My boyfriend would rather masterbate than have sex with me!

I think your boyfriend is shagging someone else possibly a brass dump him

Thats what i said to my (now ex/ roommate) but after i get mad he says its my fault we dont have sex because of my personality and hoe i respond to things. It makes me feel unwanted and insecure. I have no idea what to do.

I finally drug the source of our issue out of my bf. he has a masturbation addiction and we are working on it together.

My husband watches pornography constantly!!! Then he layes in bed an masturbate I try to have a conversation with him and he totally turn it on me. He drinks a lot , when he walks on the street he snap pic of women behind or video them walking. I know he has an addiction I try to help him setting counceling appointments but he refuse to go. It is at the point now when he drinks he calls women name in is sleep, taking women out just plain been disrespectful to our union. He want to have anal sex and im not comfortable with that so he bought a dildo and have anal sex with himself and to top it off records it. I think he's an addict on all different levels, gay or bisexual but he disagrees. He says hes attracted to me but I dont see or feel it. Any thoughts?

. I cannot tell you write a relief it is to see that I am NOT the only 1 going to this! I have the world's best botfriend. He is loving supportive and everything you could ever ask a man to be not only for myself for my children that live with us. We have been together for almost 2 years and we live together. I am NOT the most beautiful thing on the block but I am a very attractive 31 year old woman. He is the same age as me and I would think his sex drive would be on the same page as mine. . Well if it is, i woukdbt know. Why would rather masturbate than have sex with me. I have tried things to spice up relationship even going so far as sending "dirty" pictures while he is at work. Still nothing. . I get what I would referr to as pity sex twice a month and it's all very mechanical. Foreplay what's foreplay?. It just doesn't make any sense and regardless it's hurtful. any other advice?

that sounds like me my ex always had a headace or was to tired only when she wanted it was it ok i like you again strange as this might sound did not want to be unfaithfull so i to looked for other guys to get my pleasure im with another women now and i told her what i did she says its the same i was unfaithfull but i still think i was not and i still find pleasure being with other guys (getting my pleasure with them) its so much easier non of the prelime like with women you see you like you do it.im sorry to hear your story but im happy to know im not alone.

So I have a different situation and I need some advice. My boyfriend and I have been dating a year and a half. He has a child with another woman. And he lives with me and my family. I am 25 and he is 30. I am currently in school and cannot afford to move out yet. It is hard to find time to have sex. He works nights and I work afternoons. And parents are usually home..however we have been able to quietly have sex. Or my parents have gone out for a while.. lately its been me on top. And him not doing much. He has some health problems. (Not too serious) that he is using as an excuse. I have found his dirty t-shirts from masterbation around the room. Quite often. And most recently we were fighting and he still masturbated. There have bewn times the family is away and we could have sex. Or me waiting up for him at night to have sex. Buying lingerie and or toys to bring excitment into oir relationship. I feel as though my needs are being neglected. Sex has been quick. No real connection. And almost like a chore rather than him wanting to please me. This is the first time I have come across this situation. The jerking off doesnt bother me its that he has chosen not to do anything with me. Or I have been home and he has chosen to jerk off. I have told him ive been feeling unloved. And I havent gotten any real change. I am a very sexual person. And I am feeling as though he either is too lazy.. jacking off is a quick fix. And that he doesnt want me.. I dont know how to make him see how this is effecting me.. or if I should just let it go. And continue with my life. Satisfying myself. Maybe I am putting too.much emphasis on sex. And I should let him want to be with me?

this is not going to help you but,i was married for more than 20 to a very nice girl and we enjoyed sex but it gets boring !! to have sex with a women is realy so boring in the end because most women want to be touched kissed licked played with in so maney ways by the time you are ready we have lost interest a guy just wants sex do it then get on with life,as we get older we do not want lots of hassle.when i was Young ok yes i could play and be played with and keep going all night but now im old its not the same ok yes i do like to get my new wife to climax with my tounge but for most women that is not enough for her it is she came only handle 1 climax.but for me its finished she will not want me to enter her after that so what do i do, by the way she has tryed to make me climax with her hand but it only happend once in fact she is the only women to be able to make me climax using a hand. so back to your problem i can only say yes it is so much easier for us men to jerk of than to make love we can do it when we like and where we like i can only say and this is not the best salution but find a younger guy.

My boyfriend is the same, we have been together 4years now, when we first got together we were havin sex 2-3 times a day, after 6 months of being togetherI it all went down hill, I keep havin to ask him to have sex with me, I've spoken to him about why he don't want sex with me, he says he's tired, even at weekends we have off, he don't make any moves towards me, ive cried begged and screamed at him, Ive written him letters, he's says he will try and he never does, I love him, he's a good man, but he would rather sit down stairs and pleasure himself than have sex with me, , I really don't know what the answer is anymore!!!!

Going through the exact same thing… 

I've tried "talking" about it with him. Normally, not in a way which would cause a fight or something, but he just won't talk about it.

