Okay. So again I am here. I met this guy on a social platform and later on we found out we lived close by and we were alike. I have had some serious traumas in my past relationships and I have even told him about that. After like 2 to 3 weeks he proposed me out and we started online knowing each other till we are capable of marrying each other. However after 2 months he started falling out of love we had arguement and everything and than he would stay up all night. That concerned me. As I had past issues I thought he would cheat on me. But he would lie to me as to what he did whenever I asked. This concerned me and one day I had to forcibly ask him. And that is when he told me he was suffering with bipolar. I wasnt aware of the issue. So I had to do a bit of research match his symptoms and everything and I found out he was suffering from bipolar disorder 2. So I thought to stay since I could understand what he is going through. But he keeps pushing me away. Daily he would come up to me and be like " no. U dont deserve this. U deserve better. I am not the one. I hurt u every day. I dont feel anything. I dont feel love for anyone even if they are my parents and all. " but he is not aware that what is a bipolar disorder. He only knows he is diagnosed with it. After that day. He would keep telling me he doesnt loves anyone anymore. He feels empty. And depressed he doesnt wants to get out of the bed. And if his parents scold him. He would go hyper to the point of fighting with them disrespecting them and than even coming to destroy everyone close to him including me. He will fight me, verbally abuse me and than end up blocking others while unfriending me. I am aware that he has bipolar so I normally leave him for a day and after that I again try to contact him and he is like. U should leave. Ur struggles are in vain. I am a failure and u can get better. I am a loser it will take me 10 years to get back up. So leave me and marry someone worthy. But than he would sometimes end up being so much talkative for no reason. He would talk day and night. He will sometimes have random ideas and say i am a gay or i want to get someone pregnant. When he is rude he ends up saying words like b***h mf. To others ( again I am excluded. He holds his tongue with me when he is angry) but does argues with me. The question is that I love this man. I know what disorder he has and I am willing to stay. And I want it to work out. But when he says he loves no one. He has no feelings for anyone it disheartens me. I want to be his one but I know his life isnt going okay that makes him depressed. His career isnt on track. Everything he does ends up failed. He isnt living up to the expectations of his parents annoys him and this in turn makes him think he is a failure and I dont deserve such a failure. He would tho time to time take my opinion about himself. Like if he looks handsome in a photo. Or If he should change this in himself. He would also give me a genuine opinion and cheer me for my goals. Sometimes he would also mention that he will meet me in the future ( after 5 to 6 years to see if we are capable of marrying) but he doesnt expresses his love in words. It's just the cues that point it out.
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Hello. Your position is very complex and you need to be careful.
It's important to communicate openly and honestly with your boyfriend about your concerns and how his behavior makes you feel. It's also important for your boyfriend to work with a mental health professional to manage his bipolar disorder and to develop healthy coping strategies.
Ultimately, the decision to stay in the relationship is up to you. You should consider your own needs and well-being, as well as your boyfriend's ability and willingness to manage his bipolar disorder and to communicate and express love in a consistent and healthy way. If you feel that the relationship is causing you more stress than happiness, or if you feel unsafe or unsupported, it may be best to seek help and consider ending the relationship.
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