Hi, I had an abortion 3 years and 10 weeks ago today. I aborted when i was 16 weeks pregnant due to pressure from my boyfriend and his mother I had only known I was pregnant for a week before i aborted. For the first year i was an absolute mess, my nephew had been born in the august before my abortion and i simply could not hold him or be near him. Everything upset me. I started to speak to a councellor and this helped a lot. I am not truly over it and never will be but after a year and a half of being in so much emotional pain I could finally hold my nephew. Now I see him every week and we cuddle and I play with him and theres no pain or hurt. I found it became easier to deal with when I named my lost baby, I never found out the gender but I just felt that it should be a girl so I named her Natalie. I still get sad on the anniversary of the abortion and on her would be birthday (May 31st) but up until a week ago I have been fine and happy. I just found out that my sister is 8 weeks pregnant and this past week I have felt excited and happy until a couple of days ago when all the pain and anger and hurt has come flooding back. I know in my heart i did the right thing though, i do not want to raise a child when i have no money or means to look after it properly and give it everything it deserves, this helps me carry on.
I am not trying to scare you or upset you but I wanted you to see that it will always be with you you will always be missing that tiny part of your heart but with time and talking to people it will get easier to cope with and yes in the future there will be times that bring all the pain back but you just have to think about how much of a better mother you will be in the future and it helps. If you need to talk then please email me we've all been through this and we can all help eachother.
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I am not trying to scare you or upset you but I wanted you to see that it will always be with you you will always be missing that tiny part of your heart but with time and talking to people it will get easier to cope with and yes in the future there will be times that bring all the pain back but you just have to think about how much of a better mother you will be in the future and it helps. If you need to talk then please email me we've all been through this and we can all help eachother.
***this post is edited by moderator *** *** private e-mails not allowed **
Please read our Terms of Use
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Hey I have just turned 21 and just under 3 month ago I aborted my baby of 12 weeks, I seen it the baby come out and I often have glad backs and feel guilt and regret. Although it was a decision ne and my boyfriend made together ( we were not ready, mentally or financially ) every day does get that tiny bit easier but my boyfriends seems to think " I should be over it now " why can't men understand ... yes he went through it aswel but not really ... anyone got any suggestions to help the healing and stop the down and upset feeling x x
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I have an abortion almost two weeks ago and i was dead set against it. I wanted my baby so bad and was going to make it work and my boyfriend the father of my baby who i have been with for 3 years made me choose between him and my baby told me he would leave if i kept it knowing i wouldnt be able to do it on my own knowing i love him dearly and would feel horrible if my baby didnt get to know its dad so i made the decision and got it. I feel horrible i felt horrible before i even had it and dont know what im going to do. I feel like i should have let him walk out and figured out how to do it on my own but its to late now and he feels bad for making me go throu that and says if i ever get pregnant again no matter if its 2 weeks from now or 2 years from now we'll have the baby but it doesnt help with the fact i already feel horrible and dont know how to get through it. I cant talk to him about anything because he is shutting the whole thing out acting like it never happened. some one help me how do i get throu this.
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We all need to talk about this with each other, even posting on here helped me a great deal. Although the date is coming up soon when I would of been due to give birth which is going to be extremely hard for me :'(
The country where I live, the subject is not brought up much so I definatly like coming on here, knowing that I'm not alone in this.
The country where I live, the subject is not brought up much so I definatly like coming on here, knowing that I'm not alone in this.
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I am 20 years old and had an abortion yesterday. I am not with the father anymore we broke up after bring in a 2 year relationship of abuse and cheating, in fact even though I was 5 weeks in, he already moved on with a new girl. It's so painful, I feel so guilty and I think of all the women who can't have kids out there and I played god. I can't eat or sleep and since the father is not in the picture I feel so alone. I don't have anyone to talk to, and he's just been a jerk about the while thing, more concerned about his new relationship working then what I'm going through mentally physically emotionally. He was dead set on an abortion said that this was a mistake we needed to take care of, and now he has gotten everything he wanted and I'm alone and miserable. How am I going to cope with this loss.
