Hi, I am a 20 year old man/boy university student and been a happy smoker/stoner, and I have been through anxiety, panic attacks and depersonalization too.
So here is my story, and at the end I will write down what helped me to recover from it.
I was a smoker for around 3 months, I always smoked from a bong, never lit a joint or blunt.
I smoked every weekend but sometimes 2x or 3x in a week, once I smoked 2 times in one day, but it went all right. Sometimes I drank alcohol but NEVER did anything except weed and alcohol and I never mixed these two things. And I would like to mention here, that I am a highly sensitive person, which means that maybe the weed affects me differently, but I never researched this kind of thing.
At the beginning my highs went all right, except the first trip, but you know what is the first trip, so I don’t count that.
After a while sometimes I started feeling something strange, some kind of stress while I was high and I read about it that “you need to slow down” or “build up a tolerance”, I didn’t believed in that.
Once I was smoking with my GF and we got high I hit the bong 2 times in 5 minutes and I started to feel that strange stress, but I decided to smoke more, and I noticed that after 5 hits I was not high, just a little bit,I was high but not very, I was nervous, but it was all right, I didn’t had a panic attack or anxiety, but I stopped smoking cause my GF was way more high.
The next day went alright, nothing special, I was completely all right, not a single sign what will come the second day.
The second I was anxious, I felt horrible like I had a fever or I was ill. And afternoon it get worse and worse, I started to get panic attacks like “I am going to die” or “I will be never the same”. It was the worst feeling of my life, you, who reading this, you know what is that feeling, or someone before me described it, so I don’t want to describe it again. And I knew that the weed was the same, because I bought from my dealer more and I smoked the rest of it without problems.
After day to day, my panic attacks get better and better, but never went away completely. Here I would like to mention that I completely stopped smoking weed. But I felt that I am not myself, hard to describe it, I felt that something was wrong, I felt that I am just inside my head, and the world around me “is just happening”. I had a fear that something was broken in my head.
And then I started to search on the web for this, like you did (that is why you are probably here, reading this) and I decided to write this down, because I know out there lots of people need help.
And after 2 weeks I get really better, if I would know what I know now I would be all right within a week, so I would like to write down how I get back to myself, maybe it will help someone out there searching for this kind of help.
For anxiety unfortunately I found nothing working for me… these things just happened with me and I was completely lost, the biggest fear was that I will stay in that state forever, it was hard not to think about those bad feelings.
But I started to work about myself when I was not anxious. I went out many times with my dog, it was very good for both of us.
I started a harder workout program, whenever I started feeling that I am anxious or I think about those bad feelings, I started to run up and down in staircase 10 times, after it I did 50 push-ups, and it helped me a lot. I started yoga, but it didn’t help for me, but once I read that it helped for someone so I mention it, maybe it will help for you.
After a while I found out that workout release serotonin, which helped me to feel more myself again.
I did research on the internet and found good things, I am not going to link them here, because on lots of site it is not allowed to share external links so I just copy things here which helped for me:
-----BEGINING OF CITATIONS-----
It’s the same story over and over again. Someone smoked marijuana with a group of friends and within 24 hours, usually sooner, they begin feeling unreal, depersonalized, foggy and detached. They are convinced that the marijuana had to have been laced with something that created this uncomfortable and distressing sensation. They worry that some sort of “damage” has taken place inside their brain. When they contact the people they partied with, they are amazed to learn everyone else is feeling fine. Now they become very confused, worried and fearful.
This is not an unusual course of events. I hear this story time again and again, in almost exactly the same detail. The individual is positive they have caused damage to themselves even though they are the only one experiencing these symptoms. They often resort to “doctor shopping” and taking medications which do little to resolve the problem. Frustration enters the picture as feelings of depersonalization/derealization often intensify.
There is a simple explanation for this chain of events. Once understood, recovery is not difficult. It requires a simple yet specific process.
Resolution of Depersonalization Due to Marijuana Use.
No matter what the trigger for these physical sensations, whether prescription medications, recreational drugs, alcohol abuse, or even prolonged stress/ illness, the effects of the initial event will eventually dissipate. Unfortunately, by this time, the mind has become fatigued by the habit of constant fearful worry. This continuous habit of introspection is accompanied by the release of adrenaline throughout the body, heightening already intrusive symptoms and further tiring an already exhausted mind. More fear is induced and the cycle of fear- adrenaline- fear begins. A habit is born and if not approached correctly, one becomes entrenched in trapped feelings and fears permanent damage. Nothing could be farther from the truth but one must learn how to interrupt these sensations in order to pick up the pieces and return to normal living.
