?? What do they expect us to do?? If they spent half the time they spend on masturbating, to make sure the woman was pleased, then it wouldn't be so frustrating. But when they masturbate, and then just give us quickies they are leaving a VEERY unsatisfied, unhappy woman. Its not fair.

I agree its not Fair, Not all men Masturbate. I would like to ask if your anger is just a tiredness of not being fulfilled? Dont be mad at all men, thats not fair to us (the ones who take "Ladies first, Physically"). I love my wife and I will protect her with everything that I am. Even from my self, which means no porn, looking at other woman or anything. The more I pour into her the more I get back. My relationship is amazing, I look after her and make sure all her needs are met and I dont even have to worry about mine bc she is doing the same. Also if i need something I give her feedback about it. Look for men that are wanting to be different.

Yes, my anger comes from not being fulfilled. Like its a one way street, all about him being satisfied, as soon as he is, he's done, and I am left with nothing. That frustration builds to anger.

What are you going to do about it?

I talked with him about it again. Of course, he had no idea what I was talking about when I said I knew what was happening, he acted like the evidence was as big a shock to him as it was to me....surprise! I told him how truly sad it made me, that I felt so undesirable. I explained that written my needs not even being attempted at being met I felt he may be better off alone. He told me if there was something I needed all I had to do was ask.....should I have to ask??? I know what he likes and he doesn't have to ask for it...so again, should I have to ask?

O.k. After reading all of these things I have another situation I need answers on. my fiance and I have been together for 3 years now. When we first got together we had sex 2-4 times a day unti I found out I was pregnant. Due to complications during my pregnancy we could not have intercourse. I found out that my fiance was coming in and masterbating so we had a discussion and I let him know that it hurt my feeling that her would walk right past me and g handle his business alone and that if her was in need I was more then willing to participate in giving him a ha****b or oral. He told me he would quit masterbating. Here we are though almost 2 year later and I am lucky if we have sex 1 a month. I bring it up all the time and he just changes the subject. If I tell him I want to have sex he stays out of the room until I fall asleep. But more then just the masterbation I have 2 major issues which confuss me. First of all he does not watch or look at porn he masterbates everyday right afterwork before he gets in the shower. Also I am a very exual person and I love watching porn and I have toys that I love incorporating into sex and he used to enjoy that stuff but my toys have been packed away for over 2 years now. I almost feel like there is someone at his job that he is very attracted to nd that he comes home and masterbates to the idea of this person and then once he gets off he has not more intrest in sex for the rest of the day. Our sx life has become very routine the 1 time a month we actually do it there is NO foreplay at all and it is the same position everytime. We are in the spooning position with him behind me he will  like that for about 5 mims then I give him oral back the intercourse in the same position he climax's then rolls over and falls asleep. We never kiss he does not touch any part of my body other then my hips. What do I do? The only thing I can figure is that my pregnancy screwed things up in his eyes, He is just not physically attracted to me anymore or there is someone else he is more attracked to??? Please Help!!!!

I say he has to know how this is making you feel, tell him EXACTLY what this is doing to you. Are you willing to live the rest of your life married feeling this way?

Same problem with me. He is usually too tired to have sex and rarely initiates it, but then when I get home after him I find out what he's been up to and he just makes excuses about it. I finally got sick and tired of it and now I'm just not going to initiate sex anymore and if he's turned on I'll tell him to go jerk off to see exactly how lonely it can get. I'll just take care of myself the rest of the time. If it ends the relationship, then so be it. Just be yourself, be all you can be, you can always find another guy who will only want to have sex with you and not care for jerking off. They exist, somewhere.

I see all these posts that I relate to and its making me cry because I feel like I have no hope for finding love with a guy that will be everything I need and more. I know it only happens in the movies....but there is even a guy that replies to the other ladies...and he's saying all the tings I wish my boyfriend would say or feel. If i was confident I would leave my boyfriend. But I'm afraid no other guy will ever want to be with me. That I'm not attractive enough. If I changed my self esteem....would that help with my confidence to leave him and finally find someone that makes me happy?? The biggest thing that makes me feel like no guy will ever want anything to do with me is because I have an STV and I'm currently pregnant. I feel like no guy will ever want to be with me because of both of those reasons..............................I mean, is it such a crime for me to crave love and affection from someone that I'm deeply attracted to??

