I met my boyfriend (ex now) through some mutual friends and right from our first date, it was instant chemistry and connection on both of our ends. He was completely over the top affectionate and was the most sweetest guy I had ever met, always telling me I was beautiful and how wonderful and amazing I was. I did notice that during the first couple of weeks of being with him, he had unusually high energy but I thought was normal for him because he is a very outgoing, sociable, and an extremely athletic guy. After a few weeks into our relationship, he told me that he was on anti-depressants and has been for over 4 years. He didn't get into the specifics of why he was in it but I was calm and reassured him that I was not going to leave and will be there for him whenever he needed to talk about it. He had been chasing me and wanting me to be his girlfriend and one day I finally agreed. Things after that between us were wonderful. He was extremely wonderful to me, talked about our future and plans and even children. He would tell me constantly how lucky he was to have me and how happy he felt and that he would never want to lose me. He was always so affectionate with me whether it was alone together or out and about. He would tell me every single that he missed me when we didn't see each other. Things were extremely amazing betwen us. The only issue we had was in the beginning where he wasn't able to perform sexually but after a few times, it did get better but I know that it really bothered him and I highly suspected it was because of the anti-depressants.
Then one day, his arm had started to really hurt and then he wasn't able to play all the sports that he was use to playing. I could tell that this realy bothered him as he is a pretty athletic guy and he had no idea what was wrong with his arm. this was probably the third time that his arm was hurting again for no apparent reason. After his arm started to hurt, i noticed a mood change in him right away and felt that he was a bit withdrawn. However, we continued to talk all the time and there was absolutely no indication or any signs at all that he would break up with me. 4 days later, and without seeing each other, completely out of nowhere, he broke up with me. When he was breaking up with me, he sounded emotional and panicked. He said he couldn't continue this relationship anymore with me and the reason was because he didn't feel those deep feelings for me that he had felt for his past girlfriends. he said i was so amazing and so beautiful, inside and out, but that he just didn't feel those extra deep feelings that he had before with exes.
I was completely blindsided by this, and also with all my friends that I had told, because it was just so shocking he would all of a sudden just end this. I am hurt and extremely confused. Everything he had done prior to this indicated to me that he did have a lot of feelings for me, that we were on the same page in life and had the same values. The way he hugged me, and told me how wonderful we were as team and how everything could be so great between us. sometimes it seemed he was extremely over the top with these feelings and what he had said but it felt extremely genuine and my friends had noticed this as well.
I tried to rack my brain to think maybe it was something I had done but there was nothing. Like I said, everything up to the day when he broke up with me was the same, except the feeling I had he was very frustrated about his arm hurting again. I know I am a great girlfriend with a great career and quite independent but am also very caring and an extremely easy going person.
I'm just confused and am trying to understand depression and why this had happened. It felt like he literally went from an all time high with me to an all time low, in a matter of a couple of days and that is what confuses me.
Can someone shed some light onto this? I am not waiting around for him, I have pretty much made up my mind but I just need some advice and explanation on why this had happened.
Well, take it from a 57 yr old woman...men suck...move on, there are more men out there. Have a good life without men. Then if the right one comes along, good, if not, oh well. Don't mean to be negative, but that's my opinion. Good luck! Keep your chin up!
R
Unfortunately the same story just happened to me too!!! And in the big picture I am much better looking than him.
But it is hard when they are so nice and one day they looked you like a stranger! What a strange change, but you have to know that their brain is not well balanced. My bf even smokes pot everyday! Antidepressent and pot not a good combination!