Resolution of this sensation is not difficult. It is based upon a Two-Fold Approach:
(1) Understand your Brain- Learning how to refresh the fatigued mind. Thinking more productively. Through behavioral modification one is able to tame a mind that is overactive and unproductive.
The mind quickly wraps around whatever it is dealing with, to create a sense of closure, whether the facts are true or not. Therefore, if one has recently smoked marijuana and is feeling “strange” or “odd” afterward, the mind, by process of elimination, deduces that some damage must have occurred. Every free moment is spent in self-blame and fearful worry that permanent damage has occurred when nothing could be further from the truth.
The mind quickly becomes exhausted, due to the continuous loop of worried thoughts. A tired mind is far less resilient and naturally the longer this loop continues, the foggier the mind becomes. The person may even lose their appetite, develop insomnia and find it difficult to concentrate or socialize with friends and family. They might even take time off from work, in order to recuperate, when this is completely unnecessary.
Once they understand what this is, what it is not and what to do, they are home free. It is important to note that one is not ill, nor have they ever been, which is why medication is not required. In a reactive individual, medication often may exacerbate the problem. This is merely the product of a tired mind and nothing more. The marijuana may have been the trigger but it is not the only trigger.
(2) Food Therapy– Learning to use the correct foods, one already has in their own kitchen, to work for you rather than against you. Boosting Serotonin levels in the brain naturally and maintaining balanced blood sugar levels in the body to create a far less reactive mind and body. The correct foods will accelerate recovery when used in tandem with the proper behavioral modification techniques.
This two-fold approach is all that is required to overcome feelings of depersonalization, created by marijuana use, or any other trigger. It does not require a long or drawn out process at all. It does require that one follow the specific process, leading to rapid relief and permanent recovery.
-----END OF CITATIONS-----
After this I did another research what can boost serotonin in blood, because that really helped in my recovery.
B-complex
Eat meals with lots of protein.
Include fermented foods and drinks in your diet.
Get plenty of Exercise
Spend time on the sun as much as possible
Reduce Stress (I know, as a university student, that this is not easy)
Eliminate sugar or at least drastically reduce sugar (every single webpage recommended it)
Focus on Emotional Healing (I know it is not easy, but try to think positive things, be optimistic)
In the first week I have been through hell, and I promised to myself that if I will ever find the recovery for this, then I will write down how I recovered from it, to help other people. After this I will post this on as many sites as many I can so maybe I can help someone.
After two weeks I got high and everything was alright.
If you had anxiety after weed, and after that you think that you are recovered, just think about smoking weed and getting high, if you get nervous from the thinking then don't smoke it, wait until the bad feeling went away or give it a try when you will be in another mental state.
So after my bad anxiety and panic attacks I was able to smoke weed without problem, hope I can help you.
And that is all I can tell you. These things helped me and I would like to help to other people with this post.
The last sentence from me to you: I know it is very hard now, you are here because you have these problems, and I believe that I can help you and you will be all right, just believe in yourself and be optimistic like I did, it was hard but I did it, and promise me one thing: don't you dare give up on yourself.
So here is my story, and at the end I will write down what helped me to recover from it.
I was a smoker for around 3 months, I always smoked from a bong, never lit a joint or blunt.
I smoked every weekend but sometimes 2x or 3x in a week, once I smoked 2 times in one day, but it went all right. Sometimes I drank alcohol but NEVER did anything except weed and alcohol and I never mixed these two things. And I would like to mention here, that I am a highly sensitive person, which means that maybe the weed affects me differently, but I never researched this kind of thing.
At the beginning my highs went all right, except the first trip, but you know what is the first trip, so I don’t count that.
After a while sometimes I started feeling something strange, some kind of stress while I was high and I read about it that “you need to slow down” or “build up a tolerance”, I didn’t believed in that.
Once I was smoking with my GF and we got high I hit the bong 2 times in 5 minutes and I started to feel that strange stress, but I decided to smoke more, and I noticed that after 5 hits I was not high, just a little bit,I was high but not very, I was nervous, but it was all right, I didn’t had a panic attack or anxiety, but I stopped smoking cause my GF was way more high.
The next day went alright, nothing special, I was completely all right, not a single sign what will come the second day.
