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Should i stay or should i go

By Lunadisangue | 3 posts, last post
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Lunadisangue

Ive been with this guy for about 2.5 years and ive lived with him for 2. He has his bad random angry moments where he justs puts me down on a dirt level. For awhile i was running into the garage crying daily. Weve tried working sh*t out but living with 3 other people who happen to be freeloading bums doesnt help our situation any. He obvioisly has his good days and he helps me out alot financially but idk if its worth it anymore. And on tops of the anger, he plays videos games. Like an unhealthy amount. He'll have his ipod in one hand and iphone in the other and be playing the same game. He's also addicted to online magic cards at the moment. He'll play hours on end until like 4 in te friggin morning. Ill try to lure him off with sex in what not but literally as soon as we're done the boxers are back on and his ass is back in that damn seat. Ive tried tellin him how i feel and he just gets mad like i shoulnt care that he chooses his games over me. I just recently applied for a $6,000 loan for a car since i dont hve my name on the title of ours and i only make about $900 a month. Planning on moving to my aunts. I gave him one last chance today to redeem himself and it went decent until the end. I got him in the sack and he jumped back out and promised me only one game. I agreed and it turned into 3. So i told him to come and get me off the couchwhen he decided he had his fill. I woke up 4 hours later to him sleeping in the bed by himself. I feel so lonely in this full house. The answer is a easy one, but i want to hear feed back anyways. Its not like i want to throw this away, but im tired of being 2ed to everything.

userK245845

Hi, 

From my point of view, you should just let him do what he does. Why not? It seems to me that you were building up your frustration by watching him play his games. 

Don't you have anything else to do? Why don't you start doing something you like? Sports , hobbies, exercise.. Go with your female friends for a walk or something. Maybe you are just bored and you want him to always be around you. Sorry if this sounds harsh but i had a girl like that a year ago. I was really active, playing sports, playing games a bit. And she was bored because she had nothing to do. So it was always my fault because i wanted to do anything without her. 

Even though sometimes she didn't say a word. I felt it. I felt the pressure from her  and that would make me angry. Why would i need to feel bad because i am doing what i like and you don't have anything to do??

My suggestion, chill back a little. Show him some support in what he does. Go do something you like without him, give him a little space. 

In relationships , you and you SO have to always give 60% and expect 40% in return. If you both would think like that, your relationship would be perfect. 

have a nice day

K

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gabrielak302157


Hi Luna,

After 7 years into relation with my husband, not leaving together we got married. We are happily married for 34 years, we had good and bad along those years, because that's how marriage work but nothing like this(your situation).
Honey, I would say try to talk to him ,let him know your filling about his addiction. But, you have tried... and with no regrets don't waist your time , run away(not even walk) from something like this .No,you won't have any future with someone like him and don't waist your time. All this time you could meet someone else how care about spending time with you. Let men want you
Been only a toy sex for a men, that's not a future. Try not to depend on his money because so far it look like he support you and you pay him with the sex. If this one is the case and in his mind he think this way is no hope in the relation.
Respect your self before you demand respect from other and so far you are lowering your self just because you can not afford to leave on your own.
Chin up and walk away with pride and learn to respect your self. Never ever cry for a men unless he's your husband and he died and he did respect you and you had a good life with him, otherwise no one worth your tears.
Learn that you as a women have something that men want so he have to respect you, be gentle with you,pay attention to you and make you as his first priority.

The fastest you move on the better for you.I wish you all the best.

Gabriela
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sally

The anger is a red flag. If he gets si angry that you are crying in the garage daily then that is probably abusive. My advice would be to get counselling together or get him to a men's behaviour change program or leave. If he won't get counselling with you then leave. This will only get worse and you can't deal with it without professional help. I lived in an abusive relationship for too long and it is soul destroying. Userk has a point in that you both need your own recreational outlets, but you also need to make time to spend together. And his game playing does sound excessive. If I were you I'd leave. You don't need anger you need love. I know its hard but you will find happiness just probably not with him.
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