Browse
Health Pages
Categories
Menu

My 14 yr old is pregnant

By Guest | 58 posts, last post
Dr Artem Agafonov answered this When Do Women Under 18 Need Parental Consent for Abortions?
Read more
New Reply New Topic

SaddenedMom

Just wanted to let everyone know, my daughter came to her senses and actually came to see me not too long ago. We are working on our relationship and I even got to see my little grandaughter. I want to thank you all for your support in what was honestly the worst time in my life. Thank you all.

Reply

nonamejustsex

ur welcome xo
Reply

Arioli261744

I understand why you're angry, but you need to be able to see this from her POV. At 14, she'll want to grow up really quickly, want to do everything and see everything whilst she's still young, right? At school you get told you're a young adult, they don't want to be wrapping you in cotton wool, etc. Then her mum decides she can't see her boyfriend. It's like all the independence she's gaining is suddenly being taken away and she will have been angry. Adults discuss things, right? They compromise. And you being completely unwilling to change was just another kick saying, "no I don't care what you have to say, my word is final, I know what's best for you, you're just a child." I know 14 is still a child, but you have to understand that we're being taught to grow up younger and younger these days. With teenagers you have to be able to trust them to have good judgement, and if they make mistakes then be there for them. Freedom is great, but she had to have known her boundaries. Was she able to talk to you about sex, boys etc with you? Children need strict boundaries for good reasons, but you have to (not loosen them) but be slightly more flexible the older they get. In this case, I am encouraging you to get the courts involved. You will have a case.
Reply

pierreK

look, im a 15 year old and honestly know a lot of younger girls with boyfriends that are in their twenties. I know you wont agree but I believe from personal experience your daughter is in love which might sound crazy because you think we are "children" but if she lied to you about it..it was because she didn't want you to be disappointed in her and all she wanted was your approval which she knew she wouldnt get cause you told her not to date him. but think about if when you were gonna have your daughter, someone who is supposed to love and care for u kinda turns their back and tells you to get rid of new life. it seems her father understands. just tell her you love her and support her and wanna be a real grandmother to her baby if you want her in ur life. cause i know how she feels and thats all she wanted from the beginning
Reply

Guest

Support her she needs someone and trust her more don't be the evil mom
Reply

Guest

Gram gram probably to old to take a hike and u said "I flipped out. I called her dad and he flipped out"If I had sex and my parents flipped out on me I'd be like fuk u...like me I am stupid.But I don't do stupid sh*t cuz my moma keel mi dead...lol.u need to dicipline.U need to be strict.U want to get worse and worse till she stops what u want her to stop doing.Make her life total Hell.U must ensure discipline.Once that works relax and don't be a total party pooper but keep ur disciplinary skills.Show her u will do what needs to be done in order to correct her behavior.And reward her for the good stuff.Give her a break,let her have fun...BUT...when sh*t goes down u give her Hell.Ground her
Reply

sage_advice274770

I will tell you and any other mother's reading... what you might already know... but here's a poignant reminder.

this is not a case of rape. a one year secret relationship? words of love? it is perfectly natural. age gaps and all. don't be a naive, fundamentalist. rape. 

and it isn't the grandmother at fault. it isn't the daughter at fault. it isn't the father at fault. 

you made the mistake by being the mother your daughter could not trust.

it's always the same: super strict parent that can't have a truly open & honest relationship with their child because the parenting approach is ridiculously apprehensive, conservative and unrealistic.

love is beyond a parental ban. sex is a natural occurence between lovers. SO USE SOME LOGIC. AND USE SOME HUMAN UNDERSTANDING. a supportive yes to all things, ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY love/sex works better in every scenario and in fact offers the parent more control in the long term. 

 ***this post is edited by moderator *** *** inappropriate posting*** Please read our Terms of Use

 

 

Reply

Guest

WHERE IS YOUR GRANDAUGHTER'S FATHER????????? If he abandoned the family that's ANOTHER REASON TO TAKE HIM TO COURT. Seriously, though, he raped your daughter, left her with a baby and I presume ran off after. If he didn't, then sorry, but he STILL RAPED A KID!!!!!!!!!!
Reply

Guest

How are things now?

Reply

meee123

My best advice is to hang in there! Every girl needs their mum! And baby will need its grandma! I fell out with my mum when I was 16, and we didnt speak again until I was 20, but we are rebuilding on this now. Try writing her a letter - if that doesnt work, make sure you apply for rights to see the baby! Grand parents have rights! And your daughter is allowed not to want to see you, but she isnt allowed to keep your grandchild from you without good reason. Be there as a grandma and show your support. I know you feel sad, but if she is a great mum, and brings up the baby right - who is to say that it was a bad thing? You will get through this xx
Reply

guest

With how much u seem to LOVE dictating her life, u honestly don't seem like a good parent. Yes, she shouldn't have had sex. Yes that guy is a pedo, I'm on ur side on those. But you can not dictate what she does with the baby. What u need to do is get a DNA test to check If the guy is the father, OR if u nail him on sending her nudes or something, be warned, if she sent nudes of herself, BOTH of them get charged. If she decides to live with her father, so be it. If she feels she made the wrong choice, she will come back. And u can't constantly call and text and email, they need time to cool down. And calling her immature and unable to make decisions on her own is insulting her. Are you really going to insult ur own daughter? She probably wants to keep the baby because it is human instinct to protect it, just as u want to protect her. Ask the police if they can help u get the guy to take the DNA test. DO NOT pressure her or be mad. Pressure can actually do physical and mental damage to her permanently. The child's mind is a delicate thing, and a punishment will be met with a retaliation. Now that she doesn't want to see u, u should understand why her grandma wanted her to see her. The more control u have over her, the more stress she'll have, leading to breakdowns, and if u keep causing her stress, It could go as far as suicide.
Reply

Guest

I really appreciate that there is another mom out there going through the same (or has gone) as me. Just found out that my 14 yr old is pregnant with a 19 yr old boy...(a troubled one at that according to his parents). I study law and here in canada where we live there is absolutley nothing that i can do....12,13=2 year radius 14 and above=5 yr radius. It makes me sick. As a teenager I remember the biggest transitions between 14-16......Its Night and day. All I can do is try to be somewhat supportive.

Hang in there

Reply

Guest

I'm a 49-year-old grandmother, and I've just given birth. The father is my 14-year-old grandson. I couldn't hep it as sex with him is just fantastic, and I thought that at my age I couldn't get pregnant as my periods have become so irregular.
Reply

Guest

Is she breastfeeding?
Reply