I have a few relactionship problems that I need advise on. Ok I'm 15 years old about to be 16 in December and I live in Tn.Tonawanda New York and I've been in a 4 month relactionship with my loveable boyfriend Randy. But the problem is he doesnt like when I go to the mall cause there's other guys that walk around there and he gets angry when his friends are over cause I might look their way not even meaning to and he says I'm stairing at them!Why does he get this way?Also he gets mad when my parents want me to go skating with them and the rest of the family on a Friday night and he tries to turn it around and be like well I wanted to see you and do something with them someother day!!! I mean I see him 3 or 4 times a week and just recently we've been seeing eachother 2 times a week because of transportation problems. But even if I were to tell him I was going to get some bra's with my mom cause I needed them he'd tell me no will go together or I'll get them but deep down I know he wont and if he does it will be like a year later or when I finnally make a big fuss about how I need them. Sometimes when we get into arguments he gets me so mad I have 2 punch him in his face (it's a reaction I have when @ blowing point) then after I do it he says thanks I needed that and he understands me after I got really pissed and hit him why?I mean he's 19 and I'm 15 going on 16 and It's stressful because I have'nt been in school since Aug and I'm now in the process of registering in my district school and I want money and wanna buy niice things for the both of us and also so if transportation is a problem I could allways give him gas money cause thats our transportation problem but he just doesnt like the fact I wanna work at Wegmans and I went ahead with my dad and applied because me and my father have been talking about it for the longest now but Randy doesnt know and If I tell him or talk about it he'll be like getting pissed with me and I didnt do anything worng and I'm tired of having to do things with my family like go places with them and not being able to tell him because I'm afaride of him getting pissed and hanging up on me and he'll say stuff like it's over but he wont mean it. He told me straight up when he's mad he says stuff he doesnt mean and if he keeps it up he'll loose me someday but he also said he would try to not do it but he hasnt changed and I just dont know what 2 do. The other day my brother who lives away from home had his friends over our house and were shooting pool and Randy called and we were talking and he's like whos at my house? I said my brother and his friends our shooting pool and he hung the phone up. Then I called him back and he got snippy with me. I mean I used to be a wild girl from 12-15 up untill I met Randy. Randy made me mature and taught me stuff and I calmed down alot all the way till I hit depression stage but I love him so much but he's so errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!and I dont know what to do anymore!!!! I mean he wont ever really break up with me and I wont ever break up with him cause we have to much love but if you love some1 you dont do stuff like the above^^^^^. 24/7 he knows what I'm doing or where I am except when I lie to go places with my family so he doesnt get mad,but I'm tired of having to lie. I will say I grew up in an abusive family but over time they changed and Randy grew up in the crappy section Buffalo where most poverty in the area is but his family allways had food and were not on welfair and they all hand good jobs and money and everything there but his family moved to flordia and his parents told him he has to stay in NY at their house and pay rent to his mom 175 out of the 250 he makes weekley and he didnt want to he wanted to be with his family in Flordia where his mom & dad and brothers and sisters were. He does have 2 brothers down here in NY which he see's daily because he works through his brothers company and with them and he barrows his bros car to see me when he has money (payday fri) or when he wants money he calls his bro to barrow it and he allways pays it back on time nomatter what. I even make love with him because I love him and I dis his wash when we lived together and even when I come over I pick his place up and feed his dog and straighten his bathroom up and wash dishes ect...I even take food out of my cuberts bags and give it to him so he doesnt cry that he is hungry and has no money and only has 3 eggs. I mean his sister recently moved back down here and allways has food in her fridge and she lives down stairs from his appartment and he can allways go get something when he needs it but b4 she came down here I gave him everything from dog food - human food - head ach medicine. The 250 doesnt go far because he's a pot smoker and he needs it everyday b4 bed or just once daily because he complains there's nothing to do around Buffalo except smoke weed and drink. I'm a pot smoker too and our fridays consist of him picking me up and bring me to his house and rolling up and smoking and getting food afterwords to eat. Now I allways was a pot smoker since I was 13 and I went through 9 months of rehab while in a residential facility for behavioral problems but I'll admitt I only graudated because I used other peoples urine so I wouldnt fail tests and could go home each week beacue if we failed 1 we couldnt go home for 2 weeks we didnt have no privlidges for 2 weeks knowmatter what!!!But after I moved out of Randys house which I lived with him for 3 months I lost my apptite and have no cravings for food unless I'm high so I get high to eat because if I dont I will starve even though I'll want to eat and try eating stuff. Just my stomach will take it down and make it come up and I dont purposly make it or want it in anyway shape or form. I just dont know why I got this way. I moved out because we got into an argument and I put my fist through his window and I was bleeding all over and the window had dug so deep it cut tendants and nerves and I actully went into shock in front of him right next to him and I told him dont let me die and I was crying and felt light and weak and blood was everywhere and he called his friend joey to take me the hospital but I didnt trust joey to be over fast enough because I didnt know him untill after words when we all started hanging out alot.I called my friend darlenes grandfather and he drove me and my parents came like an hour and a half later and it was gross but the whole time I was in shock and lying there he was balling his eyes out kissing me asking me over and over why I did this and what was I thinking and telling me he loved me so much and he'd allways be there and love me not matter what. So he does care but if he cares so much why does he act the way he does like I explained above in the beging???