The second I was anxious, I felt horrible like I had a fever or I was ill. And afternoon it get worse and worse, I started to get panic attacks like “I am going to die” or “I will be never the same”. It was the worst feeling of my life, you, who reading this, you know what is that feeling, or someone before me described it, so I don’t want to describe it again. And I knew that the weed was the same, because I bought from my dealer more and I smoked the rest of it without problems.
After day to day, my panic attacks get better and better, but never went away completely. Here I would like to mention that I completely stopped smoking weed. But I felt that I am not myself, hard to describe it, I felt that something was wrong, I felt that I am just inside my head, and the world around me “is just happening”. I had a fear that something was broken in my head.
And then I started to search on the web for this, like you did (that is why you are probably here, reading this) and I decided to write this down, because I know out there lots of people need help.
And after 2 weeks I get really better, if I would know what I know now I would be all right within a week, so I would like to write down how I get back to myself, maybe it will help someone out there searching for this kind of help.
For anxiety unfortunately I found nothing working for me… these things just happened with me and I was completely lost, the biggest fear was that I will stay in that state forever, it was hard not to think about those bad feelings.
But I started to work about myself when I was not anxious. I went out many times with my dog, it was very good for both of us.
I started a harder workout program, whenever I started feeling that I am anxious or I think about those bad feelings, I started to run up and down in staircase 10 times, after it I did 50 push-ups, and it helped me a lot. I started yoga, but it didn’t help for me, but once I read that it helped for someone so I mention it, maybe it will help for you.
After a while I found out that workout release serotonin, which helped me to feel more myself again.
I did research on the internet and found good things, I am not going to link them here, because on lots of site it is not allowed to share external links so I just copy things here which helped for me:
-----BEGINING OF CITATIONS-----
It’s the same story over and over again. Someone smoked marijuana with a group of friends and within 24 hours, usually sooner, they begin feeling unreal, depersonalized, foggy and detached. They are convinced that the marijuana had to have been laced with something that created this uncomfortable and distressing sensation. They worry that some sort of “damage” has taken place inside their brain. When they contact the people they partied with, they are amazed to learn everyone else is feeling fine. Now they become very confused, worried and fearful.
This is not an unusual course of events. I hear this story time again and again, in almost exactly the same detail. The individual is positive they have caused damage to themselves even though they are the only one experiencing these symptoms. They often resort to “doctor shopping” and taking medications which do little to resolve the problem. Frustration enters the picture as feelings of depersonalization/derealization often intensify.
There is a simple explanation for this chain of events. Once understood, recovery is not difficult. It requires a simple yet specific process.
Resolution of Depersonalization Due to Marijuana Use.
No matter what the trigger for these physical sensations, whether prescription medications, recreational drugs, alcohol abuse, or even prolonged stress/ illness, the effects of the initial event will eventually dissipate. Unfortunately, by this time, the mind has become fatigued by the habit of constant fearful worry. This continuous habit of introspection is accompanied by the release of adrenaline throughout the body, heightening already intrusive symptoms and further tiring an already exhausted mind. More fear is induced and the cycle of fear- adrenaline- fear begins. A habit is born and if not approached correctly, one becomes entrenched in trapped feelings and fears permanent damage. Nothing could be farther from the truth but one must learn how to interrupt these sensations in order to pick up the pieces and return to normal living.
Resolution of this sensation is not difficult. It is based upon a Two-Fold Approach:
(1) Understand your Brain- Learning how to refresh the fatigued mind. Thinking more productively. Through behavioral modification one is able to tame a mind that is overactive and unproductive.
The mind quickly wraps around whatever it is dealing with, to create a sense of closure, whether the facts are true or not. Therefore, if one has recently smoked marijuana and is feeling “strange” or “odd” afterward, the mind, by process of elimination, deduces that some damage must have occurred. Every free moment is spent in self-blame and fearful worry that permanent damage has occurred when nothing could be further from the truth.
The mind quickly becomes exhausted, due to the continuous loop of worried thoughts. A tired mind is far less resilient and naturally the longer this loop continues, the foggier the mind becomes. The person may even lose their appetite, develop insomnia and find it difficult to concentrate or socialize with friends and family. They might even take time off from work, in order to recuperate, when this is completely unnecessary.
Once they understand what this is, what it is not and what to do, they are home free. It is important to note that one is not ill, nor have they ever been, which is why medication is not required. In a reactive individual, medication often may exacerbate the problem. This is merely the product of a tired mind and nothing more. The marijuana may have been the trigger but it is not the only trigger.
