I've been married for 6 months and I am still a virgin. My husband has had partners before me so he is comfortable with it but any time we have tried together it hurts so much before he's really even in and I can't take it. I know a big cause of the pain is because Im nervous and expecting it- I've had some bad experiences in my younger years and I probably tried to have sex before I was ready (long ago) and now anytime we get to that stage even though he tries to be very gentle and considerate, I'm just expecting it to hurt so much.
I know if we just DO it it will be over quick but it also doesnt really help I am a very small person, whereas he is very big, and because we have a roommate since we've been married we never really have any alone time. All our attempts have been when we've had to pay to go away to a hotel, which then just adds on pressure where I feel like I HAVE to do it then and it feels even more stressful.
i feel your pain. i lost my virginity almost 3yrs ago. the best advise i could give is to have LOTS of foreplay before hand. it helps lubricate and also makes you naturally open up. kinda like it helps ur muscles relax and makes it streatch easier. definatly dont force it and dont try any crazy positions. missionary was best for me. it took a couple times for my bf to be able to get in all the way. it is not painful unless you tear, which i did after a couple times because we tried putting my legs up too soon. the more you stress about it the harder it will be to do it. i found it easier to relax when i put my hands on his stomach, that way if it hurt i could push him away somewhat. it made me feel like i had control. try not to pay any attention to him. focus on relaxing your body. you might even try a toy that is smaller then him...hope this is helpful