I feel that the large amount of money me and my husband spend on weed each month is cutting into us living a happy life, and having money to do the things we want to do, besides smoke. We spend about 560$ monthly on weed, and only make about $2,000 a month. With rent at $1,000/ month, and our smoking, we are left with about 440$/ month to spend on groceries, cigarettes ect. I know it's the right thing to do, I know it will benifit me and my family if both him and I quit, but I just cant find the will. When we get to the point where its either: pay rent, or buy another bag, we go with the paying rent first. In those couple days (usually one or two at most) I feel like I want to die, I feel depressed and almost suicidal. I feel mad and angry and I take my anger out on people around me. I say and do things I would have never done if I had some weed. I cant think straight and just feel like I dont know what to do with myself. I feel so anxious and uncomfortable. The worst part of it all is that I cannot sleep without smoking. I just get so worked up and upset that I cant sleep. Even if I try to calm down and lie there peacefully, I find myself getting up within the hour, pissed off, stressed out, and not in the slightest bit tired. I know its part of the recovery process, the withdrawls ect, but I havnt even tried to quit yet and I already cant stand how it feels to not smoke anything for one whole day. I have been smoking a large amount every day for the past 6 ish years, rarely missing a day. I know it is for the best, but i just find it soo hard to fight the cravings, espically when it is so easily accessible. We have gone into debt with multipule pay day loan places, on days where we paid rent and didn't have any thing to smoke. I need to start living the life I really want, and be a role model for my daughter. Please , anyone who has been through this give me your advice. I am looking for something said, advice, or just and experience, to really kick me into gear and get my life the way I want.
You are on the right track girl. The amount of weed you smoke will probably mean that it will take some time to withdraw, but in the end it is worth it and you have the strength to pull through this. The thing you have to try is stop simultaneously. If only you quit it might put a lot of pressure on your relationship and the risk of you relapsing will increase. If your husband doesn't want to quit, which I don't hope, he can't be around when you go through withdrawal, you have to put yourself before your relationship. I can't imagine that he can have any positive influence when he is high and you go through withdrawal. If he does want to quit too, I think it would be best to withdraw partly separated from each other, because else the risk of relapse is too big and being both stressed from withdrawal could make things hard between you. It would be good to have someone around to help you with anxiety though. I don't know what age your daughter is, but my advice is that she isn't around at the time.
It would be best if you both go into rehab. I can imagine that this is not an option if you don't have enough money.
I am not a professional, just someone who managed to quit weed and is trying to apply common sense to your situation.
The thing I did for sleeping problems is only take a sleeping pill if I did not get any sleep for two nights in a row. In the end I only used two pills during the three weeks that it took me to overcome the insomnia. Stick to that regime of max. 1 pill per 3 days, because else you risk becoming addicted to them.
Take care and good luck
Thank you, luckily he is with me every step and if i want to quit, so does he. He has actually said the only reason he continues to smoke is because he knows how bad I get when I dont have anything. Thanks for the support and advice, its exactly what im looking for.
That's good to hear, support each other when you can, move out of each others way when needed. Well, good luck to the both of you. It's a difficult step to take, but you will be so happy once you look back with a sober mind. Use the forum for tips about difficulties you might face during your withdrawal.