(2) Food Therapy– Learning to use the correct foods, one already has in their own kitchen, to work for you rather than against you. Boosting Serotonin levels in the brain naturally and maintaining balanced blood sugar levels in the body to create a far less reactive mind and body. The correct foods will accelerate recovery when used in tandem with the proper behavioral modification techniques.
This two-fold approach is all that is required to overcome feelings of depersonalization, created by marijuana use, or any other trigger. It does not require a long or drawn out process at all. It does require that one follow the specific process, leading to rapid relief and permanent recovery.
-----END OF CITATIONS-----
After this I did another research what can boost serotonin in blood, because that really helped in my recovery.
B-complex
Eat meals with lots of protein.
Include fermented foods and drinks in your diet.
Get plenty of Exercise
Spend time on the sun as much as possible
Reduce Stress (I know, as a university student, that this is not easy)
Eliminate sugar or at least drastically reduce sugar (every single webpage recommended it)
Focus on Emotional Healing (I know it is not easy, but try to think positive things, be optimistic)
In the first week I have been through hell, and I promised to myself that if I will ever find the recovery for this, then I will write down how I recovered from it, to help other people. After this I will post this on as many sites as many I can so maybe I can help someone.
After two weeks I got high and everything was alright.
If you had anxiety after weed, and after that you think that you are recovered, just think about smoking weed and getting high, if you get nervous from the thinking then don't smoke it, wait until the bad feeling went away or give it a try when you will be in another mental state.
So after my bad anxiety and panic attacks I was able to smoke weed without problem, hope I can help you.
And that is all I can tell you. These things helped me and I would like to help to other people with this post.
The last sentence from me to you: I know it is very hard now, you are here because you have these problems, and I believe that I can help you and you will be all right, just believe in yourself and be optimistic like I did, it was hard but I did it, and promise me one thing: don't you dare give up on yourself.
Thankyou very much for this. I know the feeling, it's like a living hell. My lowest point was when I felt I was getting no dopamine to my brain. But you have to keep going and push through it. To anyone out there suffering from Depersonalisation or paranoia from weed you can get better, It takes work though and taking the things in this post into account. I'm still suffering from a blank mind now but I no longer feel depressed, so that's a step in the right direction:) My anxiety has also decreased, thank God. You just gotta keep moving. Keep yourself moving and going. Write things out and do exercise. And please if you can help it, don't give in to medication. You have to listen to your mind and body, listen to your depression, not block it up and suppress it with meds. GL :)
-Check back after 2 years.
Till today I don't know what an actual f**k happened back then, probably I was novice smoker and my mind didn't liked it LOL. I am more experienced since then, I read a lot of these forums and try help people, also helped with my English too :D. So, many would like to know if it is possible to smoke weed after a huge panic attack or totally depersonalization.
Yeah, in my case I was totally normal after around a month or something and went back to smoke weekly once or twice, but everyone is different, everyone's brain is wired up differently, and one will need to accept that weed is not for everyone, what I did it helped me recover, I hope everyone will find a way to heal his woulds.
I think this is all, I think sometimes I will check back here and see the comments but probably will never come back to here again,
Best regards, stay positive and smoke responsible, DealR out.
When I was at the bottom I was thinking about seeing a doctor but I wanted to wait minimum 3 months before it, never wanted to suppress myself with f*****g meds, I have depressed friends or those sh**s and they're only skeletons, maan, I feel sorry for them :(
what did u do? how did u overcome it?
Hi everyone. So I wanted to tell my story now. It is scary af, and I don’t wanna remember it but it is the part of my life now.
One time me and my friend decided to smoke some weed with the blunt. So first we met the dealer then we went to her house to check if she has any skins, but she didn’t so we decided to smoke from blunt.