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So the date has been and gone when I would of given birth and it cuts me up inside to think I would of been a Mum. I cannot wait till when me and my partner are in the right situation to have a baby and it cannot come soon enough for me. It doesn't help that alot of people I went to school with are having babies and are posting every detail on Facebook and it makes me feel even more alone in my situation. I still wish I could talk to someone about it so if anyone here is from New Zealand, please reply back. I doubt anyone is but I'm just keen to talk. It's still helpful to read everyone's stories on here though.
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The day I went to get my abortion there was a journal on the waiting room table. When I opened it up, it had pages and pages of comforting letters from other women going through with abortion. All the stories were different and every women was faced with their own hardships... but the one thing I will never forget and has helped me cope and be happy with my decision is this:
I did this not because I would make a bad mom, I did this so I could become a better one.
I wish every women or girl out there the best wishes. I hope you find true happiness with your decision and realize that you did it with good intentions. I hope you all realize that sometimes bringing a baby into this world under sad conditions would be far worse than controlling your body.
All my love.
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I had an abortion about 6 and a half months ago. I have to say it was probably one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make. My boyfriend and I had only been together for two months. Even though I was 26 years old at the time, with a stable job and a master's degree and my boyfriend had a stable career, I just couldn't face either of our families with the news, especially because we had only been together in a small amount of time when I found out I was pregnant. I felt the only way out was an abortion. His sister and her husband became pregnant literally a week after I had; I was only 5 weeks along when I had the abortion, shortly after I had the procedure done, she announced her pregnancy. None of our families knew what we had done. Even though I was happy for her, I was overcome with sadness and a slight tinge of jealously upon hearing the news. I just never imagined the first time I became pregnant, I would ever be faced with the decision to have an abortion. I still to this day think about my baby and what might have been. I think about whether it would've been a boy or a girl, what would I have named him or her, where I would be today 8 months preggo. My baby would have been born between end of August-beginning of September of this year. I honestly regret the decision I made and unfortunately no amount of regret can bring back my baby. I have to live with what I did ever single day of my life. I know it will get easier, but I will never forget about my first unborn child.
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i had an abortion 4 days ago, when i was getting it done i was okay, seemed okay with the idea that my baby isn't ready to come yet. Then 2 days after that i was tierd and didnt want to get out of bed, i want to quit my job, everything dosn't fell right anymore apart from being with my partner, if it wasn't for him i couldnt cope with this, i regret this too the fullest, guilt, hurt, sadness and knowing that my precious child is not in me anymore kills me, but i know it is the right decision not only for me and my partner but for my baby too, the pain will never go awaybut it will get weaker and weaker with time, we have all made the decision not to have our babies yet, but in saying that me deciding to do this hurts me like no other pain i have experienced before, knowing that it was my decision is what gets me, i knew in my heart as soon as i found out i was pregnant that i wanted this baby and loved with all that i have but sometimes what you want and what you need are 2 completely different things, and this is what we needed at this time, i hope that you will recover and learn from this and get stronger
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To my unborn child.
It has nearly been a year since I had to say goodbye to you and you have never once left my mind. You see, it would of been wrong for me and your Dad to bring you into this world in the situation we were in. With your Dad studying, it would of been extremely hard for us financially and it would of been harder for your Dad wanting to spend all his energy with you but not being able to with study as well. When we both came to the decision to say goodbye to you, we both cried that night, alot. If I close my eyes, I can still see that picture of you with your little heart beating on the screen, you looked so perfect in every single way. We both love you so incredibly much my darling and I cannot wait to be able to bring you into this world with both your parents being able to put 100% of our love and energy into you.
You will always be in my mind.
I will love you forever and always.
