I recently lost my virginity.
I was drunk...so drunk I can only remember moments. It was with a guy I knew for a long while but we never dated.
It felt okay at the time and I thought it was something I wouldn't regret, but as time is progressing (sigh) I'm starting to think it was a huge mistake.
We hung out and had sex again but it was kind of strange. I don't want to be with him. Is that a bad thing? I'm beginning to think that I should have lost my virginity to someone I love. But a big part of me thinks that sex and how it happens is a part of life and we all learn from our mistakes. I just think I should have thought it through and now I'm beating myself up becuase I feel used.
Any advice? :'(
I was drunk...so drunk I can only remember moments. It was with a guy I knew for a long while but we never dated.
It felt okay at the time and I thought it was something I wouldn't regret, but as time is progressing (sigh) I'm starting to think it was a huge mistake.
We hung out and had sex again but it was kind of strange. I don't want to be with him. Is that a bad thing? I'm beginning to think that I should have lost my virginity to someone I love. But a big part of me thinks that sex and how it happens is a part of life and we all learn from our mistakes. I just think I should have thought it through and now I'm beating myself up becuase I feel used.
Any advice? :'(
First let me say Im very sorry you lost ur virginity drunk...
But I understand how you feel I lost my virginity to a ***edited by moderator*** ** inappropriate posting** who didnt love me n only wanted sex I was stupid n I thought I loved him and at first I was like this is my best friend n he loves me we'll be friends forever now...HA HA Yeah right, he never talked to me again afterwards n told all his friends thats all he wanted n now I can just get the hell outta his life for a long time I felt terrible I kept beating myself up too. But then I relized it was a mistake a stupid mistake ***edited by moderator*** ** inappropriate posting** happenes n u just have to move on. Its been 7 months since then and now Im with the love of my life hes a GREAT guy nothing like that ***edited by moderator*** ** inappropriate posting**. N I figure you should do what I did ask god to forgive you for ur mistake move on n jus dont think about it you'll find a great guy one day that will really love you n I tell people Im a virgin if they ask cause the way I see it that was a horrible part of my life so Im gonna block it out n act like it never happened n if in never happened I would be a virgin... So hope this helps dont worry about it you cant change it LOVE YA if u ever need to talk u can email me at ***EDITED BY MODERATOR*** if u want... My name is chelsea God Bless Ya
***EDITED BY MODERATOR***
email addresses not allowed
But I understand how you feel I lost my virginity to a ***edited by moderator*** ** inappropriate posting** who didnt love me n only wanted sex I was stupid n I thought I loved him and at first I was like this is my best friend n he loves me we'll be friends forever now...HA HA Yeah right, he never talked to me again afterwards n told all his friends thats all he wanted n now I can just get the hell outta his life for a long time I felt terrible I kept beating myself up too. But then I relized it was a mistake a stupid mistake ***edited by moderator*** ** inappropriate posting** happenes n u just have to move on. Its been 7 months since then and now Im with the love of my life hes a GREAT guy nothing like that ***edited by moderator*** ** inappropriate posting**. N I figure you should do what I did ask god to forgive you for ur mistake move on n jus dont think about it you'll find a great guy one day that will really love you n I tell people Im a virgin if they ask cause the way I see it that was a horrible part of my life so Im gonna block it out n act like it never happened n if in never happened I would be a virgin... So hope this helps dont worry about it you cant change it LOVE YA if u ever need to talk u can email me at ***EDITED BY MODERATOR*** if u want... My name is chelsea God Bless Ya
***EDITED BY MODERATOR***
email addresses not allowed
no is not wrong .i was the same way my first time sucks i thought i liked him and i dident and it wasent even worth doing it dident even feel good because i dident care for him .if i was you i would just leave him be and move on .srry
my first time was a little scary to both of us because we were virgins. we loved each other and when we had sex it was the best feeling for the both of us physicaly and emotionaly. i think if i would have lost it to someone that i didn't care about that much i would have been disapointed too.
you learn from your mistakes that's true, just be careful because sometimes the mistakes that are made when you are drunk have NOTHING to do with you wanting it.