I have spoken with my boyfriend about this twice now. The last time I was very clear about how much it hurts me. Especially when he does that then is no longer in the mood for me. I have found that he says he is soooo sorry...and then finds a sneakier way to do it. The latest is using a paper towel and throwing it in the trash...really!!?? Come on!!! I've about had it!!!

You know, although I agree with the fundamental principles of Feminism, the book, The Female Unique, turned it into a double standard Hate movement.
The flaw within the Feminism movement is in its very name, for if it was truly a movement for equality, it would have been called The Equality Movement, as it only ever considered that one of the Sexes had to come out of the "Dark Ages" when it came to the beliefs on how the other Sex viewed it.
I.e. In general, Women like to fantasise over a man they perceive to be a perfect mate to have sex with & by such, build their perfect nest with, so to have perfect children (hence all those gossip magazines), whilst in general, Men like to fantasise over the act of having sex, compelled by their own instincts for to keep the species alive. And that is the conflict of the relationship, in general, instinctively Women do it for the purpose of building a nest whilst, in general, Men do it for the purpose of continuing the Species.
But seeing as we are forever running, or attempting to evolve, from our DNA's primordial instincts, in general, Women want to practice nesting just as Men want to practice seeding and because he loves you, he fantasise about seeding with a digital stranger to whom he'll most likely never fantasise over again, so he can fulfil this instinctive compulsion whilst remaining true to his commitment to you, the person who, as it eventually turns out, he has already slept with so many times that the drive to do so has left hem, regardless of how much he might actually enjoy making love with you nor wish to build a life with you, for those matters are of the heart & mind, not the primordial drive of a Species wishing to continue its existence, to which Humans seem to do all they can to deny about themselves. For e.g. how many people do you know acknowledge themselves as animals?
That's the big mystery my dear & virtually all relationships go that way in the end.
& if anyone reading this wants to cry "Sexist", then lol, so Men's "special needs as Men" don't apply equally as every campaign nor infomercial or charity for "A Woman's Special Needs" do?
Or perhaps those reading this think that a man addressing the reality of things in the Western World, things that don't somehow end in everything swaying to the generic Western Female POV, where unquestionably, all perceived negative Female stereotypes are wrong & all perceived positive Female stereotypes are right & it remains the opposite for Men, then wake up, you are the Sexist Pig.

My boyfriend does the same stuff. I've talked to him several times and he blames it on things like being stressed out and not being "in the mood" but he's in the mood to masturbate! It is so frustrating!! He asked me if I would consider marrying him, I love him with all of my heart, but I know that I can't live life with this kind of sex life. He says that he is going to try, but that usually lasts for a week or so. I'm so bummed about it. I have no idea what to do or what to try. I just want to feel like he wants me sexually again.

Had another talk..if that's what you want to call it. It was me upset, him denying it all, even with proof right in front of him.. Told him it was himself or me. Again he said he was sorry, he would stop now that he knew what he stood to lose. Told him again how it made me feel, that I felt I was being cheated out of what should be mine, his intimacy. At first he seemed sincere, then became defensive. Got the old excuse, every man does it, its not cheating etc etc. I think it was when I asked him ” if you're going to only satisfy yourself and not me, what should I do?” That got him thinking. He again said he would stop, I asked why should I believe him, he had tools me that twice before, he said cause this time he knew what he stood to lose. I told him I had no trust in him, that I was sick of sitting at work thinking he was home and ” did he do it yet?” This is my final talk with him about this, if a man hurts you physically and caused this much pain we wouldn't stay so I believe 3 warnings is fair enough.. We'll see what happens now.

just tell him that you are happy with his sex performances. if he cums with in the shortest time, give a smile and thank him.. the he will be free from the tension of making perfect satisfaction...