17 & pregnant, boyfried trying to force abortion

PoshTottie over a year ago

I am 17yrs old and 10 weeks pregnant, me an my boyfriend have been together 13mths, he always said to me that if I ever got pregnant he would stick by my side no matter what i decide, although this pregnancy came as a bit of a shock to us both he was ok about it till he told his parents who are very angry, blaming me, and trying to force him to get me to have an abortion, I work full time and have a very supportive family so technically we could do this, he wants to go to uni in September but it's only 2hrs away so not a million miles and I'm not asking for anything financial I just want support, 2 days ago he left me saying he couldnt be a father and had to leave me, it seemed to me as if his parents had told him to do this to me, they call it the easy way out and it might make me see sense to get an abortion, I don't want to be a single mum at all I don't agree with it, we're now back together but he keeps telling me that if I keep he'll leave me again and this time for good but I really don't want an abortion I don't agree with it, I said I was thinking about getting the baby a guardian so I could be part of its life and when we feel ready can take it back, he liked the idea until he told his parents, I just don't know what to do anymore, I really want this baby but I also really want to keep my boyfriend, I just don't know what to do anymore - well both be 18 next week, I understand him and see where he's coming from about being young etc but I want this baby, it wasn't just my fault, would really appreciate any help and advice, my dr says I need to move fast if I do decide to abort after 12 weeks he won't refer me...

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PoshTottie221040 over a year ago

I too am 17 and pregnant, I went to my dr and they are really helpful talking options with you, but remember only you can decide what you want to do, hope thing work out for you and your boyfriend is supportive unlike mine x

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medic-dan109453 over a year ago

Hi Posh,

You need to make this decision with your boyfriend, not his parents. Regardless, if he's holding this over you and threatens to walk he's not much of a man. Expect him to walk, sooner or later, for ANY reason. In addition, he IS going to be a father, like it or not. He has a lot of growing up to do and his parents need to wake up and stop blaming you for this. It does take two after all.

If I sound harsh with the young man and his family, I am. If it was my son, I'd want him to accept responsibility not deny it.

Seriously consider adoption if you don't want to do the abortion. While the abortion may sound easy, I can tell you from being on this forum for a couple of years that many women have regrets long after.

Good luck.

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Guest over a year ago

I think the best thing for you to do us open adoption, therefore you can have no financial obligation towards the child, it will be raised by people who really want children, you can still see the baby and have contact through out their life and if your boyfriend wants he can be involved and u also get today together

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Ursulax250899 over a year ago

You say u understand where he is coming from and do would I but then why didn't he take the nessacary precautions to avoid getting u into that situation ?! So reli he has to b supportive of u unfortunately I can't force him to b wit u n I imagine it's a shock to him but reli he shud think of these possibilities if doesn't want them to happen use a condom if ur not on contraception anyway I get why u wouldn't want to b a single parent but at same time u don't seem to wan to abort the child ur in a tuff sulituation but I reli hope u can talk to his parents and giv them a few wise words as u sound more mature than them they know their son is also reasons able for this but they advise him to dump u ?!! Some good raring that is !! NOT!!! I hope u get support from your family and him too as this is his doing also n he needs to grow up n take responsibility u may regret an abortion if u end up havin one as u feel he wants u to so pls don't base ur decision on this loser do it for yourself and go wih that :) the very best of luck to u :D

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Buckstop297892 over a year ago

i can tell you really want this baby. If you can give this baby a home, you or your parents, don't have an abortion. You will forever regret it. This baby will bring you a lot of happiness and fulfillment. If he doesn't want it, that's his loss and problem. He doesn't deserve you then. Keep the baby and you will be glad you did. Whether you are religious or not, go to a church and ask God what you should do. I guarantee you 100% that you will walk out of there 100% sure that you want to have this precious life. Try it and you will see if i'm wrong. But ask God with sincerity and he will put it in your heart. You seem to be more mature than your bf anyways, you have it to be a mother and by the sounds of it, he is still a child so don't listen to him. Have the baby, if you ever need help with food or something for the baby let me know. But don't do what you will regret.

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Guest over a year ago

I hope you find the right answer for you. I am the mother of 4 and married to their father for the last 10 years. Recently I found out I am pregnant with a 5th. We were both scared since we don't think we can afford it. After a while I was ok with the idea of another, I actually got very excited. My husband, not so much, he came home from work every day asking if I had made an appointment to get an abortion. Finally, after much verbal bullying, I got an abortion. I wanted to leave the entire time I was there. I was crying the whole time during the procedure and on the way home ( I had to go by myself with no support from said husband). I didn't leave only to make my husband happy. He was happy for maybe a minute before he found something else to be upset about. Since the abortion I have felt total regret and guilt with fits of total melt downs. Within the week after I have tried to commit suicide with no success. I'm hoping before there are any hurtful comments towards this that I will have succeeded. I just hope whoever reads this realizes that abortion is the WORST thing anybody can do. I used to be pro-choice but I can't live with myself for having killed one of my own children. And I don't think I will.

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