i was friends with a guy for about 12 years. my mom use to baby sit him. he is 6 years older than i. i never drank much i was always the protective one in the group. the one night i did drink around him and all of our other friends, i got real sick and had to lay down. i laid in his bed like i have many many many times before without worry. i was wrong. i woke up in the middle of him raping me. i was 18 years old he was 24. it hurt me the most not that he was having sex with me, but the fact that he waited till i was really drunk to do it. it was the one time i had been drunk around him the whole time i have known him. i tried to push him off but was so sick that when i leaned up i felt nautious and my head started to spin. i woke up the next day at about six am with all my clothes off and the door locked. he was naked sleeping next to me, and his cousin was in the bed too!! he was fully clothed. he would call my house 15-20 times a day and i would never answer. he would leave teary messages on my cell about how wrong he was to go about the way he did, and he was sorry and he missed me. he said because we were friends for so long he didn't know how to tell me that he loved me so when he got the chance to have all of me, he took it. he thought i would feel the same way. finally i told him " you dont take something that doesn't belong to you no matter how drunk you are, you raped me and i will never look or feel the same about you ever again. anything that we had, we have no more. loose my # or it's going to get you in a lot of trouble. i cried forever. he was my best friend, so i thought.
you learn from your mistakes that's true, just be careful because sometimes the mistakes that are made when you are drunk have NOTHING to do with you wanting it.
i was friends with a guy for about 12 years. my mom use to baby sit him. he is 6 years older than i. i never drank much i was always the protective one in the group. the one night i did drink around him and all of our other friends, i got real sick and had to lay down. i laid in his bed like i have many many many times before without worry. i was wrong. i woke up in the middle of him raping me. i was 18 years old he was 24. it hurt me the most not that he was having sex with me, but the fact that he waited till i was really drunk to do it. it was the one time i had been drunk around him the whole time i have known him. i tried to push him off but was so sick that when i leaned up i felt nautious and my head started to spin. i woke up the next day at about six am with all my clothes off and the door locked. he was naked sleeping next to me, and his cousin was in the bed too!! he was fully clothed. he would call my house 15-20 times a day and i would never answer. he would leave teary messages on my cell about how wrong he was to go about the way he did, and he was sorry and he missed me. he said because we were friends for so long he didn't know how to tell me that he loved me so when he got the chance to have all of me, he took it. he thought i would feel the same way. finally i told him " you dont take something that doesn't belong to you no matter how drunk you are, you raped me and i will never look or feel the same about you ever again. anything that we had, we have no more. loose my # or it's going to get you in a lot of trouble. i cried forever. he was my best friend, so i thought.
i was put in the same situation. although i have never really been religious, i waited until i was 18 to have sex (because in the back of my mind i always thought id wait until marriage), and although we hooked up several times before actually doing the deed, afterwards i felt a little used and sad because we werent even dating. He was 23, and a lot more experienced than me. now we dont speak, but i felt the way you feel for a long time, then i realized that at that moment in time, it felt like the right move, and you cant beat yourself up over it.
just be more careful with your next partner, and make sure you care about him before having sex. =)
just be more careful with your next partner, and make sure you care about him before having sex. =)
You know what, there are worse things in life n in 10 yrs it wont meen a thing, A few years ago i lost my virginity to my cousin which i will never forget. But since then lifes just been great, im engaged i have a baby and ive never been happier n all that stuff i did as a reen doesnt matter anymore. My feonce knows, we all do stupid things but the show must go on :-) keep on smiling
Let me echo the concerns expressed above. It's a shame that this won't be a better memory for you... but, it is what it is, and you will always remember it. (Maybe not all of it, but the emotional content will be with you...always.)
Lots of people engage in drunken sex. Many express regret afterwards. Some claim they don't remember, to distance themselves from the act, the choice, the partner, the emotion, etc. I have no idea if this is you.
I can tell you that my first experience was after drinking with a girl that I felt we had grown close together. We were pretty much in the same space going into the night... but, due to the drink, and some other unfortunate developments... a broken condom, miscounting her period, over-reaction to the posibility of pregnany... Long story short, the relationship fractured and did not progress. Now, I am left with bittersweet memories of what should have been a special night and turned out to be a nightmare.
Was it because of the drink? No. Would it have happened without the drink? Who knows.
The point is, you can't go back and change your first time. You can only go forward and remember the choices you made and why.
There isn't anything phyically different about you now (unless your hymen broke) than before... but emotionally, you now know what to expect, what you DON"T want in a partner, and what you EXPECT to happen the morning after and beyond.
Whether you feel that he used you, or have feelings of regret picking him to be your first, you can't change it. Some guys are heels... some are portrayed as heels. And some guys change how they feel about a gal after they have sex together. For some, it brings them closer. For others, they want to move on.
It's always hard to move on. But you do... you have to. Good luck.
Don't dwell on it. Grow.
Lots of people engage in drunken sex. Many express regret afterwards. Some claim they don't remember, to distance themselves from the act, the choice, the partner, the emotion, etc. I have no idea if this is you.