It was just the second time when I was smoking the weed. I remember first time was good. I felt relaxed and I was happy. We were laughing (I was smoking with the same friend as I did second time) Second time was terrible. I remember firstly we were to the park bc we wanted to sit down. Firstly I was high af and I was laughing later after 1-2mins something hit me. I jut stood up and I said I need to go home bc world around me didn’t feel real. I was so scared. I thought that I’m in the movie or in the dream. My heart beat was really fast, my mouth was really dry. I remember when I came back home I just couldn’t sleep and in my mind I was saying “everything is real” and I said it about 1000 times. I had massive panic attack. When I was laying in the bed my eyes were rolling around. I thought that when I’ll go to sleep everything is going to be alright next day. But it wasn’t. I have this f*****g shitty feeling (I’m feeling like in the movie, it feels that I have clouds around my brains, I have wall which is made of glass in front of my forehead- in front of my brains, or sometimes I’m even thinking that I have died, and now I’m living in the different dimension like life after when we will die) yh, I have it for 77 days. Sometimes I have better days, but I never felt normal again like I were before that time when I was smoking weed for the second time. God, you’s please help me. I can’t live with this feeling anymore it is killing me in inside. I’m regretting so much that I smoked weed and become friends with wrong people. Please help me... What should I do? Bc I’m really tired of it. Really I can’t no more. I can’t stop thinking about this sh*t. I’m thinking about this time when it happend every single day, bc I just can’t stop. Now after that accident I started to think deeper. My brains are thinking about things like: Who created the world, who created people, why I was born a person not an animal or something? Really my mind is killing me for 77 days. I missed to be normal really I would give everything just to be normal again. Please give me some advices , bc I’m really tired of this feeling. Really I want to end it. Thank you for help everyone!
One time me and my friend decided to smoke some weed with the blunt. So first we met the dealer then we went to her house to check if she has any skins, but she didn’t so we decided to smoke from blunt.
It was just the second time when I was smoking the weed. I remember first time was good. I felt relaxed and I was happy. We were laughing (I was smoking with the same friend as I did second time) Second time was terrible. I remember firstly we were to the park bc we wanted to sit down. Firstly I was high af and I was laughing later after 1-2mins something hit me. I jut stood up and I said I need to go home bc world around me didn’t feel real. I was so scared. I thought that I’m in the movie or in the dream. My heart beat was really fast, my mouth was really dry. I remember when I came back home I just couldn’t sleep and in my mind I was saying “everything is real” and I said it about 1000 times. I had massive panic attack. When I was laying in the bed my eyes were rolling around. I thought that when I’ll go to sleep everything is going to be alright next day. But it wasn’t. I have this f*****g shitty feeling (I’m feeling like in the movie, it feels that I have clouds around my brains, I have wall which is made of glass in front of my forehead- in front of my brains, or sometimes I’m even thinking that I have died, and now I’m living in the different dimension like life after when we will die) yh, I have it for 77 days. Sometimes I have better days, but I never felt normal again like I were before that time when I was smoking weed for the second time. God, you’s please help me. I can’t live with this feeling anymore it is killing me in inside. I’m regretting so much that I smoked weed and become friends with wrong people. Please help me... What should I do? Bc I’m really tired of it. Really I can’t no more. I can’t stop thinking about this sh*t. I’m thinking about this time when it happend every single day, bc I just can’t stop. Now after that accident I started to think deeper. My brains are thinking about things like: Who created the world, who created people, why I was born a person not an animal or something? Really my mind is killing me for 77 days. I missed to be normal really I would give everything just to be normal again. Please give me some advices , bc I’m really tired of this feeling. Really I want to end it. Thank you for help everyone!
Hello there,
I am just a random stranger who, like many here, promised to contribute to such forums when they happen before me because I too went through this living nightmare for a very long time. My story is long. But in short, I lived in Amsterdam for a year to do my masters in Social Sciences and I abused weed along the way. The symptoms you are describing are very clear to me and to all of those who went through this particular experience. All I can tell you is that the first post of this forum makes a lot of sense. And one thing I can tell you for sure is that, it takes time. The trick is not to count. Don’t put a calendar in front of you and wait for the day where you will wake up and feel reset to your “previous” state. It won’t happen that way. And it will be ok, trust me with this. It took me a few months to actually become and feel better. However, everyone is different and we all take control of our minds differently. It is one of the toughest battles I had to undergo but it gets better for sure.
Don’t dwell over what happened or what didn’t. Start a f*****g amazing diet. Include a lot of healthy proteins and fats. Drink lots and lots of water. Take a multi-vitamin pill every day. Try omega-3 (fish oil) pills. A lot of people said they helped. (I discontinued them because they made me a bit too energetic and I actually wanted to feel the opposite). Exercise is key. Take a walk or a run every day. Yes, every day. Exhaust the body to relax the mind. If possible, stay surrounded with family and friends for the coming days. Try to read meditation books (I recommend Eckhart Tolle’s book “the power of now” as a start. It helped me a lot. Watch a light series that is favourably familiar to you. Personally, I couldn’t even watch TV for a long while because my derealization degree was too intense. I couldn’t then separate reality from TV which was really annoying, so Tv made me even more anxious. Which meant no final season of the series “game of thrones” to me, when all my friends would gather to watch it and I would make up excuses not to be with them. But now, I can watch TV again. So don’t worry, I m not trying to scare you here.
