I feel like I'm not here

Hi I'm a 27 yr old female. I first experienced this 10 years ago during a low point in my life. From what I can remember, one day I just woke up like it. It was like I was in another life from the one I was in the night before. I still knew everything, it wasn't like amnesia. I had bad feelings and was so nervous about everything. The thought of doing something like phoning my parents or going to their house just seemed so unreal. Nothing was clicking but I knew it all still. Anyway this went on for about 8 months, I had blood tests etc but all were fine. I could never explain it enough and thought no one would understand. I thought I was going mad, like I had BSE or something. Like I was going into a coma and no one could help me. I did have hallucinations, kept thinking something was coming to get me and everyone was talking about it afterwards like 'poor girl' The only place I felt safe was in my boyfriends parents house and the night time was better than day time. I longed to feel normal again but didnt know what normal was...... Ok so that was 10 years ago and it did go away and I looked back thinking wow what was that!! I completely got on with my life, now I am a mum and I am engaged. About 3 weeks ago it all came back. I am freaking out but I know I have been here before and got over it. Docs say its Anxiety/depression. I think it is depersonalisation. Its all connected anyway. I recently went deaf in one ear due to wax build up and had to have them surringed. I was supposed to go back but didnt. Now I have seen that a few of you have had ear problems and that it could all be linked..... Also I have been under immense stress lately. I feel so unemotional and dread doing things I used to love. If I go out for the day, I don't enjoy it, I know whats happening but its like its all in a film. I can recall what happened perfectly but as if it was a film I saw a few years ago. Its like it happened in another life. I keep expecting someone to shout my name or my alarm to go off and wake me up from this horrible dream. Its nice to know that I am not the only one, although I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I think that positive thinking and talking about it really does help. I am going to try some vitamins. Also I have suffered from massive panic attacks lately (before this feeling came back). Just stay strong everyone and be determined to beat this

i am 14 and am a male i have mild vision problems and were contats i just started to notice this i feel like its almost like im living today exactly as i would of when i was consious its like my body is doing its routines wake up in morning go to class etc even when im talking its like i dont feel or think about them its really just like im not aware and feeling things that are going on but obviously as im writing this i still have some brain left!! the words im saying they just come out automatically im so glad that theres more than one person out there even as im righting this i dont feel conscious its so weird and i hate it i only started felling like this a few weeks ago i also recently as in the last few months feel like im going to pass out its so irritating because its so hard to describe im looking for answers on google i just want to get this felling to stop its annoying i just want to enjoy life if anyone found an answer please post it it would be so beneficial thank you and have a good day

Believe it or not, this is a dream like world. You are beingness. Your true SELF. What you are seeing and experiencing is a dream. Just like a night dream. Use meditation and ask the question "what am I". You will soon see your real self! Lester Levenson teaches all about this, and gives you ways to become fully realised beings. Check him out on the net. All Feelings are part of the ego, and if you can "let go" of these feelings, you will discover your true self! Check out the Sedona Method, it will help you! HOpe this helps! I feel great about life, and am still trying to find my true SELF.

I've experienced the feeling of light-headedness and sort of an awkward "fake" feeling. As if I'm not real, as if nothing could hurt me. I feel as if I am walking in a dream. I do not experience this often but when I do it's intense. I am sure that it does have something to do with low blood pressure or maybe even low blood sugar. I mean I don't think it could kill me or anyone else who experiences the same feelings but you really never know. Just ignore it and keep living that's what I do with all the bullshit I have to worry about. Like for example; I have a continuos fear of dieing, which is also normal. Like I said people, just let it go and keep living.

I have this too, like you're in a constant dream! I am a thirteen year old girl, and have had this for about a year. I haven't seen a doctor about it, but whenever I tell someone they think I'm crazy! :L I have never smoked, and have no health problems at all, it is really strange and it seems to be getting worse.

I feel the same way and I have always felt that way, like I'm not really here totally disassociated with my surroundings I just turned 23. It comes and goes. I wear glasses too but I don't know if that's the case. Whatever it is it's a very strange feeling, I feel like I'm outside of my body but not like I can see my self or anything, just sort of pulled apart and experiencing things in a delayed fashion....

