Same old! "Im too soft". "Im not to be trusted" and if anyone will get the kids"It wont be you" It will be me says he
He's trying to intimidate you right now! so don't feed into it okay...just carry on with your normal routine and ignore what he has to say, their your girls! If you have to spilt custody with him then so be it, but they will still be with you! Have you spoken to any lawyers lately?
Ive not spoken with any lawyers lately. Im put off by them! But i guess ill need to. Im not feeling well today-upset stomach and finding it hard to breathe! Maybe just a bug!
I cant view posts any more-it comes up warning blah blah! ( Whats that!) To be honest Im really tired! Tired of talkiking about it etc)
Other things are happening which are seriously worryying.
Stay in touch though- im sure it will alcome out in the woods!
I cant view posts any more-it comes up warning blah blah! ( Whats that!) To be honest Im really tired! Tired of talkiking about it etc)
Other things are happening which are seriously worryying.
Stay in touch though- im sure it will alcome out in the woods!
Its understandable, it takes a toll on your body when you constantly think about it, but its hard not too when its an everyday thing...I would consider talking with your lawyer again then...
Not sure why you can't view posts anymore %-)
What stuff is happening that is seriously worrying?
Take care!! and what do you mean by "it will all come out in the woods?"
Not sure why you can't view posts anymore %-)
What stuff is happening that is seriously worrying?
Take care!! and what do you mean by "it will all come out in the woods?"
Okay, still cant "view posts" so dont know what happening here. Right, is he acting? Playing dumb? Is that what he is doing?My gues is YES! he states last night-owe I got you a birthday pressie, in front of my mum ..I ask"WHY?" 8-| >;) HE SYAS"I always get you one" ( which is not true!) So what do you think it could be-a letter from a lwayer demanding I sign these papers??
This is the thing that really gets to me too-there is absolutely NO social housing to be had and I think theres been a reduction on builds due to the state of the economyyet again I look up edindex and nothing comes up except aanother place in Niddrie-we may well have to go somewhere like that though-it might just be better than a prison sentence
I cant really go into detail about the other stuff, but im very concerned about my mums health and it gets worse thereafter ( thats, if i were tot ell you the rest!)I swore Id keep it a secret!
Still feeling nauseated, and daughter is sick home from school. Bothe children are rundown. Im worried that its a reaction to their grans death-the younger one doesnt seem to get it
Worried that ill have failed all my subjects on my course and want be able to return next year!
Worried about monies too!
This is the thing that really gets to me too-there is absolutely NO social housing to be had and I think theres been a reduction on builds due to the state of the economyyet again I look up edindex and nothing comes up except aanother place in Niddrie-we may well have to go somewhere like that though-it might just be better than a prison sentence
I cant really go into detail about the other stuff, but im very concerned about my mums health and it gets worse thereafter ( thats, if i were tot ell you the rest!)I swore Id keep it a secret!
Still feeling nauseated, and daughter is sick home from school. Bothe children are rundown. Im worried that its a reaction to their grans death-the younger one doesnt seem to get it
Worried that ill have failed all my subjects on my course and want be able to return next year!
Worried about monies too!
Ive gone mad. had such a bad nightmare last night I had to get my hair cut off.. it was a truly horrible nightmare. i had to nip myself to makesure I was awake this morning, and because there was a murderer in my bedroom, adn then trying to throw great big blocks of cement on my head as I tried to escape, and knowing that my hair was grabbed I decided to get my hair cutt off. It makes my concorde look even bigger-but I dont care!
You know normally you can wake yourself out of those kind of nightmares. this one was worse than any freddidie cruger, or more creepy than the exorcist. It was horrible!
You know normally you can wake yourself out of those kind of nightmares. this one was worse than any freddidie cruger, or more creepy than the exorcist. It was horrible!
Hmm-Im really unsure about this haircut! No biggie though....I dont know is anyone about- Ive got this total fear about ,e-what will I do next , kind of thing going on!