I consider myself a very sexual person and I have NEVER EVER turned him down. EVER. After finding out about his after work/pre shower daily habit, I told him I understand it's normal for a guy to watch porn and masturbate occasionally and that I'm totally okay with it. However, if it's causing him to not want to have sex with me, I asked him why…? I suggested we do it together. I asked if there's something new or different he would like for me to do. At first he would just deny it. Now he just gets upset and gets all defensive. I know guys are uncomfortable with talking about their feelings, thoughts, needs, etc., but I just don't know what to do.

I've read other forums where guys suggest sprucing things up in the bedroom. Done that. Didn't help. Others claim it's totally normal for a guy to masturbate daily, that guys need lots of sex and whatnot… But all this is super confusing since I AM ALWAYS offering myself!!! Not like begging him for it, although I always imagined that would be fantasy of a guy…? But, like he knows I'd be up for it. The last time we had sex, I felt like I was raping him or something, and he was just totally not into it. It seemed like a chore for him? I think the only reason he gave up resisting was because he did not want to hear me bring up the fact he has the time and energy for masturbating every single day, but can't have sex with me. 

I love him. And everything else in our relationship is awesome. We get along great and are always just having fun and enjoying each other's company. I honestly don't think there's anything wrong with our relationship. I hate to sound conceited, but I considered our relationship completely perfect, to say the least. Up until now/: I read one post on another website where a guy answered the exact same question with: "He just doesn't like F******* you." After reading that I immediately began to cry and wonder… Is this a possible explanation for my bf's behavior? If so, why and how have we been together this long? And why until now has this problem arisen? Ugh this is just so confusing and hurtful. I feel horrible about myself, and it sucks even more that my partner won't even try to listen to me because he may be "ashamed" or "uncomfortable" to "talk" about intimate topics. 

I really hope one of the previous commenters can reply to the more recent posts about their situation… Were you able to find a solution? If so, what was it? Please let us know. Desperately need all/any help and advice from any person relating to my situation.

 

My boyfriend told me he has playboys under his bed today. It really bothers me. I think maybe because I get jealous of other pretty girls easily and I don't want my man to give them attention. A while ago I also saw comments he posted on bitchy girls facebooks from our school and he was saying their all hot and stuff. But I can tell he loves me and cares about me and I try hard to keep him "happy" but I feel completely worthless. Any advice?

hi, im in the same situation as yours, im totally affected..i tried to open a conversation to him about what his doing but he gets angry and telling me its not addiction..this past few days i caught him doing it in the terrace at night and i was ashamed what if somebody sees him doing it, as theres a store in front of our house..he dont want to have sex with me but everyday hes doing it watching porn then masturbate...im really worried about his doings not only to me but for his health aswell...i cant open it up to my friend coz i dont want them to lose their respect to him...is it ok to open it up to him again and talk even he gets angry to me?

Oh My God and i am alone :( i would do the opposite of this :) Topic if I Could .....

They Migghtt be afraid of not being able to please you girls i dunno just a thing i am very afraid of :/

I need some advice as I am going through the same thing. My boyfriend who is 45 and I (38) have been together 8 years. In the beginning we would have sex quite often. But about 2 years ago things changed. The sex went from intercourse to me giving him a BJ and he playing with me with my vibrator. That's it. Nothing more. It has been this way for 2 years. He never initiates the sex. It is always me that has to. It is seriously like making an appointment for sex with him. I will say "can we hook up tonight?" and i will get maybe tomorrow night I am too tired. There is absolutely no affection in our relationship. I have tried kissing him or hugging him and it results in him pushing me away or telling me to stop. He says he is just not an affectionate person. Well I am! So this is where I need some help. Someone from my past found me a few weeks back on Facebook and we have been communicating via messaging. We were very close about 12 years ago and the sex was amazing. But under uncontrollable circumstances we lost contact with each other. Through our chats he has told me that he has always been in love with me and that he wants to be with me. He is 61 now. The 22 year age difference doesn't bother me. What is bothering me is, is my starvation for affection and sex driving me to really consider leaving my bf for my past lover? My bf and I have a wonderful relationship (minus the affection and sex). I have asked him if he is not in love with me anymore but he says he is. I asked if he is not attracted to me anymore and he says that he still is. I feel that there is definitely something going on when he has no problem masturbating to live webcams online but yet won't initiate the sex with me. I am so tired of having to please myself. I am so sexually frustrated that I don't know what to do.I feel we are more like roommates than bf/gf. I don't want to leave my bf for my past lover because my hormones are in complete overdrive but I am almost to the point of giving him the ultimatum. Either he tells me the truth of what is really going on with him or I am out. I have told him to be honest with me even if it will hurt me. Because he has no idea how much he is hurting me now but keeping me in the dark. So please I could use the advice on whether I should weather the storm out with my bf or just move on with my past lover.