I'm sorry these are husbands and fathers-I don't know how you do it. Mine is a brother-in-law. I don't understand how he can afford the bills for ER/DRs. Do you think they should see mental health Dr.s. My brother-in-law loves to go on about his different sicknesses, so maybe bending a shrinnk's ear would help. Is it hypochondria? he seems to come out of Dr visits with diagnoses, but it's constant. I want to smack him, however, that would probably just require another visit to the Dr. There must be answers. Do you women talk to the drs after the visits to find out if there is a real issue? Who knew that there are so many people dealing with this behavior-my bro-in-law's "health" alarms started after sobering up, so I do wonder if that is some kind of key. My heart goes out to all of you.
I am glad to see so many women going through what I am. I am 62 and my husband is 65. We meet 3 years ago and he seemed to be a happy healthy man. A year later he is sick all the time, but doctors never find anything. He would go to a pyscraist but only to get drugs that made him worse. He never wants to do anything social, he rarely even wants to talk to me. He lays in bed half the day. He is retired and keeps says he just an old man and I have to accept that he doesnt want to do anything. That upsets me because he's only 3 years older then me and I in no way see my self as a old lady. I would love to know other women that are living like me that I could talk to
You've only been married for 3 years? That's hardly a lifetime, you were terribly misled by him and I think it's time for you to get out. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life in that misery? If he has no intention of attempting to get better why stick around to enjoy his misery with him?
I'm 76 and I've been screwed out of my retirement income by a zoning change so I found a part time job that I absolutely love. It did take 8 years to find it after I started looking at 62, when I was informed that I couldn't do what I planned for my retirement supplement to social security, because there just aren't many jobs out there for people over 60. Age discrimination laws be damned that's not the problem. When the only jobs available are entry level most 60 year olds are not physically capable of doing those.
My wife has recently become less capable physically but we hope that is only temporary. She still manages to do most of the things she wants so we/I see no reason to limit life and enjoyment of it because we are "old".
So I say if he is not willing to change his attitude you should not have to suffer.
I'm 76 and I've been screwed out of my retirement income by a zoning change so I found a part time job that I absolutely love. It did take 8 years to find it after I started looking at 62, when I was informed that I couldn't do what I planned for my retirement supplement to social security, because there just aren't many jobs out there for people over 60. Age discrimination laws be damned that's not the problem. When the only jobs available are entry level most 60 year olds are not physically capable of doing those.
My wife has recently become less capable physically but we hope that is only temporary. She still manages to do most of the things she wants so we/I see no reason to limit life and enjoyment of it because we are "old".
So I say if he is not willing to change his attitude you should not have to suffer.
My husband and I are both the same age (57) yet he acts, walks as is constantly making moaning breathless sounds and gets pissed if not asked "are you ok" "can I help" or whatever that makes him feel loved unconditionally. He will shut down and give the family the cold treatment for 3 days if you don't act the way he needs. I'd say it's like a little boy needing his mommies attention but my son never acted this bad and he's now 25. We have been married for 6 years and he knows how much this behavior bothers others but it seems to get worse not better. If somebody in the family is legit sick he is automatically sick... talking like he's all stuffed up. Coughing and moaning. It's so obvious it's fake. I'm embarrassed by his behavior for him and me both. I can honestly say it's a big unattractive turnoff and the more it happens the more I pull away.... I'm not his mom and I refuse to treat a grown man like a child.
Why does this have to turn into an attack on Men? Maybe you are just being mean. Maybe that is why he prefers his TV over you. I found this post because my boyfriend is often sick with IBS and I am trying to find some help for him. I thought maybe I would run across some ideas here. But this post is just plain mean. His problem has nothing to do with being a man. How sad for you. :(
1 Corinthians 13. Galations 5. 1 Peter 3. Proverbs 31. Tutus 2:3 but the greatest of these is love...
Titus** sorry for the mispell
You sound like a real treat. No wonder your husband feels physically ill around you and never wants to do anything with you.
After reading all these replies I'm honestly not surprised why your husbands feel sick around you guys.