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Could you answer a few questions for yourself ?
- Have you ever lied ?
-have you ever lusted ?
-have you ever stolen ?
-If any of these are answered yes , then you you will be judged on Judgment day from our rightoues judge .We all fall short and sin . We all needed saving from that day of judgement . God is a rightoues judge and so there for he must judge honestly . The bible says if you offend in one way you are guilty of the whole law . The Ten commmandments . Which means hell is our destiny when we die and we are ALL apointed once to die . If you say you dont belive in the bible . Ask yourself this . If a man comes to you with a sharp nife and puts it to your throat , its cutting in and blood starts gushing out . Can you say well I dont belive it will cut me ? Thats the same about the bible . It is what it is . And do you realy want to wait to find out ? God send his son to save you from that day . We still face hard times on this earth it dosent change that . Except that when we (call on the name of the Lord God in heaven )who sent his son Jesus to pay our price buy shedding his blood on the cross many years ago .MOVIE: (WATCH THE PASSION OF CHRIST). We get adopted into his family , which means he is our heavenly father who hears us when we pray (TALK TO HIM) . Mostly we are just plain SAVED when we die .The Lord God can then over look our sin if we are truly repentant and ask him to save us . The proof of full salvation is a desire to save more souls , a longing to get to know God better . True repentance will not let you sin without your concions saying NO NO NO NO NO NO !Get a bible . Get saved by admitting you are a sinner ,and Telling Christ you except his sacrifies for your sins . Tell him you recieve him as your Lord and saviour ! Ask for his forgivness daily . He says he will forgive our sins and will not see them anymore if we ask .We all still make mastakes and God still loves us but he will love you to much to let you stay that way , there will be a desire in your heart to not go back to the sin . Its your choice ,I just saw your letter online . ONly God can help your boyfriend and only GOD can help you . We all will die and there is only a heaven or a hell . There are other hurting people people who can use your testimony to give them hope .Pastors and christain councelers can pray with you and you can be free from your drug habbit .
Get your eyes focused on the starving children , or abused and lost , and while your helping them or giving them you will be helped yourself .The bible says give and it shall be given to you !
Find yourself a Christain . where they belive in the born again expiriance which is called salvation . ( Being Saved from your sins )
- Have you ever lied ?
-have you ever lusted ?
-have you ever stolen ?
-If any of these are answered yes , then you you will be judged on Judgment day from our rightoues judge .We all fall short and sin . We all needed saving from that day of judgement . God is a rightoues judge and so there for he must judge honestly . The bible says if you offend in one way you are guilty of the whole law . The Ten commmandments . Which means hell is our destiny when we die and we are ALL apointed once to die . If you say you dont belive in the bible . Ask yourself this . If a man comes to you with a sharp nife and puts it to your throat , its cutting in and blood starts gushing out . Can you say well I dont belive it will cut me ? Thats the same about the bible . It is what it is . And do you realy want to wait to find out ? God send his son to save you from that day . We still face hard times on this earth it dosent change that . Except that when we (call on the name of the Lord God in heaven )who sent his son Jesus to pay our price buy shedding his blood on the cross many years ago .MOVIE: (WATCH THE PASSION OF CHRIST). We get adopted into his family , which means he is our heavenly father who hears us when we pray (TALK TO HIM) . Mostly we are just plain SAVED when we die .The Lord God can then over look our sin if we are truly repentant and ask him to save us . The proof of full salvation is a desire to save more souls , a longing to get to know God better . True repentance will not let you sin without your concions saying NO NO NO NO NO NO !Get a bible . Get saved by admitting you are a sinner ,and Telling Christ you except his sacrifies for your sins . Tell him you recieve him as your Lord and saviour ! Ask for his forgivness daily . He says he will forgive our sins and will not see them anymore if we ask .We all still make mastakes and God still loves us but he will love you to much to let you stay that way , there will be a desire in your heart to not go back to the sin . Its your choice ,I just saw your letter online . ONly God can help your boyfriend and only GOD can help you . We all will die and there is only a heaven or a hell . There are other hurting people people who can use your testimony to give them hope .Pastors and christain councelers can pray with you and you can be free from your drug habbit .