I had this too usually when I feel panicky or am in a stressful situation.Ive been told its called depersonilization,its horrible. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization

Im a 20 yr old female. hello everyone im on the verge of tears because this has been happening to me for a while and i used to get freaked out and want to hide or something. I would wake up and almost start freeking out i would tell my moma nd even went to the emergency room once but they jus told me i was probably nervous about a trip i was soon to go on. i get these feelings on and off constantly and am able to function regular but like all of you have said it jus feels like ur in a day dream. i constantly think i will wake up and i sit and wonder if all this is real. i remember events from my past but then they feel like distant memories even though i remember them. i do smoke but this has been going on way before i even started smoking and i feel like sometimes this helps me. i drink also when i go out and am a heavy drinker at times. i am currently 20 and this has been going on way too long. i need help but am scared to recieve it. it sometimes feels like my brain is not funtioning properly and i may have some disease or soemthing. i seriously feel like i dont have much time to live because the problem gets worse and worse as time progresses. sometimes i feel like sleep helps and activities get my mind off of it but somtimes its so bad i dont even know what im doing. i am constantyl confused and i believe i have slight cases of OCD and have some nervous conditions. I jus wish there was a medicine i could take for this. Im so happy to know that i am not the only one ive been scared to google this for the simple fact something serious might really be wrong with me but its seems like alot of you share the same problem and that is more comforting than anything ever. it all seems like we are young adults and its started in our teenage years and acctually anxiety seems realistis to me but at the same time i really dont know. another reason i really never said anything to anyone is because of the fact that i had no idea how to explain how i was feeling. when i wen tto the emergency room years back i could not explain myself at all and it was a pointless trip but not that i have seen this it gives me some encouragement. I believe we all need to figure out what this is and get to the bottom of it. thank you..you guys have no idea how much this is a relief to know that i am not alone.

Everyone.. I have the answer. Seriously!! I know what's wrong with us! :-D It's called derealization and depersonalization. I've found so many links and they all match my symptoms. There's also people on youtube, just search derealization and depersonalization. I'm making an appointment at the doctor soon and I'll mention this to him I really really really hope you all get better and you don't feel this way anymore I think we've all just totally had enough of it. I know I have, 3 year non-stop. Ergh. Mail me and tell me how you're doing, ok? I'm more than happy to have a chat :-D I hope you're all ok! And read the links! They're really helpful! :-D