It has nearly been a year since I had to say goodbye to you and you have never once left my mind. You see, it would of been wrong for me and your Dad to bring you into this world in the situation we were in. With your Dad studying, it would of been extremely hard for us financially and it would of been harder for your Dad wanting to spend all his energy with you but not being able to with study as well. When we both came to the decision to say goodbye to you, we both cried that night, alot. If I close my eyes, I can still see that picture of you with your little heart beating on the screen, you looked so perfect in every single way. We both love you so incredibly much my darling and I cannot wait to be able to bring you into this world with both your parents being able to put 100% of our love and energy into you.
You will always be in my mind.
I will love you forever and always.
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I am seventeen years old, and I had an abortion five days ago. Immediately following the abortion, I felt only good things. I felt relieved, physically better, and happy. But yesterday night, I just started crying for absolutely no reason at all. I just burst into tears for hours. I don't really feel depressed about one certain thing, so I guess it was just a rush of hormones. Every day just gets better and better and confidence in my decision is very important in my healing process. Another thing I strongly suggest to women who need to cope with their abortion is to write a letter to your unborn child. This really helps me to remember why I made this decision and not let my hormones cloud my logical judgement. Here is my own personal letter I wrote while in the clinic waiting for the abortion:
Dearest Violet/Tristan,
I am writing to you today, 10/**/11 to apologize for what I am doing. I have wanted to be a mother for so long, but the circumstances better permit your life further in my future. My heart is still young, and the idea of you is just so beautiful. I know my decision is unfair to you, and you have no choice in the matter, but I know in my heart that your life will be so much better when I am capable of showing you the love you deserve. I never heard your heartbeat, but I feel the life of you desperately wanting to be loved, and I want you to know that i love you no matter how selfish my decision may be. You are part of me, and will always be my little angel. Don't feel abandoned or alone, because my heart is more yours than any other person in my life. I will inevitably regret losing you, but please know that I could not make it in life mentally and emotionally. I have not yet found myself, and to bring a child into this confusion would be chaotic. My decisions in life have brought me in the complete wrong direction, and your presence is the absolute only thing that brought a reality check to me. I think you are worth more than this whole world, and half my soul will go with you. Please understand my decision and I cant wait to meet you later baby.
Your loving mother,
Alyssa
So to all the people who feel like I do, stay strong and clear-headed. Let yourself cry, laugh, and heal. Surround yourself with the people who care and understand your situation the most, and share your experiences with the people who understand what you're going through.
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This is exactly how I felt. I had my abortion five days ago. I quit my job three days ago. I have a supportive relationship, yet I sometimes feel like I lost everything. Throughout the day, I have mood swings. My head and heart were in two different places, so my decision still hurts me. You really helped me, and its good to know I am not alone in these feelings.
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Let me start by saying you will never get over it. My kid would have been five in October and the pain is as fresh as the day it was done. It's still day's somethings trigger me off and I get horribly depressed and the thing that's harder raising another kid and thinking about how it would have been with your other kid. What was also hard for me was that after I had my son which is now two was after I gave birth to him all I could think about was my first kid and it went on for months and It even got as far as me not wanting my son but the best way to deal with it in my opinion is to pray, cry, and speak about it to non judgmental ppl that you are close to because if you keep it in and try to bury it as I did in the beginning it will eat you alive. I wont say this will completely heal you but it helps I still have dreams and flash backs about it the dream are always so peaceful though they were the same ones I had when I was pregnant and that somewhat relaxes me
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Hi Gunnersgoddess,
I hope you are ok as i just came across this. I had an abortion a month ago. Like you i wanted to keep, had all intention of keeping it. I am 30 good job and everything. I am engaged i love him but we kind of were on rocky grounds and so i had sex with someone out but always used the pull out method. My fiance actually came in me and i knew it was his. There was more of a chance. My fiance lives in sweden and it was going to be hard for him to move here. So we thought the best thing to do was to wait for a better time. And in my head was like why plan it its the perfect time but he wasn't saying anything and told me it was up to me. We had the abortion and i am so sad. Every week i see how the baby would have been looking. I t just kills me. The only hope i have in me is that one day i will have another and love more than anything in the world. Sometimes things happen for a reason. Don't blame yourself as much as you want to. I know it hurts. It hurts my heart so much.
