I began taking painkillers frequently since i was 13, and have stopped at 18 or 19 with only occasional use after that. I am now 20 and ready to leave this behind me, and also repair my brain if at all possible. My goal in my teen years was to stay high consistently, although I couldn't always achieve this, breaks were scarce. My ideal day would consist of 5 pills all day and over a couple years that jumped to ten. Than I started taking breaks so that the feeling would be stronger when I was back on them, and I frequently snort and crush them. I would usually take Loratab 7.5 or 10s, sometimes 5s. I also took Somas. I started to notice when I was 17, 18 and 19 I wouldn't be able to pee after binging on them all day. I also enjoyed pot on occasion and in high doses, alcohol frequently when i turned 17, and than experimented with a few other drugs after that which included uppers. Currently I am feeling as though I should give up everything and live as healthy as possible to make up for my risky teen years. I have had a seizure at 17, and fainted a few or more times after that but no more seizures. When I was younger I suffered from migraines, now I am sinking into a continual state of neck/ head aches, heart palpation's, short breath. My head feels foggy and i recently have been feeling on the verge of fainting. My moods have been shifting a bit more violently, sometimes i need a break so that I can recover from close to suicidal feelings. What can I do? what have I done to myself?
What you describe is normal - your symptom are a result of opiate overuse/withdrawal. Contrary to common belief, withdrawal doesn't end after a week, when he physical aspects lessen - a very difficult part of it is still ahead of you. You are most 'vulnerable' to start using again after 3-4 weeks of stopping. I recommend that you devote all your energy and attention to this issue at present, if necessary, cut out the friends who could persuade you to use again and distance yourself from anyone who has the ability to harm you emotionally. Focus on the positive things in your life - find a new hobby, or rediscover an old one. Once you distract yourself, it will become much easier to avoid using, and the temptation to use will lessen. However, I must stress that you will most likely NEVER be free from temptation to use - once you experience the euphoria created by opiates, it's very, very hard to go back to having a 'normal' life. You will constantly think that the opiates made your life easier - because they make you ignorant to the negatives, the bad things in this life. But where does it all end? Unless you actually decide to stop, your life will be consumed by the need to take more and more drugs, when you get to the point where you physically can't take any more. What happens then?
It's unlikely that you've suffered any irreversible damage. The liver can virtually entirely repair itself from the point of almost being destroyed. You are also very young, which makes this proccess quicker and easier. Your brain will need years to re-adjust itself to the normal levels of brain chemicals and you will most likely feel like absolute c**p for the next few months or so. Unfortunately, that cannot be fixed/avoided. You will need patience.
It's unlikely that you've suffered any irreversible damage. The liver can virtually entirely repair itself from the point of almost being destroyed. You are also very young, which makes this proccess quicker and easier. Your brain will need years to re-adjust itself to the normal levels of brain chemicals and you will most likely feel like absolute c**p for the next few months or so. Unfortunately, that cannot be fixed/avoided. You will need patience.
Thank you very much this makes me feel better, and fully answered my question. Through my experience I have realized that i will probably never live ordinarily, or without temptation, but i have also learned that my idea of it is better than what it truly is as well. I truly truly hope my body can jump back and that i will be able to function normally regardless of my past. that worries most of all. Although I hardly have anything to compare it to, i still stress about feeling i am somehow impaired now.
I really appreciated this which candyd wrote : "I must stress that you will most likely NEVER be free from temptation to use - once you experience the euphoria created by opiates, it's very, very hard to go back to having a 'normal' life."
This is so true! I have experienced it myself...
Christa Brodigan, I wish you good luck. I know you can do it. Freedom from chemical dependency is an amazing feeling.
Yes I think all of you are right
But one quick question: Why did you start in the first place and was the dosage of medicine very high?