Meet Your Goals More Easily: Don't Beats Can't

Although it sounds obvious and trivial, the meanings of “I don’t” and “I can’t” are not the same. When you say no to some tempting treat, you do have a choice of phrasing it. Saying “I can’t do it” implies that you would not mind doing this but the circumstances simply don’t allow this. Saying “I don’t do it” sends clear and certain message of refusal. More importantly, the message is more obvious and acceptable for you in the latter case as well.

Our psychology should not be underestimated when it comes to choosing the refusal strategy. The brain is wired in certain way, and the strength of willpower is not the only factor in succeeding when it is necessary to say no.

Obesity epidemics

Modern living provides us with plenty of temptations. Tasty food rich on calories and carbohydrates is a good example. Indulgence and overeating is a huge problem in the Western society. The United States are particularly affected – this is the fattest nation in the word now. Some states like Texas have particularly alarming rate of clinical obesity. By some estimates, around 50% of all people in Texas are clinically obese.

This is significantly higher even than 32% national average. The proportion of obese people is growing so fast that now we are talking about the “obesity epidemics”. There are even some theories suggesting the existence of “obesity bugs”. Many people believe that getting a bit fatter is just an unavoidable consequence of modern living, when food is easily available and most jobs are not physically engaging.

Now compare the US numbers with the obesity rate of just 8% in Norway. Norway is a very prosperous country with some of the best living standards in the world. Certainly, Norwegians have enough money to buy whatever food they like. Then why the obesity rates are so different? Does it have something to do with a different diet, better food quality control or a simple self-discipline and restrain?

Whatever the real reason, the availability of food has no role to play in the difference observed between two countries. Several studies suggested that the willpower can be positively enforced by the wording of refusal and that the framing of words influences our decision making. A very simple strategy suggests that utilizing “I don’t” phrases instead of “I can’t” is shown to be successful in fighting temptations such as food cravings.

The Right Wording Improves Self-discipline

Perhaps, a bit of self-discipline would not hurt when it comes to resisting temptations. But what is the best way to introduce it? Resent research suggested that the willpower can be positively enforced by the wording of refusal.

For instance, you are more likely to avoid eating yet another piece of cake by saying “I don’t eat sugary food” instead of saying “I can’t eat sugary food”.

This was clearly demonstrated by the study undertaken by Professor Vanessa Patrick from the University of Houston C. T. Bauer College of Business. Professor Patrick followed the everyday activities of 30 women who were divided into three groups and asked to follow a particular refusal strategy. When presented with a temptation, the women from the first category were asked to follow “I don’t” strategy, from the second – “I can’t” strategy, and from the third – a neutral strategy of just saying no. Women were reminded every day by email to follow the particular strategy and report when they worked and when they didn’t.

Many participants of the study reported the feeling of self-empowering and improved confidence when using this strategy. They felt more optimistic about their weight loss goals. This new sense of determination and empowerment clearly made the refusal strategy more successful.

The results of this research were published by Vanessa Patrick and Henrik Hagtvedt last year in the Journal of Consumer Research. Although the work was done on a small group of women, results are very encouraging. They confirm the empirical observation that self-talk and the linguistic framing of an idea does influence final decisions and outcomes and helps to stick to resolutions. It helps to improve self-regulation via managing desire for the temptation. Right framing of words provides the feeling of control and autonomy. The authors conclude that this simple and straightforward strategy needs further serious studies to confirm its validity for broader population and a range of other applications.

Implementing self-discipline in relation to food requires a holistic approach that combines mindful eating, goal setting, and a practical understanding of nutrition. It begins with cultivating mindfulness, where you pay close attention to your eating habits, recognizing triggers for overeating or unhealthy choices, and understanding the emotional or environmental factors that influence your diet. This awareness allows you to make more conscious choices about what you eat.

Instead of vague aspirations like 'eating healthier', define what this means for you, such as incorporating more vegetables into each meal or reducing sugar intake. These goals should be achievable and measurable, allowing for gradual progress rather than drastic, unsustainable changes.

Equipping yourself with basic nutritional knowledge helps in making informed choices. Understand the balance of macronutrients (proteins, fats, carbohydrates) and the importance of micronutrients (vitamins, minerals) in your diet. This doesn't mean obsessing over calories but rather understanding the nutritional value of foods.

Finally, self-discipline around food isn't about strict restriction or punishment. It's about developing a balanced relationship with food, where you enjoy what you eat without overindulgence or guilt. It's a continuous journey of making choices that align with your health and wellness goals.

Simple change of wording can enhance decision making in a big way. When it comes to self-discipline, there is no need to rely exclusively on the willpower. Simple linguistic trick can provide an invaluable help here.

Wider implications of these research findings

The best part of this strategy is the fact that it is very easy to implement. There is no need to follow a particular diet, to do exercises or to take pills. It’s all about the way of framing the thoughts and words.

Obviously, the strategy can be applied not only to food cravings. There are plenty of temptations around us that need to be avoided. It is in our nature to look for easy way of doing thing, this saves us energy and time. Many people are often tempted, for example, to skip the gym session, or to have a cigarette, or to take yet another glass of wine. It’s easy to skip some necessary work at home and go to watch an interesting TV show instead. Everyone can expand this list even further.

We all know when we do something wrong and allow temptations to take over. Giving a try to the simple “I don’t” strategy doesn’t hurt and can bring benefits to everyone. Choosing the right words does make half of the trick. It doesn’t cost a single cent to try, but the outcomes might be invaluable.