Hello im on this website because im pretty sure i had found my soul mate. Everything is absoultely perfect about him. From catering to all my needs, making me laugh and having patience with me. You can honestly truly see that he loves me. We are basically living with eachother for about a month now. He has a daughter that i had met and she loved me so much she already calls me step-mom! How can i refuse to accept all of this? I love everything...besides his past. He is a on & off oppiate addict. I first started noticing when we first dated because he would sleep over at my apartment but take for ever in the bathroom. His excuse "im taking my supplements for the gym." I thought to myself im not dumb ive been around drugs but never touched the big ones. Once i saw the blood shot eyes cause he snorted it i was heart broken. After a few arguements, only occuring, because of the mood swings from the drugs. It was like i was laying next to a totally different person? Just about a month ago he had started the methadone treatment and i could tell right off the bat when he was sober. I loved every minute of it! That is when we are both the happinest can be. He is my best friend. But lately he jsut had mouth surgery and the pain was unbearable. Stitches were popping and you can basically see the bone. I was on his side starting tuesday and currently by his side now. He was always sweating throughout the week, constantly puking even when we went to go get the methadone? and also was on ibuprofren 800 and hydro (under my control). why cant he keep anything in his stomach? why is sleeping all day? why is he sweating? i helped and catered to his every need until last night when he came home from a work meeting and was extremely happy/ pain free it seemed. i asked him "do you feel better" and he smiled and said i feel alright. thats when i knew something was up. he had bags under his eyes not to the point where they were huge but they were there there....and he always was so happy. In my head im thinking the possible worse..he is using. but maybe he isnt? i would hate to get accused of something i didnt do? as the night went on, i just got home from dropping my girlfriend off from studying. I then finished up the laundry and he wanted to help so he had came down..and started to fold the clothes. I accidentally put some of his tshirts in the wash and they were suppose to go to the dry cleaners. He started to get pist. 2...3..4.. shirts were found and he blew up. I felt like the worst person ever..like i couldnt do anything. but in all reality i was just trying to do his laundry so he wouldnt have to do it because i knew he was in pain. Keep in mind he never treats me like garbage nor speaks to me like that in any way. It was awkward after that and he fell asleep on the couch just ignoring me? This isnt my boyfriend! WHAT CAN I DO TO GET HIM BACK. i will marry this guy because he is my soul mate but this addiction is draining and its draining trying to keep someones spirtis high all the time when you have no one to talk to about this. Does any one have any recommendations cause i dont want to lose him...hes the best guy ive ever dated.
please help
Hi Chicago,
Too be honest you are going to get a lot of replies that you are not going to like because they are going to read like this, "drop that loser he isn't worth it". I'll try to make mine more upbeat and helpful than that.
Here goes: You are going to have sit him down. Talk straight to him, no bull-sh**ting or talking around the corner - straight talk is all he needs and he needs to hear the truth and that you know. Tell him you know he is using and that you are not an id**t from next door, you are the love of his life and you know when he is using no matter how much he tries to hide it from you. Also, confront him on why he feels he needs to hide it from you if he loves you so much too?
Depending on how he responds to you with this (hopefully with no violence) is what you are going to take the lead and do. If he doesn't admit his problem then you will need to tell him that you love him so much that he has given you no choice but to leave him. Because of your own safety and sanity - you can only take verbal abuse so much. If he tells you he needs help, great but he needs to stick to it or again, you will leave him (this is the only wake-up call he will get) as he needs to prove it to you that yes, he can do it. You should also think about joining about NA (narcotics anonymous) and get your own knowledge about this evil and what he is dealing with so you can further help and understand him.
Good luck and I really hope this can help you in some way - Take care!