Hi guys, first of all i'd like to say thanks to everyone for being open and honest, as this really helps in understanding that i am not alone. Well here's some basic info about me: Age - 24 Sex - Male Drink Alcohol - No Smoke Cannabis - Yes Sight Problems - No Hearing Problems - Yes (tinnitus - ringing in the ears) Panic attacks/anxiety - Yes Blood Pressure - Ok Bad Sleeping Patterns - Yes Well up until 4 years ago, i always felt "normal". i was making a lot of money, doing not so good things, but feeling the big popular guy. Basically i had a big ego. and then all of a sudden that stopped when i got into trouble with the law. Anyway i went from making a lot of money to having to work for minimum wage, which at the time was a massive blow to my so called ego. Even though i knew of other people who had been through the same process as me, i felt that people were specifically only laughing at me. Anyway the first time i got this "dream" like feeling, was when i was travelling to my new job, which i DID NOT want to do. It literally only lasted for about half a second and that was it. It was a mixture of feeling like "i don't want to be here / i'm not here". And the more i was there, the more i didn't want to be there, and i felt so self conscious and embarrassed just being there. Plus smoking cannabis only made me more self conscious and depressed at the whole situation. Then as i went through the day, even though i was feeling "normal", stupidly, i would play on this "dream" like feeling, and ask myself am i really there? Sure enough, if you constantly ask yourself something, after a while the chances are you really are going to seriously question just whether you are there. Anyway this feeling then started to happen for a few seconds at a time throughout the day, and then at some point, not sure when, it now lasts the entire day, and has been like this for about 12 - 18 months. Just like i am in a constant dream. And you guessed it, my doctor told me it was anxiety, perhaps through smoking too much cannabis. My only problem with being told that it maybe to do with cannabis, is when i read posts by people who have never touched drugs, including 13 a year old girl. So that kind of makes me wonder even more, but also at the same time offers me some relief in knowing that a seemingly healthy young person, is experiencing these same feelings. The scary thing is, do i really have to go through another 50 or so years of feeling like this?... 6 months ago, i stopped smoking pot, as i was convinced i had something serious, so i had blood tests taken and also took up running 2 miles each day, and for about a 3 week period, although i wasn't feeling "normal", my perception of what "normal" & "reality" was, was certainly more clearer. And as a result my fitness & confidence also shot up, as i finally started to feel somewhat more "normal". I got my blood tests back and everything was Ok. Stupidly, because i felt more "normal" and my blood tests were good. I took this as a green light to start smoking cannabis again. And as we all know cannabis can cause depression, paranoia etc. So now i'm back to square one, in a constant "dream" like state, in a job and situation i do not want to be in, were i feel somewhat self conscious. The good thing now is that job prospects are looking a lot better for me, i actually want to start looking for a girlfriend, i have cut right down on cannabis and haven't smoked any for almost 2 weeks (believe me this is really good by my standards, as most pot smokers will know). And i don't think so much that i don't want to be here. Yes i still feel very "dreamy" at times, but to me i'm eliminating some of the very feelings that made me feel this way in the first place. THIS IS MY PERSONAL EXPLANATION FOR WHAT THIS FEELING MAYBE: From what i have read, most if not all of us, have suffered some sort of depression or anxiety. Either because we are feeling or because we are in a place that we do not want to be (social anxiety). I think that it may be the brains way of distancing ourselves from a situation. Its almost as if to say "ok, physically i can't be away from the situation, but mentally i can". And at some point your physical and mental self, become separated. Therefore, maybe if we try and gain confidence and not be fearful of certain situations, and i mean genuinely not fearful as opposed to basically being in denial and trying to convince yourself that you are not scared. And basically thinking "i do want to be here" then after a while surely you will feel like you are here. As some other people have said socialise, do the things you always used to do when you never had this feeling of fear and DO NOT think "i am here" or anything of the sort. Easier said than done and i totally agree, but once you know what the foundations are, to feeling better, then at least that can be a good starting point, from which to begin your new journey. The funny thing is i searched for this site, in need of an explanation, but at the same time i was also scared to find out what could be the problem. And having read everyone else's experiences, and also telling my own experience, it has given me a sense of clarity, to which i feel, if i follow my own advice then i feel that i can once again feel normal. Anyway here's hoping for the best. Thanks to everyone, you have helped me and hopefully i can help others. It would be greatly appreciated if you guys could tell me what you think, thanks...

And if all else fails and you cannot rid yourself of this feeling, then the only sensible thing to do is embrace it and get used to it. The stupidest thing to do, would be to worry about something that you can't do anything about. All that will do, is make a confusing and scary situation, even worse. Just be grateful that you still have full control over your senses and actions. And try to look on the bright side, people pay a lot of money to not feel normal, by drinking beer, etc. At least we get it for free and without the clumsiness, hangover etc lol. And remember "worrying" is like a rocking chair, no matter how many times you go back and forth, you always end up in the same space...

ime 21 and feel the same i had it cwite a few years ago wn i was obout 14 and i had anxity and i went to docters and they gv me a blood test that put my mind at rest then it all went bt i got it 4 weeks ago wn i was bad i must of had some kind of virus or somthink and after a coupel of days it went bt ive got it again and ive had it for a week naw and it wont go bt ime bad in a way and tyerd does enybody els feel tyerd and get realy dizzy somtimes please reply

