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Hi i am 17, i am 18 in two months. i found out 2 days ago that i was pregnant i had no idea. i had gone to the hospital for breathing and stomach pains and the nurse had told me i am pregnant and may be having an eptopic pregnancy and if so would need surgery as i could internally bleed to death. i was so scared however as i had my scan they had told me everything looked fine and i was 4-5 weeks pregnant. i have to go back for a scan in 3 weeks so that they can defianatly make sure that it has not grown into an eptopic pregnancy. i am not with the babys father, it was just abit of fun and had only seen eachother 3 times and do not speak anymore. i will tell him but i know he will not want me to keep the baby. my family will be there for me but i am worried about dissapointing my dad and nan. i do not know wether to keep it or not as i am still only young and have said if i was ever in this situation that i would get rid of the baby as i have no money. however i am worried that having an abortion would haunt me forever and that i may never get pregnant again help?? 

Dear S-Help

The fact that even now you say "i am worried that having an abortion would haunt me forever" indicates that it probably would haunt you forever. You can look on this site and find those who are distraught after the event, now considering they have killed the one they were supposed to protect.

Saying "i am worried that having an abortion ... i may never get pregnant again" raises a possibility that few consider, but is a risk. There is the added risk that if you do get pregnant, you may not carry full term.

If it is true that "he will not want me to keep the baby", then you are best not associating with him. He is not prepared to take responsibility for his actions!

You say "my family will be there for me"; then you are very fortunate. Where are you from? Are there any particular cultural or religious implications?

"i am worried about dissapointing my dad and nan" In what way will they be disappointed? That you had casual sex? That you got pregnant? That you might get rid of the baby?

I would strongly advise against abortion unless it were to save your life.

There are some other issues as well to consider:

  • "i was 4-5 weeks pregnant" Had you not missed you period?
  • "it was just abit of fun and had only seen eachother 3 times" Was it that casual? Was there any coercion? Did you not use any protection?
  • "i would get rid of the baby as i have no money" There is the option of adoption rather than abortion.

Does some of this indicate you do not understand your reproductive system adequately? If so you can ask for help in that regard.

You seem to be taking a more mature approach now that you are pregnant. That is encouraging. Pregnancy changes you for good!

Hope this helps. Ask again if you want more help, or just to 'unload'

Take Care

Reply
An abortion is something that you do not want to do ,because it will have a hard dramatic effect on you , i am 17 i miscarried my son at 5 months due to a defect and this was in may of this year i was 16 years old and now i suffer from depression and all that stuff. It was the worst experience of my life because i had to go to the doctor and find out my sons heart beat had stopped i had to vaginally deliver him! If you feel like the father isn't going to be there and you can not support you child do not get an abortion try adoption ,you know your unborn son or daughter didn't ask to be made but he/or she also has a right to live give him or her to a family that can support them can give them what they will need throughout life a family who wants children and can not conceive a baby if you find out that your pregnancy is NOT ectopic then go through with the pregnancy and do the best thing for you ,keep them or give them up for adoption you really dont want to abort your child ,and if you need anyone to talk to just message me or something
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