I dont want to alk about it anymore, cry about it anymore , think about anymore. i want out of it! I sweat!
If I go into private accomodation ( renting ) again- i could be doomed for life O dpnt know what to do. I have to do something fast too. Pls help...I was going to ask my boss if he could pull all characters together to heavy duty weight my furniture somewhere, but I chickend out..Ive had enough- but in all whatever i have, I cant even afford the rent and depossit. i can afford one but not both together
I dont want to alk about it anymore, cry about it anymore , think about anymore. i want out of it! I sweat!
If I go into private accomodation ( renting ) again- i could be doomed for life O dpnt know what to do. I have to do something fast too. Pls help...I was going to ask my boss if he could pull all characters together to heavy duty weight my furniture somewhere, but I chickend out..Ive had enough- but in all whatever i have, I cant even afford the rent and depossit. i can afford one but not both together
The good thing is that hair grows! But it always take awhile for a new hair cut to grow on you.
What do you mean a fear of what you'll do next?
I think you finally comming to the realization that you do need out, like you've known all along, but now really wanting to do it! Renting can be the answer though, and if you get that other job it will help with payments and having some extra money to save...why do you have to do something fast? If your comfortable asking your boss for help then go ahead and do it, this weekend you should look for places to live, in the newspaper or go to a local realitor to show you some places...sometimes places are willing to work with people, so you can ask the owner your renting from to work something out about payments, maybe you don't have to put a deposit down and just pay monthly rent...I never hurts to ask and try.
Good luck to you on finding a place!! Pround you've gotten to that point!! :-D
What do you mean a fear of what you'll do next?
I think you finally comming to the realization that you do need out, like you've known all along, but now really wanting to do it! Renting can be the answer though, and if you get that other job it will help with payments and having some extra money to save...why do you have to do something fast? If your comfortable asking your boss for help then go ahead and do it, this weekend you should look for places to live, in the newspaper or go to a local realitor to show you some places...sometimes places are willing to work with people, so you can ask the owner your renting from to work something out about payments, maybe you don't have to put a deposit down and just pay monthly rent...I never hurts to ask and try.
Good luck to you on finding a place!! Pround you've gotten to that point!! :-D
Thank you guest! That was kind. Ive a very good friend with a really open mind that totally understands me, she even makes me feel normal-bit like you and Bambi!
I will be looking into private rented accomodation 9 which isnt great-because here we can stay as long as, and rent is cheap and its a nice place) But just like everyone has told me before, its just bricks and mortar, ( though that annoys me sometimes because, bricks and mortar can mean a lot regarding health issues, ie no damp damage, stress, people breaking windows feeling safe in your own home is important to me especially for the childrens sake. So I will take it slowly and carefully and not run into any trodden down places with psychotics nearby ( as I have done so before).
Its horrible not knowing where you own home will be-but thats been apart of my life for a long time now!
Ive been horrificaaly pmted, psychotic neurotic, and wanting to spend money just cause I want to ( which is stupid) and Ive earache!
Thankfully hair grows ( well I hope mines not stopped) I dont get how some men go balled yet , hair on the body still grows after death Thats pure mad! Why is that? is it due to lack of nereve in the skull or what? Why if you shoot yourself in the head would you not feel it? Would you or not? Anyway, pmt is taling my life over now! Than k you guest whoever you are for being a friend, Take care!
I will be looking into private rented accomodation 9 which isnt great-because here we can stay as long as, and rent is cheap and its a nice place) But just like everyone has told me before, its just bricks and mortar, ( though that annoys me sometimes because, bricks and mortar can mean a lot regarding health issues, ie no damp damage, stress, people breaking windows feeling safe in your own home is important to me especially for the childrens sake. So I will take it slowly and carefully and not run into any trodden down places with psychotics nearby ( as I have done so before).
Its horrible not knowing where you own home will be-but thats been apart of my life for a long time now!