I'm a woman who has a similar problem, and it's related to severe anxiety and depression. I sometimes get so worked up I'll break out in hives and start vomiting. I'll be sick for days on end and it's not because I want to be. I'm only 26 and I have a healthy weight (120lbs) and doctors haven't diagnosed me with anything terminal. They think my immune system is just sh*t because of all the stress I'm constantly inflicting on myself and keep trying to prescribe tranquilizers and SSRIs.
Another big thing is food and sleep. Sometime I stay up late and binge on junk food, and I will feel so sick the next day I can't do anything. I essentially loose a day of my life every time I mistreat my body like that, and I still do it. Why? Because when your sick in the head, sometimes the only thing that makes you happy is eating c**p. I don't stop until I get sick enough to convince myself I've given myself cancer, and then I'll eat relatively healthy for a few days before relapsing.
In my opinion this is more of a mental health issue than anything. It could be the symptom of an unfulfilled life or a sick marriage or both. The symptoms may be physical but that's because the body is reacting to stress.
I'm a woman who has a similar problem, and it's related to severe anxiety and depression. I sometimes get so worked up I'll break out in hives and start vomiting. I'll be sick for days on end and it's not because I want to be. I'm only 26 and I have a healthy weight (120lbs) and doctors haven't diagnosed me with anything terminal. They think my immune system is just sh*t because of all the stress I'm constantly inflicting on myself and keep trying to prescribe tranquilizers and SSRIs.
Another big thing is food and sleep. Sometime I stay up late and binge on junk food, and I will feel so sick the next day I can't do anything. I essentially loose a day of my life every time I mistreat my body like that, and I still do it. Why? Because when your sick in the head, sometimes the only thing that makes you happy is eating c**p. I don't stop until I get sick enough to convince myself I've given myself cancer, and then I'll eat relatively healthy for a few days before relapsing.
In my opinion this is more of a mental health issue than anything. It could be the symptom of an unfulfilled life or a sick marriage or both. The symptoms may be physical but that's because the body is reacting to stress.
Totally can relate! My boyfriend is a 67 year old man that is feeling sick most of the day. I've been with him 2 years and his health complaints are exhausting me. I love him dearly but his real/ imagined illnesses are putting a toll on my emotions .
Hello, I just had to respond to you. As I sit here writting my 67 year old boyfriend is at the Doctors office again! I've been with him 2 years and about 1 year ago I started to notice he always was complaing about his health. Much about what you write about your husband's problems I can see in my dear sweet guy. I have to say he feels old, I do not! I'm 73 and go to Yoga and Planet Fittness for my health. This craziness of his is drawing my energy!
I dont think these posts are mean. They're really just people burnt out on worrying about their husband's, boyfriends, and wives. I know because I'm in that position!
Holy sh*t. I swear to god every single thing you described is my life. Ironically, I am sitting here now, as he suffers in bed, where he's been all day. He's been laid off for nearly 3 weeks. But even when he's working every day, his stomach always hurts or his sinuses or allergies are acting up or he's got a headache or he's tired. He's always sniffing and coughing and making these annoying groans. He smokes cigarettes and eats crappy food. I cook frequently but we have 2 boys who are 5 and 7 and I work every day, not to mention do all the shopping and cleaning. So a lot of the time he gets impatient and gets fast food befor I make anything. Every single day when I get home from work he's either sitting on the couch on the iPad playing games or on his phone reading about sports, or he's in bed. Regardless, he seriously never "feels good". Oh, and if I am not feeling well, miraculously, he's got the same symptoms, only worse, of course. When he's not "sick" he's amazing. We have so much fun and we love each others families. I don't know what to think. We are engaged, not married. Our two boys are from other people but have been practically brothers for as long as they can remember. all 4 of us parents get along very well. I want to be able to plan things and even more importantly, do things spontaneously with my family, but it seems to be becoming more apparent every day, that i may not be able to ever do that. its exhausting and depressing and emotionally draining. I know this was a very long post, but I had to get it out. I've actually been afraid to look online about this because I didn't want to read something I I wasn't ready for...but I think I needed to.
Omg, my husband got diagnosed and reading that you are almost back to normal just gave me hope, that I will maybe get my husband back one day... its awfull, im grieving my old life and im so fed up of all this
Hi my husband just got diagnosed with lyme, I know the struggle, its unfair and life sucks right now, I wanna know how you are doing? and your husband, any changes? my husband is being treated by a lyme doctor
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