My husband and I have the best sex life I could ever have imagined. We've been together for 9 mos and married for 1. He is 45 and I am 27. I am in so much love and it's both of our second marriage. There's only 1 problem and that is he is unable to ejaculate inside of me. This makes it hard to get pregnant which we are trying to do. He is capable of masturbating and achieving orgasm. I'm almost positive that his problem is psychological as he was abused when he was a teenager and had a sexual addiction up until about 8 years ago and healthy now after much therapy. His previous marriage was close to a disaster as his sex would always end with her crying and blaming him for not reaching orgasm, what a monster he is (she knew about the sex addiction-mainly he just masturbated in front of people, exposing himself-anything to make him feel like c**p)and so on. He keeps this in his head I'm sure. He is also worried that he's taking too long when he does try and that I'm not feeling good. I tell him to not worry about me for once, but this hasn't worked. I am so confused, worried and upset that he seems to compare his last marriage to ours when all I do is adore him and work hard to please him. He had two kids with her whom I absolutely adore but resent him, her and them for his being able to conceive "normally" with her. I seem to have to pay for her abuse. I do not make him feel bad about not ejaculating and keep telling him we'll do what it takes to conceive. It just really bothers me that he couold do it with her-only twice mind you-and not me. Help!!!!
I was never able to have an ejaculation with women. I never had a problem with erections when having sex with women. I could ejaculate with masturbation. I fathered one child without an ejaculation.
I went to a psychologist, at age 45, a time in my life where I was making more money. He told me I had a “timing issue” mentally where I was, in effect, “chasing my tail”. When I reached the point of ejaculation, the timing issue caused a loss of focus and I found the “tail” too far away to catch. These are his words.
He said I should continue to try to reach ejaculation but also to prepare myself for the fact that it may never happen.
A few years later, I had sex and before, I abstained for about two weeks. I tried a position I rarely used. I was standing up and penetrating the woman from behind. The position and tension on my penis caused an ejaculation. It was like a “whoosh”. It happened so fast, it still seems like a dream.
I've never had a problem since. Once I was over that hump, the timing issue resolved itself because my brain then knew the path.
Because I'm older, it does take longer.
I grew up during 1970s when the “missionary sex” position was prevalent, a position that never worked for me. I never was able to have an orgasm front-to-front, possibly because of the position and angle of the penis. In a rear penetration of the vagina, the sensation is greater.
I never told my friends or family because who can't figure out how to have an orgasm? This fact, of course, had a profound effect on my life. To compound the problem, once you've failed at this, you're not in a hurry to try it again. Women look at you like you're defective. And that adds to the problem.
However, if anyone is having the same problem, the simple solution may be to try extended abstinence and another angle or position.
Though I may have missed this simple fact, I am a blind man who was lucky enough to be given sight. I hope you will pass these thoughts on to others.
I went to a psychologist, at age 45, a time in my life where I was making more money. He told me I had a “timing issue” mentally where I was, in effect, “chasing my tail”. When I reached the point of ejaculation, the timing issue caused a loss of focus and I found the “tail” too far away to catch. These are his words.
He said I should continue to try to reach ejaculation but also to prepare myself for the fact that it may never happen.
A few years later, I had sex and before, I abstained for about two weeks. I tried a position I rarely used. I was standing up and penetrating the woman from behind. The position and tension on my penis caused an ejaculation. It was like a “whoosh”. It happened so fast, it still seems like a dream.
I've never had a problem since. Once I was over that hump, the timing issue resolved itself because my brain then knew the path.
Because I'm older, it does take longer.
I grew up during 1970s when the “missionary sex” position was prevalent, a position that never worked for me. I never was able to have an orgasm front-to-front, possibly because of the position and angle of the penis. In a rear penetration of the vagina, the sensation is greater.
I never told my friends or family because who can't figure out how to have an orgasm? This fact, of course, had a profound effect on my life. To compound the problem, once you've failed at this, you're not in a hurry to try it again. Women look at you like you're defective. And that adds to the problem.
However, if anyone is having the same problem, the simple solution may be to try extended abstinence and another angle or position.
Though I may have missed this simple fact, I am a blind man who was lucky enough to be given sight. I hope you will pass these thoughts on to others.