So, here's my story:
I'm 44 almost 45 years old and have been smoking about a 1/4 every 3 days for the last 20 years or so. I have been working at a gas station on 3rd shift for 5 years and this has greatly aided in my continued addiction because I am able to (and yes I am ashamed to admit this) smoke while at work. I would get up in the afternoon, smoke, watch Netflix and play video games, take a nap, wake up, get high and go to work. While at work I would smoke a bowl or two to make the time pass. Don't get me wrong, it's the easiest job I have had in my life and I kind of enjoy it, however it is a dead end position and while I make decent money, it's just not going to go anywhere. I decided last week that I am going to quit in order to find a job that has the possibility of being something more than a day to day method of paying for my weed.
I have tried once or twice in the past to "cut down" or "ease off" but those attempts have never been successful, so this time it is going to be cold turkey. I am currently planning on trying to do things like exercising and drinking plenty of fluids as well as avoiding my old smoking buddies.
To steal a motto from another addiction group, I am just planning on trying to take it one day at a time. I will attempt to post the results of my journey as I go. Once more into the breach, eh?
I'm about five days sober, and I don't want to vape/smoke ever again. I'm simply unproductive when I'm high all the time, and then frustrated because of it. It's like weed restricts my thinking, and therefore, my movements. I know this substance like the back of my hand....when I'm daily, I'm not living up to my potential at all...heck, even preparing a meal is a huge chore. When I'm not using at all, chores are easier, and that leaves more time for things that feed the mind and soul. Marijuana has been a major player in my life for the past 20 years....I want the opposite to be true for the next twenty years, and beyond.
Thanks to you all for taking the time to post your stories. It's comforting and encouraging to know that I'm not alone in this struggle.
So I started smoking as a 16 year old, I'm 25 now, and have been smoking (vaping) pretty consistently for the past 7 years. I've never had a problem with weed or felt like it negatively affected me until a few weeks ago. I was a college athlete, a good student, and am still in school now working on prerequisites for graduate school. I exercise regularly and a lot, I'm in good shape and I also still play soccer a few times a week. I'n college I would stop smoking for the 3 month long season and then pick up where I left off once it ended. So I have had breaks and I've never felt any worse for ware after them other than a typical craving. Now that I've given my back story here's where my problems started to occur.
I have been going through a breakup for the past month, with someone who I loved a great deal, and it came out of nowhere for me. Vaping herb helped me forget about it and I never felt any negative effects throughout the first couple weeks. A little over two weeks ago I went out, got drunk with some friends, and did a small amount of mdma (or so I think it was mdma). The next day I felt completely hungover and thought "ok, lets cure this with some good old weed!" So my brother and I vaped 2 large volcano vaporizer bags with a mix of high THC and high CBD content weed. We both felt incredibly too high and about 30 minutes later my heart started pounding uncontrollably and I thought I was having a heart attack. For four hours it came in waves, never as intense as the initial incident but I still felt crazy, my heart wouldn't stop pounding, and I couldn't think straight. I found out I was having a pannick attack. My symptoms have mainly subsided over the last couple weeks, but I tried taking three hits of an indica and then tried twice last week to to take 3 hits of a 1 to 1 CBD THC strain called Charlotte's Web. That actually didn't mess with me too much, I went and played soccer after the CW. But this past Saturday I had some critical mass, another 1 to 1 strain and it left me feeling weird and I could feel my heartbeat again. Since then, 5 days ago I haven't vaped anything or used marijuana at all. I went to my doctor on Monday and got blood tests and an EKG which revealed that I was completely normal and my heartbeat looked fine. So the past few days I've had a roller coaster of emotions, feeling OK, feeling depressed (mainly due to the break up), feeling anxious, and the kicker which is that my head feels weird. More towards the back and sides of my brain, cerebellum, and parietal lobes.
Has anything like this happened to other people? Im wondering if it's anxiety and if I should try to get some xanex, or if it's just my brain establishing its normal chemical balances from years of marijuana abuse. I can do all of my daily activities just fine, I just feel incredibly off, I have no family history of mental illness and I'm normally a very outgoing and relaxed person. I'm honestly just afraid. I'm hoping someone on here can give me some sort of insight, even just words of support would be helpful.
Thank you all for reading my story, and I hope to hear from one or some of you soon!
I quit for about a month, and have been vaping again...about a week now...but I'm confident I'll be off the wagon soon (is that how that goes??). After having taken a break, and sampled again, I can clearly see the benefits of quitting compared to partaking. For me, it will just have to be cold turkey. I'm just so much more productive when I'm not. It doesn't make sense, and I don't like it, but that's just how it is. Reading every post in this forum taught me that I'm not alone on that.
For you, it might be not vaping until you feel completely over this past episode...or maybe you're an all or nothing person, too. Give it a little more time...maybe workout a little more, to help get the thc out of your system. Personally, I would be wary of taking Xanax, due to potentially becoming addicted, but I don't know enough about it to really say.
If you keep feeling your heart, there's another heart test the doc can do, where you wear a monitor during the day.
