I feel like I'm not here

I am a 27 year old female and have been experiencing the same symptoms off and on for 10 years. It started in high school and I remember walking down the halls feeling like I was in a dream all of a sudden. That happened a few times but it wasn't until about 3 years ago that the symptoms were really freaking me out. I did go to the doctor, was fine physically and she didn't have any answers for me. After have a couple years of avoiding that spacey and detached feeling it has started again which prompted me to find this post. I don't know if anyone agrees that going into large public places heightens the feeling. That would lead me to believe it is anxiety related. However, sometimes it hits me the same while I am sitting at my desk at work. I don't have many other anxiety symptoms though. I do wear contacts (but didn't when this all started), I used to get chronic ear infections as a kid and young adult, I have low blood pressure but an unusually high heart rate while exercising. I have a family history of anxiety. Does anyone else?

That's exactly what happens with me. I'm a 23 year old male and I've had this feeling for about 4 months.It didn't bother me for the first weeks but when it didn't go away I went to a neurologist. Basically he thinks it's anxiety related and possibly some minor depression, last 3 years were very stressful(college studies ) for me and I've been having some problems with sleep.I'm taking some anxiolytic meds for some days and it seems I'm slightly better although that constant daydream feeling is almost always active. I'm going to finish the treatment and then I'll post something here :) My advice for all you guys is; don't let the feeling take control of your lifestyle. It can be helpful to see a doctor if it bothers you a lot. Try not to think about the subject all the time and you'll see that when you're distracted or having fun with something the feeling minors or goes away. I believe it's also part psychological, so just have confidence in yourselves 8) I wish you all the best

You know im 17 and i have been feeling like this like im just watching myself from a narrators point of view so i decided to look up this stuff and since everyone in my age maybe its just something that happens to all of us? idk

gosh guys. i will help you all. i talked to my mom about it and now i feel so great as of a great weight has been lifted of my chest. it WILL not go away. you will just get used to it. you know WHY !? its part of GROWING UP ! its called ADOLESCENCE ! i talked to my mom and she has the same symptoms as all of us. yes i am 15 and a male. i woke up one day and starting feeling the same way. i tried hiding it for a week but it didn't work. i started to research stuff and started self diagnosing my self with anxiety and depersonalization. when really its just part of GROWING UP ! if your a guy, my uncle said all you need is a girlfriend cause then your inspired. LOL ! i feel so great. oh and yeah if your wondering when it goes away it doesn't. it stays forever. you will just get used to it like i am now. it just sometimes you will notice it more than other days. just remember this. as long as everything else is happening around you, you are ok ! oh and yeah, if you did some drugs and then you feel like this then yeah your messed. see a doctor. if it is natural cause its HORMONAL IMBALANCE ! im glad to help bcuz i feel really good. p.s. dont let it take over you, go out with friends, play some sports and get into a relationship. it will all go away and you will find it is nothing. oh and yeah, i know how you feel bcuz like you want to tap back into the old you and feel the same. your not. well you will but i mean you will get used to this. alright peace. hope i helped !

Hi, I found your posts really interesting. As a child I had a squint. I was told that I have percet vision in the eye that refuses to work. the eye that does work is very shortsighted. I have difficulty, but found that I could train to deal with it, saying as It came from birth, and considering, I was really lucky thats all thats wrong. Anyway, I get frustrated and saddend by it now, I cant seem to hold down practicalk jobs. people get frustray\ted with me, and me in turn, Its sole destroying. I cant drive, if I had perfect visioin Id live too, but I dont, i dont see the point in putting others at ridsk so dont even try. Ive fought all my life to "fit in", be so called "normal" and yes other peole stuggl e with worse difficulties, but its sole destroying when you are probably just as clever as the next person, but cant see what your supposed to do. Even in all determination and thats frigging frustrating, its more frustraing when your up against ither situations and you wonder if the mind is playing tricks. Okay confused-me too!

You guys don't realise how happy I am to have found this post! I thought I was all alone and things kept going through my mind at how serious it may be. I first felt like I wasn't here when I was about 14, it's been this way for 2 years now. It's pretty much taking over my life, I'm supposed to start driving lessons when I turn 17 which isn't long away and I'm too scared to! I'm scared that because I feel this way I'll feel that no harm can come to me and I'll crash! I went to see my GP and he took blood tests and everything came back normal. My question is still unanswered. I really really want an answer for this, though. I would give anything to get this sorted out and feeling 'normal' again. Maybe we should all chat online on a site where we can contact eachother fast, such as msn or something so we can try figure this one out together?