Ive been horrificaaly pmted, psychotic neurotic, and wanting to spend money just cause I want to ( which is stupid) and Ive earache!
Thankfully hair grows ( well I hope mines not stopped) I dont get how some men go balled yet , hair on the body still grows after death Thats pure mad! Why is that? is it due to lack of nereve in the skull or what? Why if you shoot yourself in the head would you not feel it? Would you or not? Anyway, pmt is taling my life over now! Than k you guest whoever you are for being a friend, Take care!
What about moving to Glasgow - fresh start!? Also this site has added a new thing, when you use key words at the bottom of the screen it states different diagnosis or thoughts about certain problems! I think you need to go on the Glasgow list - Leave EVERYTHING behnd, get a new doctor - new people etc. If not there, how about some where else! He is NOT leaving this place, and this place IS making you sick - either with mental illness or with toxicity (as in runny nose, vomitting, headaches, bloating, psychosis etc) When you leave - go to your moms or whatever, does your runny nose and wobbily eyes subside or deminish!
Ive thought about going back. Its almost as though i left a part of me there that wil never come back, something to do with confidence, Even Alex has said that she likes the poeple there-theplace seems so much bigger now than before, and I cant seem to reconnect with my friends..and Ive now made friends here...I dont know Bambi im certainly thinking about it...though I dont know if I could feel safe in that city-EVER!Stupid realy as its not like I fel safe here, and I feel this place is taken over by middle England( oh dear) I btter stick a sock in it before I go on rambling.
Dawn, my wobbily eyes come and go as does the dizziness, runny nose is pretty constant, and itchy throat, not been sick in a while , just felt lik eit, and last night I was asked"when is the baby due-are you pregnant? Who is he?" My stomach was so swollen andnow today it feels like ive done 10000000 sit ups and I wisj I had but I havent.
Anyways, I hope your okay I got worried about you as I hadnt heard from you in a couple of days.
About moving to Glasgow:
The good thins:
1) Probably more chance of gettting a job that Id like
2) Id BE OUT OF HERE!
3) The girls may love it
4)I like the city
5) I wouldnt have to comute through
Oh...it doesnt seem a realistic plan
The bad things:
1) ! i probably have failed my course.
2) How would the girls get to see there dada, and if i took ill it may be harder to get help 8-| 8-| 8-| 8-| 8-| 8-| 8-| 8-|
3) I would loose as much contact with my friends.
4) Mums furthere away...
Middle of the road.
A) i dont look like such a fried frizzled, pickled jakey there
b) No on wowuld know
C) Why am I craving Bruschetta -does raw garlic have addictive agents?
Dawn, my wobbily eyes come and go as does the dizziness, runny nose is pretty constant, and itchy throat, not been sick in a while , just felt lik eit, and last night I was asked"when is the baby due-are you pregnant? Who is he?" My stomach was so swollen andnow today it feels like ive done 10000000 sit ups and I wisj I had but I havent.
Anyways, I hope your okay I got worried about you as I hadnt heard from you in a couple of days.
About moving to Glasgow:
The good thins:
1) Probably more chance of gettting a job that Id like
2) Id BE OUT OF HERE!
3) The girls may love it
4)I like the city
5) I wouldnt have to comute through
Oh...it doesnt seem a realistic plan
The bad things:
1) ! i probably have failed my course.
2) How would the girls get to see there dada, and if i took ill it may be harder to get help 8-| 8-| 8-| 8-| 8-| 8-| 8-| 8-|
3) I would loose as much contact with my friends.
4) Mums furthere away...
Middle of the road.
A) i dont look like such a fried frizzled, pickled jakey there
b) No on wowuld know
C) Why am I craving Bruschetta -does raw garlic have addictive agents?
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Sorry Im just going to swear!!!! BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDD! Sorry i dont normally act like this!
