I have been wanting to have another baby (first born is 4years old now) for about a year now. Me and my partner are seperated but he wants one too. I have a neurological muscle desease called Fibromyalgia and am on epilepsy medication to contol it, i am also on antidepressants. When my doctor put me on the epilepsy medication i was told NOT to get pregnant because these meds will cause deformaties to the embryo/feotus. The medication has helped me with my condition, the pain was UNBEARABLE before i started the epilepsy meds, i still get pain but no where near as bad. Obviously if i want to have another baby ill have to get off the medication. I do admit im scared of the pain i will be in when off the medication but i feel guilty and some what selfish if i dont try for a baby.... as silly as that may sound. I dont know what to do and i feel like i have no control over my own body, which really upsets me when i think about it. I do really want another baby, i want my son to have siblings and be happy... I feel like a failure because of this. I honestly dont know what to do, has anybody been in a situation like this? I have no one to talk to as no one understands and Fibromyalgia is not one of those things that everyone knows about.. there is not much info on it and no cure. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, i feel really alone in this. Thankyou for reading x
I am very sorry for your troubles. However, beside being an excellent parent by not harming a newborn with antidepressants and your epilepsy medication. I think you should be looking at why you want a child? You are obviously depressed, your relationship is broken so you are raising a child by yourself? Why bring another one into an already broken home? Have you and your ex fixed why you are separated? A baby can't fix what is wrong. Being the kind and caring individual about your children concerns I know that you already have your hands full with the one you have. That should be where you are putting your energies. He/she needs you more than ever. You and your husband have cause this child to live with a pending divorce. He/She needs you, especially right now.
As for choosing to go forward with this, I understand your concerns. You have to get off those medications to have another baby. You will have to suffer through it for their safety it is a must. To knowingly, and you are aware, do otherwise is cruel. You would have to decide that your comfort doesn't matter. All that matters is the baby.
I feel for you. I just lost the love of my life. But, sounds like you have more on your plate than bring another child into this world. I hope that you are able to find peace of mind through all of this. Good luck to you and yours.
Thankyou for replying. No im not raising my son on my own exactly, i am still with my partner we just needed to live seperately for a while. It is complicated but there is lots of love in our little family. I understand your concerns regarding this and i thankyou for your honesty and caring advice. My son comes first in everything i do and every decision i make, I always wanted to have a few children, but now with fibromyalgia im worried that it could get worse and i wont be able to cope without medication in the future. I have not spoken about this with anyone before now and it makes me really emotional as i feel i dont have a lot of time to have more kids. The pain started off really dull 4 years ago and over time has got more and more painful and spread to different parts of my body. I would never want to bring a child into a broken home, things with my partner have been pretty perfect for quite a while now which is why i have been thinking about another baby. As for my depression, i will always have it. Besides my fibromyalgia things have been going well and i am happy.
I am really glad to hear this. I knew you were a very caring mother. You didn't mention that you and your partner had resolved the reasons you are separated. If you suffer from depression, aren't you worried you will give this and possibly the Fibromyalgia (depending on what caused this) to a new baby? So is your main factor of your Fibromyalgia associated with depression. Did you know
One study found that people with fibromyalgia who took part in a structured exercise program improved their symptoms, their self-efficacy, and aspects of their physical, emotional, and social function. The exercise program included walking and flexibility training with or without strength training. There are a lot of aspects that fibromyalgia that you will have to take into consideration. Not to mention that you won't be able to take the antidepressants during pregnancy. I suffer from it due to car accident. Chronic pain is the worst creator of depression. To suffer so, I am so sorry. You have a lot of big decisions to make. I hope you will find the answers you are searching for. Good luck.