I know that this is terrible sweet guest, but remember, this too shall pass. It is almost a year for me since this experience. It felt horrible at some point but here is what really helped me now that I look back at it. Don’t be angry, disappointed or even judgemental of yourself. So You did it. You smoked weed. The propaganda around weed being that cute of a drug is not that true after all. I am not against it of course and I am not stating any political opinion about legalising that sh*t or not, but all I can say is that there is no transparent consensus about the danger that accompanies this drug. It is perceived as an innocent drug and it’s not that innocent after all. But then again, if somebody told me on the first time I decided to light a joint that it has a potential of causing me dp/dr, I would have never understood what they mean by that. I think that I would have taken my chances anyway. But now I know. And now I know that it can never be my drug of choice. In fact, I know now that drugs should be treated with care and respect.
In order not to go any longer on you, I can tell you also one last thing, although in my case, the longer some posts were, the better I felt reading them, because this is all I could focus on doing for a very long time. They were my daily bible. Looking for people who recovered from such a badass situation was all I wanted to do for weeks. Back to what I wanted to say. Oh I forgot. Now I am panicking a bit because I forgot and because weed screwed my memory. Nah, I am just messing with you :) your memory will betray you for a while but don’t panic about it. It’s just that you have been panicking intensely for so long that it became very common for you to panic when you forget the littlest thing. Am I going mad? Am I losing my memory? Am I gona get locked up in an institution and be never visited by anyone? If some people go crazy for real, what makes me immune against going insane myself?? All those questions...my God they tortured me for so long. You will realize with time that the answer is yes to all of them. Nah, kidding again. The answer is clearly “maybe”. Hehe. No, you are not going crazy. No, you won’t get locked up in an institution. No, you are not stuck in this for the rest of your life. And asking what’s wrong with you is the one sign that should tell you that you are aware that there is a problem somewhere. Mental illnesses don’t work like that most of the times. So, back to my recommendation please, don’t try to answer those existential questions at your lowest. When they come up, be kind to yourself and to your brain. Write them down and promise yourself that you will get back to them when you feel better, less overwhelmed and more confident. And when you do get better, rip this book to pieces and throw it in fire and never look back. I’m kidding of course. When you do, tackle them with love and patience and be confident that you are not the first to have ever thought of them. Remind yourself how unspecial you are :p (I mean you are of course, but not really). Remind yourself how non-unique you are even about this whenever your brain tries to convince you that you are so f*****g alone in this condition. So bottom line, all I am trying to ask of you is to delay figuring out all the answers that won’t matter eventually to those incessant torturous questions. They will be answered in time. You will find out later that God doesn’t exist and you will have all the time to worry about that later. Kidding again of course. She exists. She really does :)
Love yourself. Ellen Degeneres keeps saying, be kind to one another. Today I ll do you a better one; be kind to yourself first. We are often the hardest on ourselves. We might be the kindest to the people around us but we are the harshest at ourselves. So pLease, remember to be the kindest to yourself at this period of your life. You will need it the most now, until this certainly passes.
And oh, keep a journal to track your progress. It helped me loads.
Peace, love and some more love :)
I am just a random stranger who, like many here, promised to contribute to such forums when they happen before me because I too went through this living nightmare for a very long time. My story is long. But in short, I lived in Amsterdam for a year to do my masters in Social Sciences and I abused weed along the way. The symptoms you are describing are very clear to me and to all of those who went through this particular experience. All I can tell you is that the first post of this forum makes a lot of sense. And one thing I can tell you for sure is that, it takes time. The trick is not to count. Don’t put a calendar in front of you and wait for the day where you will wake up and feel reset to your “previous” state. It won’t happen that way. And it will be ok, trust me with this. It took me a few months to actually become and feel better. However, everyone is different and we all take control of our minds differently. It is one of the toughest battles I had to undergo but it gets better for sure.
