Are You Ready To Lose Your Virginity?

Losing your virginity is exciting and scary at the same time. You might hope it will be "perfect", but hardly anything you do for the first time is, so simply aim for a pleasant experience by choosing the right time and person. 

Boys and girls — or young men and women — of any age are a little anxious about the first time they have sex, and that's totally normal. Knowing a little more about what it's really like can help. We'll tackle the emotional and practical side of losing your virginity today. 

READ More Young People having Unprotected Sex

Do It When You're Ready, With Someone You Like

Sex is a loaded topic about which everyone has thoughts. Some people believe you should not have sex until you get married, while others believe you should be in a long-term committed relationship or over a certain age. One thing is certain — sex is completely normal.

If you are a teen, you may know a lot about sex or you may simply have been told that you should wait until [insert value here]. Your parents will definitely have their own ideas about when and with whom their kids should engage in sex for the first time, and those ideas usually include the hope that you won't have sex any time soon. 

Whatever your personal values and the values of your parents, it's clear that you should not have sex if you don't want to.

Do it when you are sure you are ready, with someone you trust, like, and hopefully with someone you love. 

Do It Safely

Are you saving yourself for marriage, and are sure your future spouse is doing the same? You might decide not to use contraceptives in that case. In any other case, you'll want to use condoms. Condoms keep you safe from sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy.

Get condoms if you want to have sex, and remember that avoiding an unwanted pregnancy is as much your job as it is your partner's. Boys should probably practice putting on a condom before they lose their virginity. Messing around with condoms for a long time is not romantic. 

Accidents do happen. Condoms can break or slip off, but you might also forget to use one or decide to go without if you don't have any. We hope you'll take contraceptive use seriously, but also that you'll get checked for sexually transmitted diseases if you have an accident.[1,2] In addition to an STD test, girls will want to take the morning-after pill if an accident happened [3]. 

Your First Time — What To Expect

Do It Slowly

You might have been waiting for this moment for a long time, but that doesn't mean you should rush things when it is finally there. It's a good idea to talk about it with your partner before you actually do it. Take the time to enjoy each other and engage in plenty of foreplay before you get to the actual intercourse.

Focus on your partner and don't be selfish, but do let your partner know what does and does not feel good to you. Foreplay — including kissing, touching each other all over, licking, oral sex, and fingering or stimulating your partner with your hands — can be as much fun as penetrative sex.

READ Sexually Transmitted Diseases: Testing And Prevention

Girls can bleed the first time they have sex, but this doesn't always happen [6]. Boys tend to orgasm ("come") really quickly the first time. This is something both boys and girls should know about. It's also possible for boys to lose their erection during or before sex. Your first time might be a little awkward, in other words, but that's normal. Go into it with a sense of humor, but without embarrassment about your body and your partner's. 

Tell your partner if sex hurts and you want to go more slowly or stop for now. Talking about what you want or need isn't something you should be embarrassed about. It's possible you want to stop once you get started, or that your partner will want to stop. Respect your partner and yourself. 

Do It In A Private Place

You don't want your first time to be interrupted by other people, and you don't want to do it in a place that's uncomfortable. Back seat of a car? Your college dorm? A public restroom? Forget about it — those are not good places to lose your virginity. 

Your bedroom or your partner's is probably your best bet, but when you are sure you won't be interrupted by room mates, siblings, parents or other people. Put on some nice music, lock the door, and enjoy each other.  

Afterwards

Don't pretend that you had an orgasm if you didn't. It doesn't matter if you didn't come, as long as it was a good experience for you. Do lie down together and kiss each other, talk to each other, and hug each other.

You could go out and enjoy a movie afterwards, or simply go for a walk or something to eat. Talking about how you feel can help you both process the experience, and perhaps set you up for an even better next time. 

Don't Do It If...

You are certainly no fool if you don't lose your virginity once you reach [insert whatever age], if you lose your virginity later than all your friends, if you save yourself for marriage, or if you're simply not sure you want to have sex with the boy or girl you are going out with (right now).