<3
I hope you are ok as i just came across this. I had an abortion a month ago. Like you i wanted to keep, had all intention of keeping it. I am 30 good job and everything. I am engaged i love him but we kind of were on rocky grounds and so i had sex with someone out but always used the pull out method. My fiance actually came in me and i knew it was his. There was more of a chance. My fiance lives in sweden and it was going to be hard for him to move here. So we thought the best thing to do was to wait for a better time. And in my head was like why plan it its the perfect time but he wasn't saying anything and told me it was up to me. We had the abortion and i am so sad. Every week i see how the baby would have been looking. I t just kills me. The only hope i have in me is that one day i will have another and love more than anything in the world. Sometimes things happen for a reason. Don't blame yourself as much as you want to. I know it hurts. It hurts my heart so much.
<3
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alyssakgoodrum wrote:
every single girl on this post feels exactly the same way. Some are ok with their decisions but girls like you and me have to came to terms with the decision that we had made. What has given me comfort is knowing that there is unconditional love between us and our unborn baby. I have made some peace with the decision that I made the weekend my unborn baby was due, even though i'll regret this decision for the rest of my life i have decided that my life shouldnt stop even though somedays i feel like dying just to see my baby, if i don't live my life to the fullest then what really was the point of my abortion? Your decision will always hutrt you and you will always feel guilty but there is going to be a day when you come to terms with your decision and look back and say that you have become a stronger person because of it. Lets face it abortion is a justified murder emphasis on the justified bit, we have given ourselves a second chance at living life. All i can say is that time isn't a healer for this but it does help. You just need to come to terms with the choices you have made. and trust me you will become a strong independent woman and mother because of it.
jess wrote:
i had an abortion 4 days ago, when i was getting it done i was okay, seemed okay with the idea that my baby isn't ready to come yet. Then 2 days after that i was tierd and didnt want to get out of bed, i want to quit my job, everything dosn't fell right anymore apart from being with my partner, if it wasn't for him i couldnt cope with this, i regret this too the fullest, guilt, hurt, sadness and knowing that my precious child is not in me anymore kills me, but i know it is the right decision not only for me and my partner but for my baby too, the pain will never go awaybut it will get weaker and weaker with time, we have all made the decision not to have our babies yet, but in saying that me deciding to do this hurts me like no other pain i have experienced before, knowing that it was my decision is what gets me, i knew in my heart as soon as i found out i was pregnant that i wanted this baby and loved with all that i have but sometimes what you want and what you need are 2 completely different things, and this is what we needed at this time, i hope that you will recover and learn from this and get stronger
This is exactly how I felt. I had my abortion five days ago. I quit my job three days ago. I have a supportive relationship, yet I sometimes feel like I lost everything. Throughout the day, I have mood swings. My head and heart were in two different places, so my decision still hurts me. You really helped me, and its good to know I am not alone in these feelings.
every single girl on this post feels exactly the same way. Some are ok with their decisions but girls like you and me have to came to terms with the decision that we had made. What has given me comfort is knowing that there is unconditional love between us and our unborn baby. I have made some peace with the decision that I made the weekend my unborn baby was due, even though i'll regret this decision for the rest of my life i have decided that my life shouldnt stop even though somedays i feel like dying just to see my baby, if i don't live my life to the fullest then what really was the point of my abortion? Your decision will always hutrt you and you will always feel guilty but there is going to be a day when you come to terms with your decision and look back and say that you have become a stronger person because of it. Lets face it abortion is a justified murder emphasis on the justified bit, we have given ourselves a second chance at living life. All i can say is that time isn't a healer for this but it does help. You just need to come to terms with the choices you have made. and trust me you will become a strong independent woman and mother because of it.
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