Hey everyone.. I'm 23 yrs old, female. I've always had problems with anxiety. When I was 15 I had panic attacks and after that I started having the "dreaming sensation". It did go away, but I can assure you that the same way the feeling went away it can come back.. I'm now 23 and the sensation is back for almost a month now. I went to doctors, tried medicines,but so far nothing seems to work. At least in my case, and most probably for some other people on this forum this is what we are experiencing: Depersonalization (or depersonalisation) is an alteration in the perception or experience of the self so that one feels detached from, and as if one is an outside observer of, one's mental processes or body. It is a feeling of watching oneself act, while having no control over a situation. A sufferer feels that he or she has changed and the world has become less real, vague, dreamlike, or lacking in significance. It can sometimes be a rather disturbing experience, since many feel that, indeed, they are living in a "dream". I was told meditation, yoga or acupuncture might help..I still haven't tried since I've been so busy with work.. but I'll let you guys know how it goes.. Like someone else said here thinking about it too much only makes it worst... so try keeping yourself busy!!

I understand everything you all have been experiencing. It started for me near the end of 8th grade in May, when I was 14. And it happened suddenly. It didn't start out anything big, but it slowly and gradually got worse until it hit me in the face. Since then, living has been hell. It's been almost a year now and I'm 15 now. And I want it to stop. I shouldn't have to live this way. I spoke with my mom about it once, but she put it off as 'hormones' and 'teenage stuff'. Um, no, normal 'teenage stuff' doesn't cause you to stop enjoying every little thing and become emotionally detached from everyone. My theory is, like some of you, Depersonalization Disorder. It matches perfectly with everything I've been experiencing. The feeling like I'm dreaming and don't really exsist, like nothing actually exists. I've become emotionally detached from people and anything I used to enjoy and I can't even stand being around my family anymore. Some people can put this off as 'anxiety', but maybe the anxiety is a symptom of the disorder, not the cause. It feels like reality did a 180 or something. I can't even sit and listen to things anymore. When I listen to people talk, on some level, it feels like I'm not fully taking in what people are saying and I’m afraid at some point 'm no longer even going to understand speech anymore. I can't think straight and my memory has gotten bad. And none of it has been getting better. The rest of you already explained all the other symptoms perfectly. I think one of the worst parts is the detachment from people. When I function and do things, it feels like I'm merely acting to make myself look like I'm healthy and happy, but I'm not. When I’m around people, I don't even know why I say certain things. It's like a reflex reaction, because you're supposed to react when someone speaks to you. I have a theory why this all started. Last May, my choir went to Disney World to perform. Afterwards we got to go around the park for free and yattayatta. I went on one of my favorite rides, one I've gone on hundreds of times before, and I got 'sick'. Not the throwing up sort of sick. I got extremely light-headed and fainty, which never happened to me before in my life. Ever. Thrill rides were my thing and I could go on one over and over again. But walking around in a half-conscious state and being light-headed is the ultimate sensation of being in a dream and it's messed with me ever since. It's a strange cause, but it sounds very logical to me, because my symptoms didn’t start until shortly after the Disney trip. I want it to stop. I'm terrified I'm missing life. I don't know what to do, because Depersonalization Disorder doesn't have much of a cure. I think people should stop worrying about abortion and genetics and stem cell research and worry about how the human mind works and try to fix the crap that happens to it. Physical pain is nothing compared to it. I can almost understand with cutters, because I noticed that physical pain doesn’t exactly hurt anymore. It feels like a nuisance that’s just there on the edge of my conscious. Something like that... But I think cutting is stupid, so yeah. We need to go on Oprah or something.

i feal like this also i feal like im here but not like im talking and answering everything correctly but its not me i dunno im very confused and worried..do any of yall have that fealing too?

Hi guys, I recognise all your symptoms. i was the same, but recently I just cant cope ( well, not so recent, I cope in practical ways, but not emotional ways), ive always -humphf! -really cannot explain , but like someone else is controlling my whole entiring being. then I realised ( perhaps, oh what ?10 years ago that I was coping with a magnitude of problems). I wanted to esacpes. huh, god I escaped to hell!!! So stay close to the ones that know you, even if you feel slightly unr\easy-sometimes it helpd. I know that sounds harsh, but believe gals and guys Ive been down not all ( thankfully) but a lot of bad avenues, that I would not wish on my partner , or my beatiful children. I cant state what happened to me, the other night, I went to bed, ( I had had a bottle of wine and also no dinner, plus some other thing I tokk) I think I went to sleep for about 5 mins, woke up dripping in blood . id had a nightmare and woke to one,. I was screaming- the cat was looking at me all evil and then pounced. to add to the already injured , he clawed my head. Anyway, i asked my partner to call for help, at that point he didnt take me seriously, until the blodd flow would not stop. I ended up in a and e and noe have lots of unanswered questions to adhere to. I have now both eyes al purple ( wuite liteallyt0 and a head that been put throw a vice. my point is, to anyone listening, teenager, or not, if you think your emotions are not socially adaptable seek advice, i didnt then I drnak I tried to end all feeling then I would not say I was trying to kill myslef, I am saying I wanted to end the way I felt. So, seek advice, or youll end up like me. Please get help andbe honest. its notnice the way I feel \and find no ne really thinks much of you, especially close family. ( They will br proud if you are honest now) love and hugs, and believe me, I now how scarry it is. take care x