Don’t dwell over what happened or what didn’t. Start a f*****g amazing diet. Include a lot of healthy proteins and fats. Drink lots and lots of water. Take a multi-vitamin pill every day. Try omega-3 (fish oil) pills. A lot of people said they helped. (I discontinued them because they made me a bit too energetic and I actually wanted to feel the opposite). Exercise is key. Take a walk or a run every day. Yes, every day. Exhaust the body to relax the mind. If possible, stay surrounded with family and friends for the coming days. Try to read meditation books (I recommend Eckhart Tolle’s book “the power of now” as a start. It helped me a lot. Watch a light series that is favourably familiar to you. Personally, I couldn’t even watch TV for a long while because my derealization degree was too intense. I couldn’t then separate reality from TV which was really annoying, so Tv made me even more anxious. Which meant no final season of the series “game of thrones” to me, when all my friends would gather to watch it and I would make up excuses not to be with them. But now, I can watch TV again. So don’t worry, I m not trying to scare you here.
I know that this is terrible sweet guest, but remember, this too shall pass. It is almost a year for me since this experience. It felt horrible at some point but here is what really helped me now that I look back at it. Don’t be angry, disappointed or even judgemental of yourself. So You did it. You smoked weed. The propaganda around weed being that cute of a drug is not that true after all. I am not against it of course and I am not stating any political opinion about legalising that sh*t or not, but all I can say is that there is no transparent consensus about the danger that accompanies this drug. It is perceived as an innocent drug and it’s not that innocent after all. But then again, if somebody told me on the first time I decided to light a joint that it has a potential of causing me dp/dr, I would have never understood what they mean by that. I think that I would have taken my chances anyway. But now I know. And now I know that it can never be my drug of choice. In fact, I know now that drugs should be treated with care and respect.
In order not to go any longer on you, I can tell you also one last thing, although in my case, the longer some posts were, the better I felt reading them, because this is all I could focus on doing for a very long time. They were my daily bible. Looking for people who recovered from such a badass situation was all I wanted to do for weeks. Back to what I wanted to say. Oh I forgot. Now I am panicking a bit because I forgot and because weed screwed my memory. Nah, I am just messing with you :) your memory will betray you for a while but don’t panic about it. It’s just that you have been panicking intensely for so long that it became very common for you to panic when you forget the littlest thing. Am I going mad? Am I losing my memory? Am I gona get locked up in an institution and be never visited by anyone? If some people go crazy for real, what makes me immune against going insane myself?? All those questions...my God they tortured me for so long. You will realize with time that the answer is yes to all of them. Nah, kidding again. The answer is clearly “maybe”. Hehe. No, you are not going crazy. No, you won’t get locked up in an institution. No, you are not stuck in this for the rest of your life. And asking what’s wrong with you is the one sign that should tell you that you are aware that there is a problem somewhere. Mental illnesses don’t work like that most of the times. So, back to my recommendation please, don’t try to answer those existential questions at your lowest. When they come up, be kind to yourself and to your brain. Write them down and promise yourself that you will get back to them when you feel better, less overwhelmed and more confident. And when you do get better, rip this book to pieces and throw it in fire and never look back. I’m kidding of course. When you do, tackle them with love and patience and be confident that you are not the first to have ever thought of them. Remind yourself how unspecial you are :p (I mean you are of course, but not really). Remind yourself how non-unique you are even about this whenever your brain tries to convince you that you are so f*****g alone in this condition. So bottom line, all I am trying to ask of you is to delay figuring out all the answers that won’t matter eventually to those incessant torturous questions. They will be answered in time. You will find out later that God doesn’t exist and you will have all the time to worry about that later. Kidding again of course. She exists. She really does :)
Love yourself. Ellen Degeneres keeps saying, be kind to one another. Today I ll do you a better one; be kind to yourself first. We are often the hardest on ourselves. We might be the kindest to the people around us but we are the harshest at ourselves. So pLease, remember to be the kindest to yourself at this period of your life. You will need it the most now, until this certainly passes.
And oh, keep a journal to track your progress. It helped me loads.
Peace, love and some more love :)
Hi I've defeated the depersonilization which was horrible but I'm still left with this tired brain but no matter how much rest or sleep I get. I'm always worrying because it's uncomfortable and Its with me all the time. Have i got this for life or what do I need to do to get rid of it.
