Hello everyone, I have been with mhy boyfriend for about three years now and we are relatively happy. He has always had a fantasy about threesomes, although I am pretty jealous and strict about being faithful and so on, I told him because it is such a big fantasy of his he can go ahead and do it. He then told me he does not want to do it without me. I have never had such a fantasy and I was very much so against it...I finally agreed, but only with another couple, strangers, as I don't want to see him favor another woman over me as I am left out. This is my question...or questions. How does this affect the relationship? Did any of you fell left out? Did you feel closer to your partner or further away and for you guys is it true that it helps you stay faithful?(Because this is the only reason why I am doing this in the first palce)/ Please tell me what you think.
he obviously isn't committed to your relationship if he doesn't want to include you. he is a turned on fellow who wants to experience new things he may feel you don't want to go above and beyond your sex life and he could possible want someone else.
I believe you may have misread what she had wrote. She said that he said he didn't want to do it without her.
I'm a guy and I just think that you should not do it.
I'm a guy and I just think that you should not do it.
I have been married for 25 years and recently agreed to let my husband bring in another woman. I am also jealous. Even though she let me play too it did create more distance between me and my husband. He is happy to be playing with her, not in love with her, and hopes the distance I feel will decrease. If I weren't so jealous this could be a lot of fun. Once you try it it can be hard to stop. That third person is a PERSON you can't just use and toss aside if it doesn't work. She is emotionally involved now. I'm letting it run its course and looking for my own female lover on the side. So we may soon be a foursome.
I think in the same way you perceive him to be insensitive towards your conservative sexuality, you are completely overlooking his more liberal sexuality. If you loved him you would communicate that you will only do it if xyz is adhered to, and together collaborate to create a framework of compromise you can both live with while not neglecting his fantasies. Through this communication you may surprise yourself in confiding a few of your own that perhaps you've always been ashamed to admit. There is no such thing as too much transparency, trust, and compromise in a successful relationship. :)
Thanks for the feedback. We've come a long way. I dropped all "adhere to xyz" when they were slowly being broken. Seemed easier to give in on all those and let him be totally free. At some point I suspect he will let loose of his boundaries on me as well. It's all in what each person is comfortable with. There is much trust still and the relationship is surviving the ups and downs of both of our jealousies and yearns for the other to be happy. Poly is tricky as I think it is possible to meet the one you are meant to be with while you think you are currently with the one you are meant to be with. But at least love is all around. Tinged with some hard feelings now and then and creating unwanted/inintended pain.
I think I replied out of step. I was thinking of my situation, not the original person who posted here. :)
Hi, I think it's good that your husband is communicating his fantasy with you and the fact that doesn't want to do it without you is a really good thing. I think the foursome idea is much better than the threesome because it benefit you both. I wouldn't just jump into bed with any couple. Make sure it's a couple that you both like and maybe spend a bit of time getting to know them. Me and my wife meet a couple occasionally and we have alot of fun and get on really well. We do meet other couples but you soon have favourites. The advice I would give is make sure you and your husband communicated and remember you doing this together. My relationship has hugely benefited from our experiences and so can yours .