Get your eyes focused on the starving children , or abused and lost , and while your helping them or giving them you will be helped yourself .The bible says give and it shall be given to you !
Find yourself a Christain . where they belive in the born again expiriance which is called salvation . ( Being Saved from your sins )
This is honestly not a healthy relationship. My suggestion: find yourself, then you can find a nice christian guy who has morals and values. Trust me, I was in a horrible, verbally abusive, physically abusive relationship. The guy was seriously jealous, I couldnt even look at another guy. You need to let loose of this guy. Find happiness with yourself, and happiness with someone else will fall into place. If you were truly happy, you wouldnt be on this site, defending your relationship, and trying to find answers for questions that don't need to be answered because if you are in doubt of certain things in this relationship, then its not a secure relationship. If you are young, then you have plenty time. Don't rush into anything.
Sounds like he is very controlling. Also sounds like the both of you have anger issues. I really dont think this relationship is healthy at all. It would be best for you guys not to see eachother anymore, even as friends. You need to take care of yourself and find what makes you happy.
Love is never enough on it's own. You need respect. Trust. Compromise. Honesty. Patience. You need to know how to communicate with eachother. There's so much more that you need for a relationship to work. If I were you I would end this relationship and take sometime for myself. Find out who I am. And then I would find someone who respects me, who I respect and who shares all of those important aspects of a relationship.
You may think you love this guy, and even though he says it - he doesn't show it. He's using you. Get out and take care of yourself.
Good luck.
Love is never enough on it's own. You need respect. Trust. Compromise. Honesty. Patience. You need to know how to communicate with eachother. There's so much more that you need for a relationship to work. If I were you I would end this relationship and take sometime for myself. Find out who I am. And then I would find someone who respects me, who I respect and who shares all of those important aspects of a relationship.
You may think you love this guy, and even though he says it - he doesn't show it. He's using you. Get out and take care of yourself.
Good luck.
Hi Kristin, I feel your pain honey, i have a 16 year daughter who has been dating this 19 year old guy. They started dating when she was 15 he was 18 i wasn't very happy about it because i heard bad things about him like he was into drugs and stuff. I got to know Matt and i fel in love with him because his family was screwed up and he needed someone to look at like a mom so i was there. Know him and Shannen are having a hard time in there relationship because they spend every waking moment together 24/7 unless there in school. He's a pot smoker and a cigrette smoker and now so is my daughter. I do blame Matt for that. Shannen has always had some self isues like like when she was 13 she put herself into such a depression and she was in her own little bubble and wouldn't let anyone in. I found out later on by reading a IM that when we fought she would cut herself and i didn't want to believe it, she also went on a eating disorder to. i was besides my self, welll then she met Matt and she was coming out of her shell and letting me in. I found out though from Matt that Shannen still cuts herself when she really angy at either me or Matt. They fight alot kknow because he's a control freak and he seams to want to control her all the time even when i want to spend time with her he says the same thing your boyfriend says don't you want to be with me. then she guilty. i wish you could talk with my daughter you would problebly have alot to talk about. I have to go but if you need to talk please e-mail me at ****** good luck honey and don't let anyone control you
**edited by moderator ** e-mails not allowed **
**edited by moderator ** e-mails not allowed **
i myself need solutions....
You r both very very immature. If he is 19 and acting lie that now, BELEIVE me it won't get better, hitting and breaking things, is how people get killed. YOU r to young to be dating someone that is 19 You r both DRAMA queens. Knock it off. Also you need to learn hoe to periods at the end of you sentences. Ya know? It's very important. Otherwise your letters wili look this and know will know when you are starting or ending a new thought because you shouldn't be smoking pot either that will only mark it harder for you to grow up your boy friend is already showing sighs of what pot does it stu ts your emotional growth so he I'll always act like that it maybe ok when he is 6 yrs o,debut he is nt he 19 and when he is 30 and he will still be acti g the same and he will be getting fired fom hs jobs becasue he s still a TI g like is a teenager and if you are still with him he will be picking fights with you all the TI e o ER stupid stuff because he is immature and insecure then when you have children they will think that is normal to act like that so your kids will be losers too and if you have a girl when she grows up she will think it s ok to break things and ht people and then she will start going out with someone that doesn't make her feel very god about herself and that boy will get mad at her when she has to work r be with her family and he will be all angry and pouty be ause she won't know any different ths nt a relation ship that is healthy he will one day HURT YOU this is the kind f boy that's grows into a big boy and beats hs wife and kids because he is a punk