Appect God in your life carry god through your life
I was in this same mindset at one point in my life. back when I was 17 or so... I was getting into a little more than just weed. I was ingesting research chemicals.(2ci, 2ce, etc.) Dabbling into a little bit of cocaine, mushrooms and what not.. I was at least a half oz of hydro a day, My brother was actually a pretty moderate weed dealer at the time) so I always had unlimited access to weed. everything was fine for many months and then my guy I always got my weed from introduced thc wax. I didn't slow down on herb any and then I started smoking on dabs throughout my day. Everyday.. until one day I lit up the rig, took about a half gram dab, coughed my lungs out, and the one thing I remember so vividly is opening my eyes after coughing and seeing a big lightbulb shatter. I remember hearing it and everything. I told my friends I think I
needed to go lay down for a bit. my heart was pounding. I ended up laying in a back room of the house by myself for hours and couldn't sleep. I kept having repetitive thoughts. I was hoping this would end soon. I thought maybe id be more comfortable if I was at my own house so I went home to my brothers and laid down. Three days had went by I hadn't slept, I hadn't ate. and I finally decided to break down to my brother and tell him something is wrong. I haven't slept.. Three days I sat on a couch and watched tv with my heart pounding having full blown panic attacks not knowing what was going on. He thought I was exaggerating but could tell I haven't slept so he gave me two Xanax and told me eat something and lay down. I slept for about 8 hours finally. I woke up still uneasy. my mind was blurry I couldn't eat. He forced me to go to work with him, to eat breakfast lunch and dinner and to get out of the house. I finally called my doctor and went in. they prescribed me high blood pressure medicine, sleep medication, and anxiety medicine. about a week goes by of taking everything and nothing was getting better, I was tired of fighting this feeling and didn't want to be on medication so driving down the road one day, having a panic attack I opened my bottle of anxiety medication and went to take one. I looked at the pills.. I thought about it, and told myself, "You know what, fu*k it, if I die I die. Im not going to be on medication and im stronger than this." I rolled my window down and chunked the whole script out the window. I think that was the best decision I had ever made. after the thought of accepting my fate, and telling myself whatever happens, happens... things started getting a lot better, I started to learn my anxiety and how to deal with it. Instead of running from it I would take deep breaths in a controlled manner. I started going out and running, exercising more. I stopped smoking weed. I started hanging out with my friends again. things got better. This did not happen over night by any means. But I am living proof that it can get better, without medication. I am for the most part anxiety free now. I ended up here with a thought of smoking weed again maybe. I don't think I will. BUT, back to the story. tough it out! Get out and exercise, stay involved with friends and family, and instead of being scared of the panic attacks, learn how to cope with them and work around them. They will eventually dissipate completely or at least into a mild anxiety. Hope this helps.
needed to go lay down for a bit. my heart was pounding. I ended up laying in a back room of the house by myself for hours and couldn't sleep. I kept having repetitive thoughts. I was hoping this would end soon. I thought maybe id be more comfortable if I was at my own house so I went home to my brothers and laid down. Three days had went by I hadn't slept, I hadn't ate. and I finally decided to break down to my brother and tell him something is wrong. I haven't slept.. Three days I sat on a couch and watched tv with my heart pounding having full blown panic attacks not knowing what was going on. He thought I was exaggerating but could tell I haven't slept so he gave me two Xanax and told me eat something and lay down. I slept for about 8 hours finally. I woke up still uneasy. my mind was blurry I couldn't eat. He forced me to go to work with him, to eat breakfast lunch and dinner and to get out of the house. I finally called my doctor and went in. they prescribed me high blood pressure medicine, sleep medication, and anxiety medicine. about a week goes by of taking everything and nothing was getting better, I was tired of fighting this feeling and didn't want to be on medication so driving down the road one day, having a panic attack I opened my bottle of anxiety medication and went to take one. I looked at the pills.. I thought about it, and told myself, "You know what, fu*k it, if I die I die. Im not going to be on medication and im stronger than this." I rolled my window down and chunked the whole script out the window. I think that was the best decision I had ever made. after the thought of accepting my fate, and telling myself whatever happens, happens... things started getting a lot better, I started to learn my anxiety and how to deal with it. Instead of running from it I would take deep breaths in a controlled manner. I started going out and running, exercising more. I stopped smoking weed. I started hanging out with my friends again. things got better. This did not happen over night by any means. But I am living proof that it can get better, without medication. I am for the most part anxiety free now. I ended up here with a thought of smoking weed again maybe. I don't think I will. BUT, back to the story. tough it out! Get out and exercise, stay involved with friends and family, and instead of being scared of the panic attacks, learn how to cope with them and work around them. They will eventually dissipate completely or at least into a mild anxiety. Hope this helps.