I am new here, I don't know If I have posted on the right page.
In 2009 I was drunk met a girl at a party and slept with her unprotected. She then started talking about getting married and started talking about things which kind of freaked me out. (Without sounding nasty but my friends told me not to stay in contact with her as she is a bit of a psycho). So I told her I didn't really want to talk to her any more and would go my own way. She then started to harass me for a few weeks and then suddenly said she was pregnant with my child. I then thought she was using it as a ploy to get me back so I just changed my number. My friends know this girl and they told me to forget about it at the time as she does have a reputation to sleep around with different people and has said this to a lot of people. She is 23 now and has 5 children from different fathers and another on the way.
Anyway, She got in contact with me last year September stating she had my child to which I panicked (As I am happily married now). When she emailed me she had just split with her ex so I thought she was just trying to get back at me, she agreed to the DNA test then but told me no point doing a DNA test as it would be a waste of my money. I told her to give me her telephone number at the time, Which she did but she told me not to ring her as she was with her sister ( Which made me think why would you not want me to ring you), She then said to me, 'Ring me now' I told her i would ring her later to which she responded 'If your not going to ring me then delete my number'. I thought shes taking the mickey again, So I blocked her on my Facebook and tried to forget about it but it has been eating away at my conscious that I can't forget about it. So I messaged her for several weeks but she didn't get back to me, I then emailed her last week saying I will pay for the baby etc if it is mine and she finally responded. I have ordered the DNA test and I am worried sick. If the child turns out to be mine, I am going to loose my wife, My family everything. They will not be able to bare it. I honestly don't know what to do. I have told her, I will send a friend around to hers to get the swab done as I don't want to see her, but she is adamant that I have to come and not my friend.
I slept with her on May 5th 2009, She had the baby on the 02.02.2010. I have been trying to stay calm but I can't. I have been reading online, But I have dark skin and black hair, and the baby has white skin with dark blonde/light brown hair. Also the child she is claiming to be mine, On that photo on Facebook there is a comment under the photo stating 'Micheal's baby is getting big now' I'm not Micheal.
I don't really know what to do. I am feeling suicidal.
Hi Guest,
Well, the timing works for her. May 5, 2009 until Feb. 2, 2010 is 8 months and 28 days.
I'd start of with suggesting you talk to a lawyer, just to keep you from making a big mistake.
For one, the DNA test. Yes, you need it but not the way you plan to. There is something called the "chain of custody." Any reputable testing firm will follow it to the letter. Basically, you will each provide samples at a designated facility. They'll check ID's to make sure you each are who you claim to be. They will then take a sample and put it in a tamper evident container. Neither of you touch either of them yourself. You DO NOT have to go at the same time. She can go when she wants. You go when you want.
You may prefer the anonymity of doing something via mail but don't. Contact a local DNA testing agency and make appointments for both of you - at different times. There will be no chance of someone "tampering" with the samples.
The appearance of the baby is irrelevant. It doesn't have to look like either of you, that's just the nature of DNA.
Best of luck.