HELP!
My daughter is 12 years old. She has had her period for only a few months BUT she refuses to wear any type of femine protection products. I have purchased every type and size available. She complains they are uncomfortable and then lies to me about wearing them.
I only know if she has her period and that she is not wearing anything because I find the dirty stained clothes and underwear in the laundry.
I have tried talking to her about it, and I have tried asking her about it. I cant get through to her. I even told her if she was going to make those kind of messes she would have to clean up after herself (which she will do, if I tell her I found a mess)
I find it disgusting that she would prefer to bleed everywhere then to wear something. I think she is embarassed and would prefer not to deal with the issue at all but SHE MUST! Ignoring the problem and pretending she isnt on her period is not an option.
What do I do?
My daughter is 12 years old. She has had her period for only a few months BUT she refuses to wear any type of femine protection products. I have purchased every type and size available. She complains they are uncomfortable and then lies to me about wearing them.
I only know if she has her period and that she is not wearing anything because I find the dirty stained clothes and underwear in the laundry.
I have tried talking to her about it, and I have tried asking her about it. I cant get through to her. I even told her if she was going to make those kind of messes she would have to clean up after herself (which she will do, if I tell her I found a mess)
I find it disgusting that she would prefer to bleed everywhere then to wear something. I think she is embarassed and would prefer not to deal with the issue at all but SHE MUST! Ignoring the problem and pretending she isnt on her period is not an option.
What do I do?
Dear mom412 This is a difficult dilemma
OK Mom, I am trying to give two sides to this for you, It does not mean that I wound wish you to be real harsh on your child, but it may be necessary to prove a point;
"Wear your hygiene protection when needed."
Here is your deal to your daughter, that as of Friday Sept 26, 2008, she will start to wash and take care of her own clothes, so there is not any complaints about "this did not get washed & I am suppose to wear it today" problems. If she wishes to ask about how something is to be washed, you will answer those questions, but not wash her clothes anymore.
If you are willing to step out and say, "You will only get new clothes to replace the old ones only when you have out grown them." YES this is a mean thing to say to anyone, but the idea is to have her think "these are the only clothes I will be wearing until when?" "Take good care of them or not have any nice clothes to wear out of the house." missing parties and other fun things because of all stained clothes.
Try to find something in these following web pages, and look with her, to show your support about her changing times, and the stories you have, or can remember to tell her about your.
:-| have you given her a grown up or "period party"? This can be a private thing between family members, or to a friend’s invite (don't tell the other girls why)
Now to your question, asking some questions; she is 12,
What grade is she in? 6th and middle school? She may feel uncomfortable if she is one of the first ones in her class to having periods,
She has hair growth? to what degree? "showing herself off" in front of the other girls not fully in to puberty yet, is very scary. (can you remember)
What does the school do for gym classes for the girls on their periods?
Does any of her close friends "got their period yet?" find this out and talk to her close friends moms, and see if someone "she talks to and listens to" will help you out more with this.
This is sometimes the best way, as most kids will not like to be around their own parents, but some one else’s they will. We are all funny that way.
So she refuses to wear any type of feminine protection PADS, Always seem to be a great fit, slim/thin and works good. Have you tried to find the slims/small (extra lite) tampons and have her try them? (If she wears them, it is the steps in the right direction) wearing pads, she just might not like to see what has started to happen to her, right now, at this time of her life.
So the first thing you should tell her after you read this is that; I Love You;
This is a difficult dilemma, but work hard to go forward, not backwards or sideways.
RT
wish to hear about the results and your comments Thanks
OK Mom, I am trying to give two sides to this for you, It does not mean that I wound wish you to be real harsh on your child, but it may be necessary to prove a point;
"Wear your hygiene protection when needed."
Here is your deal to your daughter, that as of Friday Sept 26, 2008, she will start to wash and take care of her own clothes, so there is not any complaints about "this did not get washed & I am suppose to wear it today" problems. If she wishes to ask about how something is to be washed, you will answer those questions, but not wash her clothes anymore.
If you are willing to step out and say, "You will only get new clothes to replace the old ones only when you have out grown them." YES this is a mean thing to say to anyone, but the idea is to have her think "these are the only clothes I will be wearing until when?" "Take good care of them or not have any nice clothes to wear out of the house." missing parties and other fun things because of all stained clothes.
Try to find something in these following web pages, and look with her, to show your support about her changing times, and the stories you have, or can remember to tell her about your.
:-| have you given her a grown up or "period party"? This can be a private thing between family members, or to a friend’s invite (don't tell the other girls why)
***this post is edited by moderator *** *** web addresses not allowed***
Now to your question, asking some questions; she is 12,
What grade is she in? 6th and middle school? She may feel uncomfortable if she is one of the first ones in her class to having periods,
She has hair growth? to what degree? "showing herself off" in front of the other girls not fully in to puberty yet, is very scary. (can you remember)
What does the school do for gym classes for the girls on their periods?