I've been feeling this way since I was 11 or 12 or so, at first it felt like I was sleeping all day, every day, and that one day I would wake up in my own cess pool or something. Simply holding my hand in front of my face couldn't convince me that I was awake, it was as though I was seeing my hand through another set of eyes within my mind. Needless to say I went the doctor route, which didn't help whatsoever because they did all of the MRI tests, CAT scans, Xrays.... I had several of each. The headaches I experienced as a child came back, but this time full force. Whenever I moved my neck it would snap, and it felt as though someone was applying incredible pressure to my head. I couldn't recall memories on demand, so school was suffering. And now, nine years later, I feel so tired all the time, like I just got home from a long day of excersizing, even when I JUST WAKE UP! I'm so frustrated!!!! Because I DON'T want to feel this way anymore! It makes me feel so different from other people, and it's hard to not "think about it" because my speech gets screwed up too. I say something, and I have to correct myself after saying it because what I said to begin with didn't make any sense. Same with writing. I can't read out of a book because my eyes start to blur and I jumble the words together, and I end up sounding like I'm falling asleep. SOMEONE HELP!!!! I WASNT BORN LIKE THIS! Believe it or not, at one time I could THINK, I could FEEL, I could CRY, and all of that without much effort.... Now it takes everything I have to achieve any one of those. ANd I feel like a freak.

Do you guys think we will ever get better? I really really really don't want to live like this anymore - I'd give anything to feel 'normal' again.

I read some of the comments, most people are describing the same issues i'm having now. I've been on different medications for two years. Nothing seems to be working. At school (I'm in 11th grade), I get panic attacks every day at the same time along with random ones through out the day. for me I began feeling depressed in 7th grade but it only got unbearable in 10 when i tried to kill my self. Finally this year I've tried several different drugs to help me with my so called mood disorder, anxiety, and depression. They're not even sure what i have my doctor thinks i might be bipolar but he's not sure. After being on one drug for two weeks i didn't know who my family was. I went off but i haven't felt like my self since. I've completely isolated my self from all my friends, I'm scared to call people on the phone. So even if i do get better i'll have no friends by the time that happens. So this past week I've stopped all my medications in an attempt to get to the root of the real me. I thought the drugs made me forget who I am, but nope it was my underline issue. yesterday i forgot who my best friend was, but today i remembered. I thought of killing my self but decided it wasn't worth it. I think that it does get better with time and anyone else who suffers with the same issues shouldn't resort to hurting themselves. By going on this site and writing all this down it's made me feel better. Even if i feel like i'm not really here i have to hope that tomorrow i might. I honestly can say that i've completely forgotten how to be a teenager let alone talk with people. My anixety has gone away now i feel like i'm floating around not existing. But, i haven't been back to school yet since we're on break. I get social anxiety so i should know how i'm really doing when i go back. And as selfish as this sounds it's comforting to know that I'm not the only one feeling this way.

PANIC ATTACKS AND ANXIETY ARE LIKE BEING PARALIZED. I HAVE BEEEN THERE. ITS WEIRD BECAUSE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT IS GOING THROUGH-BUT YOU ARE NOT!!! AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT YOU WILL OVERCOME THIS POINT IN YOUR LIFE. SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED TO HEAR THAT IT IS GOING TO BE OK. I DEALT WITH IT FOR YEARS. IF YOU EVER NEED A LITTLE ENCOURAGEMENT GOD IS IN CONTROL EVEN WHEN YOU THINK YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL.

I am sixteen years old, and have been an active dancer for most my life. I started having these feelings in eigth grade, and they have increased since then. Reading this tonight has given me hope of a cure if not a way to deal with the problems i thought were just in my head all along. We are not alone in this problem! Here are just some ideas to think about to ease your mind from this: Anxiety of stress Diet imbalance (bad levels of certain vitamins) Sleep From what I've read, this seems to be a common thing among mostly younger people, if not teens. Anxiety and stress could be a leading cause to this "not being here" feeling which we all have felt. Just dont let it get the best of your life, and I think we will all be fine in the end! Get plenty of all your vitamins, sleep, and keep your mind busy! :-)