i thought i was alone on this 1. im 21 years old and have a history of panic and anxiety attacks since i was 11. But recently this year this whole new thing came about. I would be somewhere "anywhere" than all of a sudden i would lose connection to every person and every object as if im in a dream. and then is brings on a full blown panic attack at the same time. so basically im looking around at things that i think arent really there and i feel like i lost my memory of the past few hours, but i really didint lose my memory, it just feels like it. i try to explain to people wats going on but theres no connection between us and to other people it dont appear to them that im having a problem at the moment, its in my own head and it is very very severe. sometimes i wanna flip out and throw things and punch the walls and get violent because it tauture and its eating me alive i feel like. its like i feel like im having the average dream but you know when u try to wake up from the dream, well i just cant wake up. I cant think clearly, i cant express my self, people look very strange to me also. even close ppl like family, they seem to look weird and oblivious of me and i have no connection to reality at all. to be honest i try to hurt my self "not suicidal" but i try to inflict pain because i wanna get rid of this feeling in the worst way. to me it is like tature. im hopeless and i feel like i cant be helped, even a hospital wouldnt be able to help me. im in the military and i been through hardcore trainning and im not afraid of getting shot at or anything, but when this dream or hallucination comes about, i get so afraid and hopeless. its effecting my life 100% and i dont even wanna leave my house. if you are having the same problems i would like to talk about it and compare it so we can help eachother because this is very extraordinary for me and im scared shitless of it.

damn i thought i was alone. i been suffering from anxiety and panic disorder since i was 11, and tonight is the 3rd time this happend to me, id be somewhere random than all of a sudden ill feel like im not attached to the enviorment anymore. like im watching myself in a dream and i have no controll over it. i would look at people and in my eyes they would look so unreal to me like there not really there and i cannot connect with them. i would have no urge for hunger, or sex, or tobacco or anything. i just go blank and in this dream state of mind. at this point i get really tired, my eyes feel foggy and my hearing is not the same, and i develope a full blown panic attack from this feeling. it feels like absolute tauture and i try in inflict pain on my self to get rid of it because its so frustrating,"no i am not suicidal" but i figure some pinching or punching and slaping myself will snap me out of it, but it doesnt. i need some serious help, im in the military and i cant have this happen over there. its like a dream that i fall into out of nowhere and i cannot wake up from it, no matter what i do. please please help i cant live like this. i would rather get rid of this feeling than have someone give me 100 million dollars, thats how bad this is, its ruining my life. send me an email if you have this problem we can talk about it and compare to see how we can help our selves. or send me an email if u know what this is exactly, thanks alot. ***this post is edited by moderator *** *** private e-mails not allowed ** Please read our Terms of Use

Hi my name is allan zepeda Hi yes once again I have the same feeling,that feeling that I am not here(im 17).It all started one day in 2004 in northdrige mall,ca when all of the sudden the sound got dull my vison and touch was ok BUT check this.I notice a side effect to this stupid feeling no i do not take any drugs except when Im sick like flew or somthing.The side effects that i get are well...here it goes."PREDIICTING 5-2 seconds into the future.Yes go head laugh..But for 5 year now since 2004 i have been imagining things in my head that would happen alot of them do "ALL I HAVE TO DO IN MY MIND IS THINK OF SOMTHING RARE THAT WOULD HAPPEN FOR EXAMPLE:CAR CRASH INFRONT OF YOU, THEN AFTER YOU IMAGINE THE SCENE IN EXTREME DETAIL AND YOU HAVE TO PRETEND TO SMELL THE ATMOSPHER IN YOUR MIND THEN LET 2-5 SECONDS HAPPEN THEN YOU GET THIS BOom CAR crash..Unfortunley somtimes i cant controll what i think.TO ALL PEOPLE NOTE, THIS MIGHT HELP(WEAR EARPLUGS AT NIGHT WHEN SLEEPING) by the way also know that,"Lucerfuers greatest creation was to make people think that they didnt exsist" look it up online WE ALL HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM(IN THIS FORUM) PEOPLE IN 1960 THE GOVERNMENT SPEAD A GAS INTO THE AIR THAT MADE THEM CONTROLL PEOPLES EMOTIONS!!! please if you get the prediction affect like me please reply!!! this could be a sign that the world is for you only well thats how i feel and also i feel like im in a DREAM for 5 straight years non-stop and it sucks!!! P.S : MY VISION (CHECKED BY A OPTOMITRIST) IS 15-15 VISION AND I DO NOT WEAR GLASSES AND HAVE BEEN USING A PC SINCE 1997-PRESNET so im in good healf but not..my brain.Remember the world maye look simple,but go head try the prediction procedure and see if it works "REMEMBER YOU CONTROLL IT NO ONE ELSE CONTROLLS YOU"!!