I am a 30 year old male and smoked Canadas finest pretty heavily for as long as I can remember. I have decided to give up burning for new career and simply put a cleaner lifestyle. On average I would smoke roughly 1 - 2 grams in a sitting ( wrapped in a century Sam *cigar paper* ) at least once a day and at times I have had up to 10 blunts start to finish at times with a buddy or two in my hayday. Lol it makes me shake my head that I even had that much weed on a daily basis for Pete sake but here I am on day 4 with little to no consumption.
My eyes most notably are the most aches and discomfort I am experiencing along with my body at times. I am dreading going to bed because i now have dreams...wow....However every other day I have had three toots of a roach to keep me from going batshit crazy. Thsee three toots will come to a halt once the roach is gonzo but all in all I feel like I'm making a real kick ass decision for me and my health moving foward. Good luck my friends drink juice and pray to the Lord that no one pisses you off because you will probably kill them lol. Jokes but seriously you can do this and so can I. .bye for now quitters !
Hello All,
I am a 48 year old female mom of two children one in middle school and one a freshmen in high school. I was introduced to pot from my husband at age 19. Do the math its longer than I ever imagined it would have been. At first it was fun to get high, we had a lot of fun times together. It starting out as his thing which eventually turned into my thing over time... I wasn't big on drinking alcohol with my friends and if I did go out with them I would leave early so I could go to his house smoke pot, eat junk and watch a movie, etc...
I stopped when I was pregnant at 31 and 33 both times and with the feeling of pregnancy you feel amazing during that time so I didn't feel the side effects of withdrawals or at least I thought I didn't. I always said to myself I won't smoke once the kids are born - but the truth is a little here and a little there turned into a $400 month habit. It started slow and increased over time. I had a lot of free time on my hands and loved to garden and smoke in the yard..
Then during one of our stressful times, I bought a pack of cigarettes then took up smoking and was a closet smoker for years... Both of which I was ashamed about. I am a PTA mom at school, worked in the classrooms, was the room mom for both kids, etc... I went and still go to the gym everyday but when I got home and kids were gone I would light up both ways. Not sure which is worse the guilt of my secret or the habit... BOTH. I was afraid of cancer but didn't want to quit either. I was addicted....
Since I do have some anxiety which I know now was due to high daily usage, I always justified what I did with "it helps ease my stress or anxieties". That my friends is only a temporary fix. Keep in mind my husband who is 4 years older than I was not only an enabler but he too was a user but only after work and on the weekends - so this is what we did for years....
As the kids were getting older they were starting to inquire about smelling smoke in the yard... I always blamed it on a neighbor. Honestly, I was only fooling myself. Eventually what happened is I numbed alot of my pain from an unhappy marriage - mainly due to poor communication and issues being swept under the carpet by both of us which was also a result of smoking too much pot - I couldn't deal with reality and confrontation and feeling like a loser mom when we knew we shouldn't be doing it.
I recently found out I am an HSP person which stands for highly sensitive person with a high intuition which accounts for about 20% of the population. Which means I take in more sensory information than most. Recently, I almost divorced my husband. When he stopped his habit due to his father who was diagnosed with cancer, I felt threatened - he was doing the right thing and I wasn't. The one thing we had in common we no longer had... That was my pot brain thinking....
So here I am not to sound like a holy roller but I recently met an amazing friend who I confided in at the gym I belong to. She could see how broken I was, I call her my little angel. I decided to go to her weekly prayer group and met some amazing women all of whom had overcome big struggles in their lives through their spiritual path. It made me feel not so alone.... I always felt like God forgot about me, but the truth is I was pushing him away because I didn't feel worthy. I was living and making poor choices in my life and I wasn't willing to give up my habit - I was feeling stuck and lonely - honestly I had never tried to quit aside the two pregnancies. It was a true viscous cycle.
Well, two weeks ago, I had finally hit my breaking point. I broke all of my cigarettes in half through out anything that I had in the house including the herb. I knew it wouldn't be an easy road expecting the worst.... In my heart though I knew it wasn't right for my myself and my families sake. I had to face my issues I felt it in my gut. I didn't plan on doing this until that morning. They say that sometimes a stronger force guides us.... It hasn't been easy I have emotional outbursts, I never know when I will break out into tears and I am finding my way spiritually and trying to mend the mess I've made of my life from being selfish and taking the easy way out instead of facing the truth.
I am still working and will continue replacing good habits with the bad ones and reading blogs like this when I am week. I did recently started back at my old church which has been a relief for me to help heal... You have to believe that out of our deepest struggles comes strength. I am thankful that I found this blog and will continue to work on becoming calmer on my own and a better person.
I too feel that marijuana should be legalized but mainly for cancer patients as it does help with nausea and help ease pain. For those of us who used it as a crutch to numb ourselves, it eventually takes over your life... Remember we are all so blessed in many ways. Try to find the positives in your life the choice to change is in you and you alone. We have to fight the demons that the "fog pot brain" recalls and remember why you wanted to quit in the first place. That's what I do every day... Don't be like me and procrastinate with guilt it binds you of your full potential in life and before you know it you'll be 50 and trying to relearn a better way of life.
Best of luck to all of you - including myself.