Hello, my boyfriend of a year and I recently decided to have proper intercourse. However, every single time he has tried (about fifteen-twenty times), it seriously feels like someone is shoving a knife 'down there'. He's been great about it, especially when I burst into tears from the amount of pain, and he is by no means pressuring me into having sex. Has this amount of pain happened to anyone? Does anyone have any advice to make this a pleasurable experience for the both of us?
A couple of things:
First, a woman may be able to advise you better on this, cause I'm a man.
Second, are you on top or beneath him? You may find that it's easier to control the penetration by you being on top.
Third, are you lubricated? Naturally, from within, or with a good sex lube that you bought at the drug store or similar reputable place?
Fourth, have you been examined by an OBGYN and are you sure that your hymen is not blocking the way?
Fifth, if you have an intact hymen, you may want to visit your regular doctor to discuss ways to open, cut, remove the hymen to allow sex.
You don't mention your age. SOME women have very tough hymen and require a doctor's assistance to make things possible for them.
You may want to consider this.
Finally, have you read any good books about women's sex organs, positions, and sexual relations? You'll find some positions more comfortable than others, and you may learn a great deal about yourself and what you should expect.
Good luck.
First, a woman may be able to advise you better on this, cause I'm a man.
Second, are you on top or beneath him? You may find that it's easier to control the penetration by you being on top.
Third, are you lubricated? Naturally, from within, or with a good sex lube that you bought at the drug store or similar reputable place?
Fourth, have you been examined by an OBGYN and are you sure that your hymen is not blocking the way?
Fifth, if you have an intact hymen, you may want to visit your regular doctor to discuss ways to open, cut, remove the hymen to allow sex.
You don't mention your age. SOME women have very tough hymen and require a doctor's assistance to make things possible for them.
You may want to consider this.
Finally, have you read any good books about women's sex organs, positions, and sexual relations? You'll find some positions more comfortable than others, and you may learn a great deal about yourself and what you should expect.
Good luck.
Thank you for the prompt response!
We tried only when I was beneath, just because he had experience with it all and I did not. I just figured since the pain was so bad it would be better for me to take it rather than try to force it on myself.
We had a lubricated condom, but that's about it. I'll definitely try using an actual lubricant next time.
I have not yet been to an OBGYN to be examined, I didn't think it was a serious enough issue to be examined. My age is 18, but I don't really see how that correlates to the issue.
Thank you again!
We tried only when I was beneath, just because he had experience with it all and I did not. I just figured since the pain was so bad it would be better for me to take it rather than try to force it on myself.
We had a lubricated condom, but that's about it. I'll definitely try using an actual lubricant next time.
I have not yet been to an OBGYN to be examined, I didn't think it was a serious enough issue to be examined. My age is 18, but I don't really see how that correlates to the issue.
Thank you again!
The thought about age is that women of only 14 have not always fully developed... whereas a woman of 30 could be confident of her maturity.
It's good that you've used protection. But do make certain that any lubricant you use is NOT oil based. Petroleum based lubes immediate attack laytex/rubber devices... call it rot, decay, or disolving, but laytex is severely weakened within seconds of applying an oil to it. Water based is much much better, and there are alot of options on brands out there.
good luck.
Let us know how this turns out for you.
It's good that you've used protection. But do make certain that any lubricant you use is NOT oil based. Petroleum based lubes immediate attack laytex/rubber devices... call it rot, decay, or disolving, but laytex is severely weakened within seconds of applying an oil to it. Water based is much much better, and there are alot of options on brands out there.
good luck.
Let us know how this turns out for you.