I'm a 20 year old male who lives with my father, i am his carer and help him out with daily things he struggles with and i too have my own life which he understands but a few things stop me in life, he is worried about me getting a job as we may lose the benefits were on as he says the job center is corrupt, he won't let me groom my body and even though I'm 20 he grew up in the 60's and in that day there was no body grooming or anything for men so after growing up in the times now he realizes what people do and is disgusted by it, i have an electric body trimmer i use weekly on my face because i hate facial hair and he asks "what are you doing mike?" like i am using it on my pubic hair but it's just for my face, he then ends up being depressed because he judges me on my body, he is also homophobic and have explained to him that i am bisexual and happy but he can't accept it. A year ago i developed scrotal sebaceous cysts that were caused by blocked sperm tubes and shaving i was addicted to shaving my scrotum and did it incorrectly and lead to blocked hair follicles and white hard scrotal cysts which in 2 months getting them removed but my dad found out why and had a go at me for shaving down there. I end up having to do my grooming when he is out, i also masturbate as i am a virgin and even though there is 101 things wrong with pornography i still watch it to relieve this daily stress i go through, so how do i go about doing this? I want my dad to be happy and accept my habits not have a go at me as soon as he hears a 'buzz' in the bathroom. I know there are reasons for pubic hair and i know what I'm doing is wrong but it's my body and i can do what i want with it, it stops unwanted smells down there, i can shower easily instead of having to get rid of a musky smell by constantly washing down there, i just want to be happy i am also unemployed as this carers thing is a lot of responsibility and we could face a huge bill if i lose the benefits. My dads going away next year to spend the rest of his days so i will have to get a job then but in the meantime i want my dad to be happy the way i am or choose life, my porn addiction will go eventually as you get older and get a sex life it goes away. I'm self conscious, not confident and confused and feel my life is a prison.
Hi Mike,
Get someone else as a "carer." You have your own life ahead of you so move on. You're not being treated as a son, you're being treated as a slave.
Sorry if it sounds harsh but your father is being selfish. You NEED to move on with your life.
It's not YOUR fault that your father needs care. You should not be and in most places are not responsible for that care.
Go out, have fun, find a job, do things a typical 20 year old does.
Good luck - you are going to need it.
Dude i appreciate the advice! I thought you would lecture me about how my pubic hair i should keep or watching porn but to say that? Thanks so much, thing is right is i know I'm off on one here but my dad is doing work on the house so when he goes away next year his idea of the carers allowance is to not get a huge bill apparently he's 'safe' because I'm his carer i mean what were doing is illegal but even then i don't know the ways of the world because I'm in this restricted situation i mean all i want is for my dad to stop lecturing me about my shaving habits it's my body and i feel cleaner doing it and i want him to not go on about it i agree there are dangers involved but he's wrong in saying these cysts are caused by shaving because i do it correctly. It's a blocked sperm tube which is normal. I know loads of people who shave there junk it's not a bad thing. I am being used but have no idea how to handle it i mean i can get a CV together and work legally 15 hours a week but i have low grades, a sh*t living and don't even know how to write a CV and if what my dad saying is correct I'm put off with the idea of the job center but only to make my dad happy i mean i don't want us to face huge bills because what my dad is doing is amazing and i could end up a land lord letting the house = backup money coming in. But at the same time i don't want to be stuck indoors all the time and want a 5 day job but because i can only work 15 hours legally with the carers allowance what's the point because after 2 days I'm still sitting on my ass all day. Any advice how to handle this? By the way thumbs up for that you have been awesome!
Sebaceous cysts are not blocked sperm tubes, they are blocked oil glands.
How about walking down to the nearest recruiting office and signing up. The army, navy, air force, coast guard, and marines will help you. You can get a good career through them.
You have options. Yes it is hard to give up what you know for the unknown but you need to move on.
Good luck.
Don't fancy joining the army dude, can't handle the pressure it's fine though i have thought about it and getting my CV together then going to a job agency somewhere not the job center but an agency that deals with my situation :) I thought about it and 15 hours a week isn't bad but all i need to worry about is getting by with no money as wages are every 4 weeks. Thanks for the advice though!