My boyfriend would rather masterbate than have sex with me!

You need to do it with him when u no he is doing it just walk in an grab his penis an jerk him off, do it for him he will love it

Sorry to tell you, but this is not going to get any better. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and it started out exactly how you are describing your relationship now... its been 3 years since he has so much as hugged me. We sleep in seperate rooms he does not even tell me he loves me back unless I beg him to, the only person he will flirt with is his ex through text messaging... or he will see her at mutual friends houses for a little bit. (not cheating yet, but I know it probably will come up)

He became extremely emotionally/ verbally abusive, I no longer see my friends and or family I literally live in the back of the house and make no noise, use no lights unless he allows it. My very presence (even if I say or do nothing to pester him irritates him) The only time we interact is when I have to obey an order or when he is pointing out all of my flaws. I would leave but I have no one and no where to turn to. I am literally stuck and he knows this and he treats me like c**p. My suggestion is this. If you are on this road, get out now, because it's only going to get worse, and i would hate for others to live the life I am living now... I am sorry, I am being honest.

I know how u feel my partner seems to have gone right off me he says he hasn't but nothing happening in the bedroom anymore I get I've got a bad head bad tummy I'm tried ... And now my 14 year old son has come to live with us I get that now I can't he could hear , I'm sick of it we have been together 3 years and life was great our sex life too he always said to me plz let's not let this ever stop yet he's the one that has stopped im 37 he's 44 and act like an old man .... I've also found out that he'd been on dating sites but he said that was down to me and it meant nothing ... Now I look at him and think what are you up too he locks he's phone and pad goes to the loo with his phone I don't believe anything he tells me , I sit and wonder what has my life come to I've moved from my home town which is 4 and a half hrs away left my life my friends my family for him what do I do I've no one to talk to he doesn't like me talking nor making new friends I look so different now I have a life before and enjoyed it now I look at myself and hate what I look like and so far from happy

Hi Guest
It sounds like your partner is not happy in your relationship either the dating site not wanting to have sex and the bathroom trips with his phone and trying to keep things from you.
You are not happy in the relationship anymore it may just be time to move on or a the very least prepare for him ending the relationship. No doubt in the long run it would be much better for you and your son if the relationship is making you miserable is it worth staying there. Starting to prepare to move on now will make things much easier you can decide if it is time to move back home or find your own place but with what he is doing now if not already there is a good chance there is or will be someone else he is seeing. You and your son deserve better.

I would move on. I don't think they will ever change or want to get help. I been in a off again on again relationship for 11 years and it doesn't get better. My boyfriend was also on other sites like collar me and pof and match and doing porn and constantly masterbating. It just doesn't get better just worse. Our relationship wasn't all that great for me. I am always helping with money problems and giving my time and effort while they are lazy and giving there time and attention to themselves and complete strangers on line.

i thinf tats degrading

I would move on. It doesn't get better, just worse. You deserve better and my experience for 11 years in a off again on again relationship is they aren't concerned enough to make any real changes or to get any help with their addictions.
My boyfriend on top of masterbating too much was on other sites like collar me and pof and match. he had 14 files on different women from 100 + miles north, South and East and West of him. As well as pics of his ex he would still prefer to masterbate over ( 2 pics) and never any pics of me. Also could never find pics of me or him and I as a couple pic together. Just loads of porn pics and another ex girlfriend or 2 as he continued on and off again friendships and dating ect with them at same time as well. Always a triangle or rectangle of people. I think now he is also bi and is suddenly last two years really into anal sex and anal dildos.
We hardly ever had sex. He was too tired or upset stomach or headache, cold, flu, allergies or stressed from work and his constant financial problems. He always needed money for his over drawn checkbook or some extra bill and never helped with buying food or much when we went out. Never bought gifts. Only 2 small gifts over 11 years and never remembered my birthday or got Christmas gifts or valentines gifts. No cards for last 6 years. I believe my boyfriend was a narsissits and had some bipolar disorder as well as an addiction to alcohol and sex addiction.

Somehow it's always turned back to blaming us. I too feel more like a roomate than a lover. They will just make you feel worse about yourself and more insecure. I think some people really get off on that and it's called torture. I found out my boyfriend was into the s& m lifestyle that doesn't include me but other mistresses. He is into mental torture mind games and being a slave. Unfortunately he treated me like a slave that paid for his company. Leave while you can. Don't get married for they are not going to ever stop lying to you.

Some men can't be bothered to initiate the sex, because it's "too time consuming" or "too much work".

I had a gf once who wanted me to kiss for hours , literally 45 minutes before starting an intercourse and Personally , I'm not really a fan of sex. I'm more of a "blowjob" guy, pardon my honesty.
So there is a number of factors that might cause his behaviour.

Masturbation is natural for men, sometimes I masturbate once a week , sometimes I masturbate to the point it hurts.
It's easy to and fun to do.

Also I don't really like initiating the sexual intercourse either , I am good at taking lead ,but as long as my gf doesn't initiate , I don't have to have sex at all. For me sex is something I do for her , not for myself.

The women I watch in porn , they're pretty hot, but I have no emotional connection to them so it's just a quick release , sometimes when you look at the same porn the next day, it isn't as attractive anymore.

I hope this might let you see the problem from different perspective.

I am having same problem he will tell me no then go for a shower. Its a small apartment with thin walls i can hear him and yes its making me depressed and feel like somethings wrong with me. I dont know what to do ive read the articles tried to approach it non accusingly and calmly and he gets so defensive denys it to the death and flips out on me i feel so badly i just want to feel wanted hes an amazing man but this is killing me

Omg u just described my relationship to the T...like gave me goosebumps it is so exactly the same except we still sleep in same bed but usually he manages to push me onto the floor then wake up and act like he didnt know he did it even tho i know he knows...but i love him and once in a while that man i love shines through but its getting fewer and fewer once in awhiles :(

I'm pregnant and struggling with the lack of foreplay and sex with my partner. I wouldn't mind if we just had foreplay, but even this is short before sex. Before me he always said he had a high sex drive and it was very good at the beginning of the relationship. When we are intimate, it's fantastic. I just feel that masterbating is taking over our intimate times. I'm beginning to feel like he's prefers his ex to me, as he'd brag they were very sexually active until they split up. I'm really feeling the divide between us. I just want yo cry out loud, but he says I get in a mood if we don't have sex. Reason is I feel unwanted 90% of the time when he says no, or I'm tired.

"I try to initiate it and he rejects me"

Ok I'm seeing this statement a lot from you ladies and I don't think you're doing what you think you're doing. Please describe what you mean by "I try to initiate it". I can almost guarantee that you're making assumptions without actually knowing what your bf or husband wants.

It is cheating. He is looking at photos and getting off to them. Therefore he's imagining being inside of these women. Whats the difference? Your supposed to make your partner feel secure. When a man finds another woman more attractive, or attractive enough to get off to her... Leaving you aside, he is destroying that security. Screw that.... Life is to short. There's way to many men on this planet to put up with that.

I've been with my guy two years and yes he most certainly would rather masturbate then be with me. I'm down for anything even open relationship. I've brought it up to him more then once an of course he tells me I'm crazy. The only way we have sex is if I do everything, he has never kissed sucked my breast nipples never went down below never even touched my lady parts with his mouth of hands. Ill be sleeping an he will get up to f**k himself. I'm cute an notg too big not too small wtf at a lose