So i was sittine eating my breakfast-which is me making revelations as for the past 4/5/6 years, ive struggles eating 2/1 meals per day without loosing a pound and constantly worrying about my image, so anyway, I was sitting eating breakfast , and buzzzzzzzzzzz. beccas goest o answer the door ...and its the posty, runs up to me saying "Mummy" Bug SMILE on her face, and I look and there you have it LETTER bloody nnumber 2 from his solicitors waiting on me to give away my parental rights, and if I have doubtsdoubts COURE i HAVE DOUBTS. I hate the bastard dont trust him, ewhat is he planning to go live with the girls in florida in his sisters villa because he doesnt give a flying saucer about anyone not even them , he doesnt care eneough he hdoesnt liste n to anyone . God I want my tits chopped of, seriously want them gone. i hate them I get angry when I catch men looking I honestly would love to go up to a stupid bloody ignoramus a wamker and punch theri lights out just for having a look Seriously though-SO SHALLOW. his brother has obviusly moved house to give him money to take me to court-hes obviously got money from some where, unless his mum has left him money weird.......if so that be the case, why the f**k doesnt he see the bigger picutre and leave me and the girls to get on with it...e an ugly fat baldy bastards anyway, and could do with a few ,ore brain cells.
Well, if your still reading here after that abnoxious rant -then your getting to know the true Katy...sorry calm down f**k Im now not thinking wine im thinking whisky double triple ...Im thinking shot gun in head and die and im thinking BASTARD GO DIE! i hate how he has even just treated our old bedroom. It used to look like a John Lewis showroom for a while, now it looks like an overused garage ( THAT SMELLS OF SPERM ! ) WANKER Surprised he hasnt got septic blisters on his hands. Okay anyway, ...this is something the proffesors o my course dont realise....but i know about the differences of the sexes a littl , and it is just a little-god why did I not have a brother dos I could understand men more? Anyway, yes, there was one seminar I wen tto last term and ...me and this other woman well we left the room nearly having pissed ourselves from laughing. I mean the guy carried on ranting about how men walk about thinking there fantastic all the time, and the womans perspective on things. and acted it out.coming from a man I thought that was quite insightful and put a new dimension on things adn it still makes me lagh! It wasnt anything new it was just really funny seeing it beig acted out, anyways, hes a .........please find a word for him!
So i was sittine eating my breakfast-which is me making revelations as for the past 4/5/6 years, ive struggles eating 2/1 meals per day without loosing a pound and constantly worrying about my image, so anyway, I was sitting eating breakfast , and buzzzzzzzzzzz. beccas goest o answer the door ...and its the posty, runs up to me saying "Mummy" Bug SMILE on her face, and I look and there you have it LETTER bloody nnumber 2 from his solicitors waiting on me to give away my parental rights, and if I have doubtsdoubts COURE i HAVE DOUBTS. I hate the bastard dont trust him, ewhat is he planning to go live with the girls in florida in his sisters villa because he doesnt give a flying saucer about anyone not even them , he doesnt care eneough he hdoesnt liste n to anyone . God I want my tits chopped of, seriously want them gone. i hate them I get angry when I catch men looking I honestly would love to go up to a stupid bloody ignoramus a wamker and punch theri lights out just for having a look Seriously though-SO SHALLOW. his brother has obviusly moved house to give him money to take me to court-hes obviously got money from some where, unless his mum has left him money weird.......if so that be the case, why the f**k doesnt he see the bigger picutre and leave me and the girls to get on with it...e an ugly fat baldy bastards anyway, and could do with a few ,ore brain cells.
