I always had really bad anxiety since i was a little kid. i tried experimenting with weed "marihuana" and i sort of helped. But then i got addicted to cocaine, ecstasy, mehtadone, and alcohol, and pylosibin mushrooms.
I became an addict and all i wanted to do and did was feel euphoria and amazing. One day i did mushrooms and was hiking in the mountains by myself, "stupid idea" really stupid. I was looking off a rock at the city and then its like i went blind, but i could still see. nothing made sense and i freaked out and started walking. I was curled up in the feetle position in the ditch and it started to rain, i almost drowned and i finaly made it out and went home.
Afer a while that bad hallucination started to subside from every 5 minutes to about every other day. I stoped smoking weed because it would bring it back and make it worse. So i started methadone again, but one night i took it and i didnt feel a thing, i hit some weed while i was by myself in my room thiking it wouldnt be that bad, but i freaked out. I felt this feeling come into my body and rip me apart from the inside out. That was the start of my myserable life.
Now no matter what i do, i cannot feel pleasure. cigarettes, cocain, methadone, alcohol. NOTHING! gives me pleasure and i cannot feel happy instead i feel dead inside, i think about killing myself every day. every day, please for the love of God tell me what i can do to get back to being normal and stop these terrible halucinations, i go to phycologists and they all suck because they have to idea what im talking about.
Thank you for your time, thank you.