Hi. My children, a boy and a girl, are 7 and 8 years old. My hubby and I believe that people should be more comfortable with their bodies and we are trying to teach our children to do so. So, we feel comfortable to walk around the house naked and we are showering with our kids. I am not sure what they feel about it. Should we stop doing so? When should we stop showering with our kids?
Hi. I was bathing my boy when he was little, but now he is 10 years old and he wants to bath alone. He feels he is adult now and he has to do things on his own. Puberty is the right time to stop showering with your kids, I guess, in your case. Your kids may not feel that comfortable when their bodies start to change. Not all parents are showering with their kids and walk naked around the house. Then kids go to school and their experience might sound weird to other kids.
Teach your kids to bathe or shower by themselves, they will be fine
When in doubt, listen to your kids. Don't force them to do or see what they don't want to. If they seem to start shying away from anything or having any hesitations, it's definitely a time to stop and maybe even talk to them. Puberty is definitely a time when people start to become aware of bodies and it suddenly starts to be more uncomfortable to see others or be around others when nude. Even then, as someone else here has said, this kind of lifestyle is not really the norm. This may cause problems when they talk to others at school about it whenever something leads to this being brought up. As I said earlier, puberty definitely makes people more aware and uncomfortable with stuff like that, so that might be when problems start to arrise when talking about it with others at school when it might not have before. Besides, most kids learn to shower by showering with their parents, but they soon get their own privacy. It isn't anything against the norm unless it goes on for a while.
The guest who posed the original question is co-manager in a household operating in an unusual way; The routine is for everybody to see everyone else nude. In most households, the members only see other members nude when they bathe together, and this comes to an end when the children can bathe themselves without risk of drowning, and can clean all their body parts competently. Most of us were too young remember our age at that self-care milestone, but I would say it was between their 3rd and 5th birthdays. That leaves me having 2 answers for kids growing up with 2 different approaches to inter-personal nudity. The writer I am directly responding to, thinks that the onset of puberty is a good time to tell her child he or should be able to bathe themselves from here on out. But, first tells us that her 10 year old son, (probably still 2-3 years away the onset of puberty,) wants to bathe solo now. She should allow this and should have allowed this 5 or 6 or 7 years, if he said he was ready then. At puberty, I would expect a child from a "'You're on your own.' by kindergarten household", to be embarrassed to have their changing body on display.
The situation is different in the original guest/writer's household. The children grew up seeing their same-sex parent being similar but different. They may become more comfortable with their nudity as their body becomes more like that parent. Puberty could be a time when they start to feel a real comradery with their same sex parent. (I'm not too sure how their comfort level will change with the opposite-sex parent who now looks like a potential sex partner.)
Back to the second guest/writer; She makes no mention of dad. I suspect that is because he is out of the picture. Most fathers, by the time their son is 5, would not be bathing him, and would tell mom that sonny is very capable of bathing himself. I would say, "I don't want him to be a 'mamma's boy' but the longer you keep on bathing him, the more likely that is exactly what he will be."
The situation is different in the original guest/writer's household. The children grew up seeing their same-sex parent being similar but different. They may become more comfortable with their nudity as their body becomes more like that parent. Puberty could be a time when they start to feel a real comradery with their same sex parent. (I'm not too sure how their comfort level will change with the opposite-sex parent who now looks like a potential sex partner.)
Back to the second guest/writer; She makes no mention of dad. I suspect that is because he is out of the picture. Most fathers, by the time their son is 5, would not be bathing him, and would tell mom that sonny is very capable of bathing himself. I would say, "I don't want him to be a 'mamma's boy' but the longer you keep on bathing him, the more likely that is exactly what he will be."
If I was raising children in a situation like the first 2 submissions, I would tell my children, "The way we handle bathing and nudity here isn't wrong, but it is unusual. It would be easier for you if you didn't talk about much, if at all, as school. If you do talk about it, you may find yourself in a conversation you don't want to be in, and then I may find myself in a conversation that I don't want to be in, or maybe a bunch of conversations I don't want to be in." I would expect that, by puberty, the kids would already have figured that out.