Well, if your still reading here after that abnoxious rant -then your getting to know the true Katy...sorry calm down f**k Im now not thinking wine im thinking whisky double triple ...Im thinking shot gun in head and die and im thinking BASTARD GO DIE! i hate how he has even just treated our old bedroom. It used to look like a John Lewis showroom for a while, now it looks like an overused garage ( THAT SMELLS OF SPERM ! ) WANKER Surprised he hasnt got septic blisters on his hands. Okay anyway, ...this is something the proffesors o my course dont realise....but i know about the differences of the sexes a littl , and it is just a little-god why did I not have a brother dos I could understand men more? Anyway, yes, there was one seminar I wen tto last term and ...me and this other woman well we left the room nearly having pissed ourselves from laughing. I mean the guy carried on ranting about how men walk about thinking there fantastic all the time, and the womans perspective on things. and acted it out.coming from a man I thought that was quite insightful and put a new dimension on things adn it still makes me lagh! It wasnt anything new it was just really funny seeing it beig acted out, anyways, hes a .........please find a word for him!
I think thats a great idea Bambi!! and if you move away then its not like you will run into him on the streets...why not one evening while hes out, pack up your stuff and your girls stuff and head over to your moms for the night and then start looking for a place in Glasgow, at least it will get you out of the place and away from him while you look for a place.
The good things out weigh the bad! thats for sure, you listed a lot of positive things!! and it does seem like a realistic plan! and you can always commute to visit your mum or for the girls to see their dad...and theres always a phone to keep in touch!
Again..do NOT sign those papers!!! ever!! their your girls and you have every right too them! and he cannot take them out of the country to a different state, thats called kidnapping! so don't worry about that, I think right now you just really need to focus on getting out of there and finding a place and then being working with laywers to get custody of your girls!
Hang in there though okay! use this anger as modivation to get back at him! :-D
The good things out weigh the bad! thats for sure, you listed a lot of positive things!! and it does seem like a realistic plan! and you can always commute to visit your mum or for the girls to see their dad...and theres always a phone to keep in touch!
Again..do NOT sign those papers!!! ever!! their your girls and you have every right too them! and he cannot take them out of the country to a different state, thats called kidnapping! so don't worry about that, I think right now you just really need to focus on getting out of there and finding a place and then being working with laywers to get custody of your girls!
Hang in there though okay! use this anger as modivation to get back at him! :-D
What a day! I cant really report whats going on elsewhere- just in case-but its so sad!
To guesr-you asked me what I fearing/what I may do etc? I dont reallly know-but on talking things through with mum-well she did this hand action thing and said "He plays you until you are so far under you dont even know how to breathe!". Im not scared that I will snap and lash out at him-I know me better than that, im more scared of me anxiously trying to escape and making a hum dung mess of things.
My stomach is so sore-like i said its like ive done tons of sit ups every time I try to sit down its actually painful!
The thought of moving back to glasgow terrifes me-i dont have any contacts there from my past- well mind you thats a recent thing
Im thinking about it though- i do think it would be safer than staying in edinburgh.
Anyway, dawn-hope you okay ) not sore etc) and guest thank you for your support.
To guesr-you asked me what I fearing/what I may do etc? I dont reallly know-but on talking things through with mum-well she did this hand action thing and said "He plays you until you are so far under you dont even know how to breathe!". Im not scared that I will snap and lash out at him-I know me better than that, im more scared of me anxiously trying to escape and making a hum dung mess of things.
My stomach is so sore-like i said its like ive done tons of sit ups every time I try to sit down its actually painful!
The thought of moving back to glasgow terrifes me-i dont have any contacts there from my past- well mind you thats a recent thing
Im thinking about it though- i do think it would be safer than staying in edinburgh.
Anyway, dawn-hope you okay ) not sore etc) and guest thank you for your support.
This is painful. Ive had so much diarrhea-that I think my ...anyway, not going into the graphics, but its sore just to sit down!
I dont know what im gonna do. I have to get out of here I might do a mum and run of and spend the night in womans aid just for a night off/oh nope I cant thankfully ive just discovered hes on night shift
I dont know what im gonna do. I have to get out of here I might do a mum and run of and spend the night in womans aid just for a night off/oh nope I cant thankfully ive just discovered hes on night shift