Does any of her close friends "got their period yet?" find this out and talk to her close friends moms, and see if someone "she talks to and listens to" will help you out more with this.
This is sometimes the best way, as most kids will not like to be around their own parents, but some one else’s they will. We are all funny that way.
So she refuses to wear any type of feminine protection PADS, Always seem to be a great fit, slim/thin and works good. Have you tried to find the slims/small (extra lite) tampons and have her try them? (If she wears them, it is the steps in the right direction) wearing pads, she just might not like to see what has started to happen to her, right now, at this time of her life.
So the first thing you should tell her after you read this is that; I Love You;
This is a difficult dilemma, but work hard to go forward, not backwards or sideways.
RT
wish to hear about the results and your comments Thanks
Have try tampons yet and yes a 12 year can use them jest fine
like i saw in the post Guest had written, i think you should start slow and steady with her, using the ultra-light, slim pads and working your way up. i had the same issue :$ when i was 12, but i could not stand having stains so i wound up forcing myself to wear pads. i started slow, backed up by my mom, and worked my way up to the point i was coming out spic and span every period. it may be an issue for a while, but i'm sure if you get her started it will smooth out.
:!:
In there lies your problem, no wonder shes embarrassed. Jeez
I'm 23, I've had my period for over 10 years, in the last 2 years I've not used products, if feels better for me and you know what, there's no problem with that.
*she would prefer to bleed everywhere* I dont *bleed everywhere* I wear underwear, it's not like bloom is spurting out, getting everywhere.
Wow..
You're telling me at 12 yrs old you still do her washing? wow
Maybe it's time she started doing her own washing, if only to save face for you.
I'm 23, I've had my period for over 10 years, in the last 2 years I've not used products, if feels better for me and you know what, there's no problem with that.
*she would prefer to bleed everywhere* I dont *bleed everywhere* I wear underwear, it's not like bloom is spurting out, getting everywhere.
Wow..
You're telling me at 12 yrs old you still do her washing? wow
Maybe it's time she started doing her own washing, if only to save face for you.
Joannecooke wrote:
mom412 wrote:
You're telling me at 12 yrs old you still do her washing? wow
Maybe it's time she started doing her own washing, if only to save face for you.
i'm 16 and my mum does my washing for me? she finds it easier to do everyones washing instead of everyone trying to get in the utility room doing it all. easier to do everyones at the same time & it's cheaper! she might do her washing but i bet she still has to tidy her room and clean up after herself.
& yes, it is disgusting not to wear anything when your on your period because if your quite heavy then it's going to leak through your nickers and onto your pants! it's much easier to carry a few pads or tampons around in a handback than about 10 pairs on nickers. pads and tapons are absorbant, nickers arn't!
SHE CAN'T WEAR TAMPONS, UNLESS SHE WANTS TO LOSE HER VIRGINITY TO ONE. This is either a control issue, or a psychological wall she is putting up to guard herself against maturity. My daughter is 11, and refuses to wear them also.
I posted earlier and we found out why my daughter won't wear pads. SHE HAS TOURETTE'S SYNDROME AND SEVERE OCD. Nothing about her symptoms have to make sense, she will step in dog poo and leave it on her bare feet, but wearing a pad--that feeling would literally drive her crazy (crazier). If your daughter won't wear pads, there could be an underlying mental illness and not just another teen being belligerent.
Try pants like Tena Lady.
You could get her to try tampons because then they are hiden and she will not be able to feel them so much
Once again, tampons break the hymen. Who wants to lose their virginity to a tampon? And, you need to wear some sort of pad or liner when you wear a tampon. In addition, a tampon is sometimes very uncomfortable if not inserted exactly right.
Hello Slowjawphyla, I am a Reproductive Health educator and I want to clear up that if someone a virgin and use a tampon, it will not take their virginity. The loss of virginity is when someone have sex for the first time. And as for the hymen, yes a tampon can break your hymen but there is also other ways for your hymen to break. You can ride a bike and it will break. And you don't need to wear a pad or liner if you have a tampon in but I think for the first few days of using a tampon, you should wear something just in case.
Am I missing something? Having your hymen broken isn't that amazing of an experience. I highly doubt she'll be having sex for the first time and be disappointed that she isn't feeling the pain of her hymen breaking and mess.
My 11 year old daughter won't wear hygeniene products either. She has period every 23 days. My oldest daughter did the same thing in the beginning. Got past it after about 8 months when she finally realized that it would be less embarrassing to wear one, than to bleed through her clothes. They will get through it, we all did.
I think washing clothes is part of the mother (or father) duties, until child is old enough to pitch in. No set age for that. Whatever parents think is appropriate.
Oh, and the person obssessed over tampons breaking the hymen (or not), and had to comment twice about it....really needs some counseling. Seriously.