My girlfriend is coping with anxiety for 10 months. First three months she was OK, she wanted us to go everywhere, she wanted us to go to cinema, theater, baseball games, everything. Soon, she started to avoid this all. At the beginning I believed that she is not interested in baseball games anymore, but soon I noticed that she is not into anything anymore. I figured out that she is struggling with anxiety very bad and those issues are probably destroying our relationship. At least, I think so.
What to do now? How to stop her anxiety from destroying our relationship?
I hope you love this girl because anxiety is EXTREMELY tough. Is she going to a psychologist? I highly advise she goes because in reality no one can help you but yourself. I had anxiety and believe me its the worst thing in the world. Couple cancelling will most likely help.
I don't think that you can stop it. Once anxiety takes over, nothing can help you except overcoming anxiety which is unlikely to happen. Maybe, but just maybe, a psychologist would be able to help here but you would need one hell of a psychologist.
People with anxiety are known not to be able to handle relationships, this isn't a new thing, you should have known this before you started dating this girl. You might try and see where will this take you, but I suggest that you talk to her about all of this first and then you can decide what to do next together.
You are totally right! I extremely love her, but I think that whatever I do, she won't hear me or she won't accept my help. She told me that she is dealing with anxiety, but whenever I suggest her that we should take group therapies because I WANT TO BE THERE FOR HER, she refuses! Maybe she thinks that I am going to make fun of her or maybe that I won't understand what she is going through. OK, I won't understand, that is true because I am not in this situation, she is, but I really would like to be there for her and I want her to help me understand what she is going through so I can help her. Sometimes I think that she wants to dump me.
I am so sorry to hear this Kevin. You must really love her since you want to sacrifice yourself too much for her.
I understand that you are hurt in this situation, but you need to know that she is not herself while she is having those anxiety attacks. She is trying to deal with that on her own, but like Eating Boss told you, people in this situation can't really handle any type of relationship.
So you should not blame yourself about this. Again, try to convince her to see psychologist. That is the only solution for her. If she doesn't want to see psychologist with you, she should do it alone.
I have tried to convince her one day that she needs to go to visit psychologist and I was thinking that I will be able to convince her. But I was pretty much boring, I admit this so we had a huge fight. I haven't saw her six days after this fight. Than we resign and we were good again, but whenever I want to start to talk about her anxiety and our relationship, I feel some frictions in the air - if you know what I mean. Anyway, are there any other things that I can tell her, how can I convince her that it is good for her? I really want to save our relationship :/
I am guessing that she does not trust you enough in order to go to couple therapy, Kevin. I had a girlfriend as well who was suffering from anxiety, she didn't tell me right away but when she thought that she trusts me enough and that I won't run away because of this, she told me that she was suffering from anxiety. And then we went to couple therapies because I told her it would be a good thing to do and she started seeing a psychologist, again because I told her that it would be a good idea, she agreed because she trusted me.
I think that you are just not meant to be, Kevin, I am sorry to have to tell you this in this way.