I can tell you that my first experience was after drinking with a girl that I felt we had grown close together. We were pretty much in the same space going into the night... but, due to the drink, and some other unfortunate developments... a broken condom, miscounting her period, over-reaction to the posibility of pregnany... Long story short, the relationship fractured and did not progress. Now, I am left with bittersweet memories of what should have been a special night and turned out to be a nightmare.
Was it because of the drink? No. Would it have happened without the drink? Who knows.
The point is, you can't go back and change your first time. You can only go forward and remember the choices you made and why.
There isn't anything phyically different about you now (unless your hymen broke) than before... but emotionally, you now know what to expect, what you DON"T want in a partner, and what you EXPECT to happen the morning after and beyond.
Whether you feel that he used you, or have feelings of regret picking him to be your first, you can't change it. Some guys are heels... some are portrayed as heels. And some guys change how they feel about a gal after they have sex together. For some, it brings them closer. For others, they want to move on.
It's always hard to move on. But you do... you have to. Good luck.
Don't dwell on it. Grow.
Many people regret their first times and wish that they had waited for the right person.
Losing your virginity to someone you don't care about will always lead to regrets - but at the end of the day learning from your mistakes helps you grow as a person.
I'm sorry that it wasn't what you wanted it to be, but when you meet the right guy, it will be so much better!
After all, it isn't such a big deal and once you've lost count of how many times you have had sex, it won't seem such a regret anymore!
So, move on, have fun and stay safe!!!
Losing your virginity to someone you don't care about will always lead to regrets - but at the end of the day learning from your mistakes helps you grow as a person.
I'm sorry that it wasn't what you wanted it to be, but when you meet the right guy, it will be so much better!
After all, it isn't such a big deal and once you've lost count of how many times you have had sex, it won't seem such a regret anymore!
So, move on, have fun and stay safe!!!
I totally relate to you. I'm eighteen, almost nineteen, and I lost my virginity 3 days ago. It was only one night visit to a town 6 hours away from my home and I pretty much let loose and got drunk at a party me and my cousin went to. There I met a guy who seem really interested in me and one thing lead to another, we were making out at his house. I was too drunk to know what's going but after a while I sobered up a bit and realized I just lost my virginity to a total stranger. I got scared and left right there without him finishing and ran off to find my cousin in tears. I cried all morning but I decided that since I'm leaving that place anyway, I'm just gonna leave and not look back. Sure, I regretted not losing it to someone who loves me and who I love but... I can't just sit here in regret.
Actually, I have yet to tell anyone about this. I'm too scared to admit it so I thought I could start off here. I was gonna tell my best friend this weekend since I hanged out with her to keep my mind off things but I chickened out at the last second because she's one of those girls who is saving her virginity when she gets married so I feel ashamed to tell her. I will tell her though because I really need her support.
I hope you're feeling better now though <3 Keep holding on
Actually, I have yet to tell anyone about this. I'm too scared to admit it so I thought I could start off here. I was gonna tell my best friend this weekend since I hanged out with her to keep my mind off things but I chickened out at the last second because she's one of those girls who is saving her virginity when she gets married so I feel ashamed to tell her. I will tell her though because I really need her support.
I hope you're feeling better now though <3 Keep holding on
Satu,
You dont' need to tell anyone about this.
If there's been no aftermath, no STI, no pregnancy, and you're not in meltdown, there's no reason to share this at all.
You can keep your experience to yourself, and if you find that it's important to someone else down the road, you don't have to confess anything to anyone. Just let them believe what they want.
Your sexual history is your own.
Keep it that way.
You dont' need to tell anyone about this.
If there's been no aftermath, no STI, no pregnancy, and you're not in meltdown, there's no reason to share this at all.
You can keep your experience to yourself, and if you find that it's important to someone else down the road, you don't have to confess anything to anyone. Just let them believe what they want.
Your sexual history is your own.
Keep it that way.
I know how you feel :( I'm 15 years old and just lost my virginity last weekend when I was drunk, to a guy from my school who Is in the year below me... I am so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I always wanted to do it with someone I loved and when I was older, I keep thinking its just some kind of bad dream and I'm going to wake up soon, I can't actually believe that I just lost my virginity - that was something that I treasured.
And I don't even go out drinking that much! I've gone to 2 parties and this was the third time I have drunk. I try not to have regrets but how can I possibly see this as a good thing.. He's had sex with 3 other girls before , I'm sure this wasn't a big deal for him but it sure was for me- but since I was drunk I didn't realize what I was doing :(